Advice and Support from Thousands of Users Just Like You

Dating First-date jitters? Hoping for a second date? Moving on to a full blown relationship? Share your journey and advice here.

Reply
Page 43 of 44 « First 33 41 42 43 44
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
GEF2 GEF2 is offline
GEF2's Avatar

GEF2 one???

Pacesetter

Join Date: Sep 2009

Posts: 269

See profile

If you think she's attractive and you would go out with her again if she were thinner, then why don't you give her another chance? Not everyone has a 'perfect' body and unless you're completely repulsed by her body, I don't think that you should not give her another chance because you feel that she needs to lose weight. Maybe she's a great person. Maybe she's happy with her appearance or maybe she is trying to lose weight and having a hard time. Believe me, a few extra pounds does not make or break a relationship. If you had a great time with her otherwise, I would go out with her at least one more time. You never know.
- October 6th, 2009, 09:49 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#421   Reply With Quote
Big_Bopper Big_Bopper is offline
Big_Bopper's Avatar

Big_Bopper Burping, Farting, and generally making a pig of myself.

Quick Study

Join Date: Aug 2009

Posts: 52

See profile

I wish you people would get with the program and start talking metric…
200lbs SOUNDS like a lot, but then I figure it’s actually only about 90kgs. Sadly today, in America and Australia, that is about average.

You should be more concerned with diet and exercise. I am constantly amazed by the men who as a couple just want to swill beer, eat pizza, and watch football, and then complain that their partners are overweight.
As a general rule, women have a much tougher time of this, as a man can generally metabolise twice the food and alcohol of a similar sized woman. So cut her some slack.
- October 7th, 2009, 09:37 am
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#422   Reply With Quote
Sassafras54 Sassafras54 is offline
Sassafras54's Avatar

Veteran

Join Date: Oct 2009

Posts: 1,319

See profile

You have a right to want whatever you want. You just have to accept the consequences: a smaller (pun intended) dating pool. And possibly passing up the relationship of your life.

I have many times felt initially attracted to a man, then had that fade as we got to know each other. And vice versa. People can grow on you (again, pun...).

I don't think there's any way to tell her you'd be interested if she lost weight. How would you do that? "If you've lost 40 pounds in 6 months, call me"? Of all the women I have ever known, not one would have a positive response to that.
- October 7th, 2009, 11:32 am
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#423   Reply With Quote
NMMinAR NMMinAR is offline
NMMinAR's Avatar

Newbie

Join Date: Jan 2010

Posts: 2

See profile

Your scrutiny over weight is probably why you are still single. I understand one likes what one likes...it seems that your high, narrow desires in a woman's shape may need to be rethought. Don't rule out relationships with a girl that is, in your opinion, heavy. Expand your mind maybe you will get past "looks" and find "love". Good luck.
- January 17th, 2010, 12:54 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#424   Reply With Quote
GEF2 GEF2 is offline
GEF2's Avatar

GEF2 one???

Pacesetter

Join Date: Sep 2009

Posts: 269

See profile

wrote :
Now in the second case, the woman was pretty interesting and attractive in person, but clearly weighed about 200 lbs. (5'6"), although on her profile she described her body type as 'average'. Regardless of anything else, 5'6" and 200 lbs is not "average". I'd like to see her again, but won't really be truly interested unless she loses weight ... I wonder if there's any way to communicate this ...
Oh no. DO NOT tell her that you'll date her but only if she loses weight. Women are extremely sensitive about their weight and if you say that to her, she'll remember it for the rest of her life-I guarantee it! If you don't like her the way she is right now then you need to move on. Its your issue, not hers. She might be a great person and you might like her very much, but if you can't get past the physical, then you need to move on-but don't tell her it was because of her weight-that's a low blow..even if you don't mean to insult her-it will!
- January 17th, 2010, 01:15 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#425   Reply With Quote

ADVERTISEMENT

melman melman is offline
melman's Avatar

Veteran

Join Date: Aug 2009

Posts: 1,442

See profile

And what if Miss 200-Lbs had posted profile pictures that were more like a Miss 140-Lbs? Which has happened to me. Sorry, but that doesn't get to pass without comment.
- January 17th, 2010, 01:32 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#426   Reply With Quote
natej30 natej30 is offline
natej30's Avatar

natej30 is at home.

Newbie

Join Date: Jan 2008

Posts: 45

See profile

If you're looking for someone who is physically active, and lives that life style, you'll probably want someone else. You've got date the person for who they are, not who they could possibly be if they change to what you want them to be. If you're looking for a fit woman, then wait for a fit woman.
- January 17th, 2010, 02:29 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#427   Reply With Quote
marguitar marguitar is offline
marguitar's Avatar

marguitar cancelled her eH account today.... yeah me!!!

Quick Study

Join Date: Sep 2009

Posts: 133

See profile

melman wrote :
And what if Miss 200-Lbs had posted profile pictures that were more like a Miss 140-Lbs? Which has happened to me. Sorry, but that doesn't get to pass without comment.
As well it shouldn't! It's hard for me to believe that so many people actually misrepresent themselves, but if this is the case, and the woman who shows up is "twice the woman she used to be", I don't think she gets a pass on that.

That's just blatant dishonesty, and a rose by any other name...
- January 17th, 2010, 02:32 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#428   Reply With Quote
shakeslady shakeslady is offline
shakeslady's Avatar

Newbie

Join Date: Feb 2008

Posts: 2

See profile

Reactions to photos are so subjective. It's so interesting when I meet people in person. Some say I look younger than my photos, some say I look older. Some say I'm heavier than they expected, some say I look thinner in person. Some say I look exactly like my photos, some say I look completely different. Most say I'm prettier in person.

They're all looking at the same photos (including a close up and a body shot), so how do you explain the discrepancies in opinion? My suspicion is that most of us tend to build up some sort of fantasy (conscious or not) when we become interested in someone online, and then look at their photos through the lens of what we personally find most attractive. I've know been guilty of that myself. Unless I believe someone is being intentionally deceptive (and some definitely are) I try to give them the benefit of the doubt and really look at the person sitting across from me as if I had no preconceptions about his appearance and see if there's an attraction to the real human being -- physical, mental and/or emotional. Easier said than done, I know, but I find it often pays to keep an open mind.

Of course, if you're genuinely not attracted to a person and you know the attraction is not likely to develop in the future it's better to end things quickly and kindly. No need to go into detail. I usually just say that chemistry is important to me and I didn't feel a spark.
Last edited by shakeslady; January 19th, 2010 at 08:21 pm.
- January 19th, 2010, 08:13 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#429   Reply With Quote
beautifulgenius beautifulgenius is offline
beautifulgenius's Avatar

beautifulgenius Life feels like it's getting complicated....

Enthusiast

Join Date: Nov 2008

Posts: 993

See profile

Truthfully, I don't that there is any good way to handle that kind of a problem. If you aren't interested, then that's it. Pictures don't really tell the truth about anyone, no matter how good or bad they look.
- January 19th, 2010, 09:39 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#430   Reply With Quote

ADVERTISEMENT

Reply
Page 43 of 44 « First 33 41 42 43 44

Bookmarks

« Great first date! | Array | When they do not answer your question »
Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On

Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards

“Kind of like calling people who consider themself spiritual but not religious "idiots"? Split hairs all you want, but that's what you did. I can link to the thread where you did this, if you ... ” – nunayabizness

Join the “Getting Over My Girlfriend's Past Lovers?” discussion

“I dont think it works that way obviously. ” – Nanette

Join the “Who Makes The 1st Move” discussion

“lol....the psychologists are referring to a real life face to face meeting. Some research says that it's even shorter than 30 seconds and more like the blink of an eye. I do think there is some ... ” – DancingFool

Join the “Ladies, do you decide in the first 30 seconds if you're interetsed? And, what are you looking for in a first impression?” discussion

“You don't. That would be rude and cruel. You thank them for the lovely/interesting/whatever conversations that you've had the past couple of weeks, but you're focusing on another match. Then wish ... ” – nunayabizness

Join the “New pics and not attracted” discussion

“I hope you didn't say Jolly good either in front of her, she might've misunderstood!” – PY_2

Join the “Rough Start” discussion

“I think (if you are the gal) that you should let him work it out by himself. Men pretty much don't need womens help.” – Nanette

Join the “how do men feel after divorce” discussion

“We had a blizzard Friday night and all day Saturday so we stayed in and ....well maybe this belongs in the LTAS group. You built fire together?” – PY_2

Join the “Monday, February 8th weekend and date roundup!” discussion

“Is there a question somewhere?” – tweet37

Join the “Doesn't want to work, doesn't want sex, drinks” discussion



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 03:11 pm.

Discussion Boards Archive

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.1
Copyright ©2000 - 2010, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.3.0