Great question and answers, folks. This is a common dilemma faced by us all, and I think internet dating presents a unique situation. If someone was meeting a different person in the bar every night, that person would be considered a player. But I believe eHarmony is different because we are getting to know people we have been matched with for the express purpose of seeking a long term relationship (hopefully marriage).In orderto get to know someone, we must invest a fair amount of time, energy, and resources. This is time, energy, and resources that is diverted from other areas of our lives. The more you get to know someone, the more you can incorporate that person into your life, ie. activities with family and existing friends, church attendance, etc. But as a single parent, I can tell you that there has to be some pretty significant relationship building going on before my date is going to be interacting on any level with my children.

I've read in a couple of places a recommendation of being in relationship with someone for 2 years before marrying them. This is sound advice, although it goes against the grain of our impatience and flies in the face of our "instant society". Why bring that up? I've also read recently in Elisabeth Elliot's book, Passion and Purity (a good book for thoughtful consideration by adult singles), "Unless a man is prepared to ask a woman to be his wife, what right has he to claim her exclusive attention? Unless she has been asked to marry him, why would a sensible woman promise any man her exclusive attention? If, when the time has come for a commitment, he is not man enough to ask her to marry him, she should give him no reason to presume that she belongs to him" (153).

I present all of this for thoughtful consideration. We have the opportunity to get to know a lot of people, both in our daily lives and through eHarmony. We don't need to rush into an exclusive relationship with a match just because we've been on a few dates. All that can be easier said than done when our hearts get involved. So guard your heart. Don't give it away too easily. If you do, it won't be cherished. People, men and women, tend to place greater value on things that are harder to come by.

Blessings to you all!