5 Telltale Signs of Great First Dates


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beatlejuice72 is offline beatlejuice72 Post #161  May 2,2010, 3:51pm

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Atlguy38 wrote :
I can't tell you how many seemingly good first dates I had in the last 6 months, only to be completely blown off. I would call a day or 2 later and no answer and no return phone call. I really don't get it.

I was sharing this with a woman who runs a matchmaking service, and she's going to start being my wingwoman. She said that I should have limited them all to 1 hour, which I did not. Pretend to be busy and say I have to go after 1 hour. To me thats game playing, but evidently, as a guy, you can stick around too long and the woman thinks you're too interested. Whatever. I may try it, but it seems ridiculous to me.

I've been so tempted to email these women and ask them what the problem was. But I haven't done that. Still, it eats away at me wondering what I did wrong.
Dude, you are a really good-looking guy and you sound like a cool dude and gentleman. You're not going to have any problems attracting women. I feel your pain and I know your frustration, but as much as it hurts we can't quit. In our hearts, none of us really wants to quit. You just got to keep on keeping on and eventually you will hit paydirt. Best of luck to you!
 
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szgorzelski is offline szgorzelski Post #162  May 2,2010, 3:55pm
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Did someone really need to write an article on what the signs of a great first date are? Is anyone insulted by their perceived lack of our intelligence?
 
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Atlguy38 is offline Atlguy38 Post #163  May 2,2010, 4:14pm
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Thanks beatlejuice, I can't tell you how much I appreciate that. My confidence has been nil since my ex-wife left. I've started getting a little back, as I had a great vacation last weekend (on another thread). But I still believe that in general I'm doing/saying something to repel women, and for the life of me, I don't know what it is.
 
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TXButtercup is offline TXButtercup Post #164  May 2,2010, 4:24pm
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Do you ever hate it when you write a post and then it just disappears into the ether???

Okay, trying again...


Atlguy38 wrote :
I can't tell you how many seemingly good first dates I had in the last 6 months, only to be completely blown off. I would call a day or 2 later and no answer and no return phone call. I really don't get it.
Atlguy and Beatle - I didn't read all the comments, just the most recent and the article. It seems to me from reading the boards that this happens to quite a few people of both genders, and most of us end up here confused and wondering what the heck happened. And even the points in the article don't really clear it up, because based on that, the date was a success.

Atlguy38 wrote :
I was sharing this with a woman who runs a matchmaking service, and she's going to start being my wingwoman. She said that I should have limited them all to 1 hour, which I did not. Pretend to be busy and say I have to go after 1 hour. To me thats game playing, but evidently, as a guy, you can stick around too long and the woman thinks you're too interested. Whatever. I may try it, but it seems ridiculous to me.
See, now this is interesting to me. I went on a first date with a guy that ended up being six hours long. He said he had a good time, and showed obvious physical attraction. But after not hearing from him for three days I took advice from this board and contacted him, inviting him out. So we went on our second date last night. It lasted over seven hours, and he said he had a great time, and again it seemed that there wasn't a lack of sexual tension, but at this moment I still couldn't tell you if he really has interest or I will ever hear from him again.

In the past, I could be pretty assured that a date that went that long (and not because of forced circumstances like a hike or some event that dictated the amount of time) meant both of us were interested in seeing if there was something else. Now, I just don't know.

Atlguy38 wrote :
I've been so tempted to email these women and ask them what the problem was. But I haven't done that. Still, it eats away at me wondering what I did wrong.
I've have thoughts like that myself sometimes (in terms of going back to someone that gave me no explanation or closure), but haven't done it, mostly because I figure if the guy was a coward the first time, what was likely to have changed such that I would get honesty now. I actually would prefer the truth so that if it was something I was unconsciously doing, I could work on that. *shrug*
 
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TXButtercup is offline TXButtercup Post #165  May 2,2010, 4:28pm
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szgorzelski wrote :
Did someone really need to write an article on what the signs of a great first date are? Is anyone insulted by their perceived lack of our intelligence?
There are lots of basic nuts and bolts type articles in the advice archives. And since so many people come here asking "what went wrong?" after a first date that seemed to hit on all cylinders, seems like eHa was just trying to offer some food for thought.

These types of articles, even if not for everyone, might provide some folks another perspective or a jumping off point to ponder aloud and ask questions of others.

To me, it doesn't seem like an attempt to talk down to anyone, but rather to offer a point of view on it and let others share theirs.
 
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beatlejuice72 is offline beatlejuice72 Post #166  May 2,2010, 7:27pm

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szgorzelski wrote :
Did someone really need to write an article on what the signs of a great first date are? Is anyone insulted by their perceived lack of our intelligence?
LOL. Good points. I'd have to say that sign of a great first date is...you get a second date!
 
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