After a good first date, how long do you wait to call?


Reply
 
Topic Tools Search this Thread
mytwocents is offline mytwocents Post #31  February 23,2008, 11:42am
mytwocents's Avatar

what a difference a year makes!

Newbie

Joined: Dec 2007

GA

Posts: 44

See profile

Everyone has the "did he/she like me?" after the first date is over. Let the other person know right away. Nothing wrong with a quick e-mail after returning home from a date simply stating had a good time, would like to do it again. Or, the other way around "didn't click". Nobody likes the games. I thought honesty was the key, right?
Good point, Jillybean. We often forget that the other person is having the same questions we are. My favorite match texted me on the way home from the date thanking me for a lovely evening. That was a year ago, and we're still great friends. It was my first date in 20 years and I really like how he handled it. I believe we probably broke all the "rules". But I didn't know what they were and wasn't interested in playing games. If I can't be myself and the other person like me that way, "NEXT!"
 
  Reply With Quote
paghigugma is offline paghigugma Post #32  February 23,2008, 12:06pm
paghigugma's Avatar

Newbie

Joined: Feb 2008

Chicago, IL

Posts: 22

See profile

I am fairly new here.. not even a month. I went on my first EH date two days before VDAY. I will not call it a date, I call it a meet up. We had tea, we both laugh and enjoyed a pretty good conversation. Before we parted he already asked me if it is ok to meet again grab something to eat next time, and I said sure. Now, we went a tea place like 5 mins away from my apt, not even back in my apt he already sent a txt msg, how he had a good time and thanked me. And I responded likewise... few days after that we had our second "meet up", the day after that we had our 3rd... crazy? So, I don't know, I think the guy is really into you, time is not a question.. he will do everything to make that known... and we've been IM-ing, emailing, txting and calling each everyday now... it's crazy but I am glad to have a good experience on my first "meet up"... I will meet up with another guy next week so we'll see how that goes... I am taking things slow and before I go meet up with guys who ask me to meet up, I say out right, NO PRESSURE please.. let's meet up as friends don't come when you have that thoughts in the back of your head that THIS CAN BE THE ONE... so I think that helps, cause if the guy don't reply after that, then oh well... it's fine.. I want to build friendship first more than anything...
 
  Reply With Quote
NBC2008 is offline NBC2008 Post #33  February 23,2008, 1:02pm
NBC2008's Avatar

Newbie

Joined: Feb 2008

Posts: 3

See profile

MW77009, wrote :

This is a question that is piggybacked on another post. Lets say that you go out on a first eharmony date, like the person, and things seem to be jelling. When should you call them? The normal rule of thumb I have heard is 2-3 days. Some say you should wait as much as 9-10 days! Other say you wait until the next day. I usually follow the normal rule of thumb. What do other people think and do?




if you like someone call them and don't play games. I find it humorous when I go out with a guy and we have a great time and he waits the 3 days to call. It is almost a turn off.
 
  Reply With Quote
DianaInHouston is offline DianaInHouston Post #34  February 23,2008, 4:24pm
DianaInHousto…'s Avatar

has a SECOND new ring from Motorcycle Boy!!!!!!!!!!!!

Veteran

Joined: Jan 2008

Houston, TX

Posts: 1,116

See profile


Three days, unless the third day falls on a Friday or Saturday, then it would become Sunday.

If you want to send a quick "I got home OK" email that night, keep it short and end it with a "I'll call you soon" - then call on the third day.If something genuinely odd or exciting happens: "My dog had puppies, I'm on the evening news tonight............" you can call sooner than the three days without looking like a desperate fool.
Why three days? Why is that the magical number? If I like someone and had a good time I would not think less of him if he called me the next day, in fact, I would prefer it!
 
  Reply With Quote
Tete is offline Tete Post #35  February 24,2008, 6:22am
Tete's Avatar

Loves her puppy!

Newbie

Joined: Feb 2008

Tampa, FL

Posts: 13

See profile

I'm going ot have to go with the Golden Rule on this one. Treat others as you wish to be treated. (that's the general idea anyway). But wouldn't you like to be told if someone you just had a great date with was into you or not? I would! So say something. Don't force it, but there's nothing wrong with a quick email/phonecall/text message to say "Hey! I had a great time and would like to see you again." If they want to see you, they'll be flattered. If not, you'll know right away and won't have to worry about playing the waiting game. Regardless if you want a second date or not, a "thank you" for the date is just good manners and, I think, is always best said before parting ways on a date.
 
  Reply With Quote
Txtrainerguy is offline Txtrainerguy Post #36  February 24,2008, 10:58am
Txtrainerguy's Avatar

is at home.

Newbie

Joined: Feb 2008

Posts: 2

See profile


Unless you are 18 and still thinks the sun revolves around the world - why would you make the other person go through the 'guessing games.'





If you had fun - call.

If you thought the date stuck - call.

If your mom thinks she is the one, and you can't get past the fact that he second toe is longer than the first - laugh it off, then call.





Games are for kids. You want to date - put up your t-ball uniform and step up to the plate.
get after it bro!!!
 
  Reply With Quote
ShortyTZ81 is offline ShortyTZ81 Post #37  February 24,2008, 2:22pm
ShortyTZ81's Avatar

Newbie

Joined: Feb 2008

Posts: 5

See profile

I agree with waiting a few days to call someone. however, i think it's just courteous to say, "hey i had a good time and would like to see you again." Then you aren't stuck wondering if the call is ever gonna come or having to weigh out whether or not you should call. The whole waiting game is the worst and i think being adult about dating is a good quality to have and look for. If you can talk to one another and not have to guess it makes the whole process smoother and more enjoyable for both parties. So to everyone that reads this just be upfront and don't play games it makes things so much better to be open and honest with one another from the beginning it eliminates most of the confusion and miscommunication.
 
  Reply With Quote
rufoloqt is offline rufoloqt Post #38  February 24,2008, 5:56pm
rufoloqt's Avatar

Newbie

Joined: Nov 2007

Northeastern NJ

Posts: 9

See profile

MW77009, wrote :

This is a question that is piggybacked on another post. Lets say that you go out on a first eharmony date, like the person, and things seem to be jelling. When should you call them? The normal rule of thumb I have heard is 2-3 days. Some say you should wait as much as 9-10 days! Other say you wait until the next day. I usually follow the normal rule of thumb. What do other people think and do?




I think the norm for a call back would be no more than 3 days. Any longer and a woman would feel like you werent interested. Often if someone persues you quickly they may have there own agenda. Food for thought if you really liked the person why would you wait 9-10 days? Speaking from a woman's perspective I would think you really werent that interested if you waited THAT long. Then that raises another ? If you are not interested what do you do?? Do not reply to the phone call or just e mail them thanks but no thanks?
 
  Reply With Quote
MW77009 is offline MW77009 Post #39  February 25,2008, 9:05am
MW77009's Avatar

Back at work

Pacesetter

Joined: Nov 2007

Houston TX

Posts: 421

See profile


Three days, unless the third day falls on a Friday or Saturday, then it would become Sunday.

If you want to send a quick "I got home OK" email that night, keep it short and end it with a "I'll call you soon" - then call on the third day.If something genuinely odd or exciting happens: "My dog had puppies, I'm on the evening news tonight............" you can call sooner than the three days without looking like a desperate fool.
Why three days? Why is that the magical number? If I like someone and had a good time I would not think less of him if he called me the next day, in fact, I would prefer it!
It does seem to be the consensus that waiting three days is a silly practice. So where did that figure come from anyway?



 
  Reply With Quote
duser123d is offline duser123d Post #40  February 25,2008, 11:04am
duser123d's Avatar

is happy.

Unregistered

Joined: Dec 2007

Posts: 133

See profile


Three days, unless the third day falls on a Friday or Saturday, then it would become Sunday.

If you want to send a quick "I got home OK" email that night, keep it short and end it with a "I'll call you soon" - then call on the third day.If something genuinely odd or exciting happens: "My dog had puppies, I'm on the evening news tonight............" you can call sooner than the three days without looking like a desperate fool.
Why three days? Why is that the magical number? If I like someone and had a good time I would not think less of him if he called me the next day, in fact, I would prefer it!
It does seem to be the consensus that waiting three days is a silly practice.* So where did that figure come from anyway?


I think it follows the notion of "playing hard to get," which seems to work for a lot of people. I think most people are a little tired of that kind of game-playing these days.
 
  Reply With Quote
Reply


Topic Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new topics
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

Looking for a Great Relationship?

Get started now. Fill out this form and take the questionnaire to receive your matches.

First Name:

I'm a:
seeking

Postal Code:

Country:

Email:

Confirm Email:

Password:


How did you hear about us?


Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards

“It's important to understand the way a site works. Rigidly assuming / insisting that eH works likes all the others you're used to isn't utilizing the site functions to your best advantage. No.... ... ” –  Wiseman2

Join the “First contact on eHarmony, smile, questions, email?” discussion

“ If you have yet to meet, you don't know him or whether you two will form a connection. Connections formed over e-mail tend to be fantasies. You will see this echoed over and over by experienced ... ” –  shapeShifter79

Join the “How do i recoonect with him again?” discussion

“ Then it's a bit premature to worry about being friend-zoned. The first step is to go out on dates! What specific steps did you try? How many women did you ask out in person? Did you buy a ... ” –  shapeShifter79

Join the “For women to answer: How to avoid the friend zone” discussion

“ This is an old thread. She asked this in 2010. By now they are likely very exclusive or very over. ” –  shapeShifter79

Join the “is there a reason to ask if we're exclusive?” discussion

“ I'm sure he wouldn't get that. And I can't be sure that was the actual message. But it sems kind of likely to me.” –  boomer_gal

Join the “Why am I not successful?” discussion

“Hi eccemuliere and welcome to eHA.On an internet forum like eHA, you're going to get a wide variety of responses; some you'll like and some you won't. It's best to focus on the ones that speak to ... ” –  Sassafras54

Join the “Being blown off, or something else?” discussion

“ Although I have ignored my gut at times, in hindsight it's always been right, in terms of recognizing bad choices. QUOTE] But once we realize our past mistakes, we can use our reason to clue us ... ” –  eccemuliere

Join the “Is Your Gut Leading - or Misleading You?” discussion



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 5:16am.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2012, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.6.0