How to handle a common first-date problem - she's much heavier in person


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PhotoSavy is offline PhotoSavy Post #361  August 15,2009, 6:04pm
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Seriously, it is all about confidence. It doesn't matter about the weight. If a person is confident in whom they are and they are happy to be around, then that draws attraction. If you can have common activities that you can do with one another it's a plus...walks along the beach, hikes, bike riding, then it reaches both goals...having fun together while helping with the weight loss and increase an energy. While I don't sit home and eat bon, bon’s I try to say active. It’s tough on women who are over 45 and as long as my guy sees that I am active, happy and confident then it's ok. If a man doesn't get that...then next!
Last edited by PhotoSavy; August 15,2009 at 6:08pm.
 
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roguewolf1 is offline roguewolf1 Post #362  August 15,2009, 6:19pm

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PhotoSavy wrote :
Seriously, it is all about confidence. It doesn't matter about the weight. If a person is confident in whom they are and they are happy to be around, then that draws attraction. If you can have common activities that you can do with one another it's a plus...walks along the beach, hikes, bike riding, then it reaches both goals...having fun together while helping with the weight loss and increase an energy. While I don't sit home and eat bon, bon’s I try to say active. It’s tough on women who are over 45 and as long as my guy sees that I am active, happy and confident then it's ok. If a man doesn't get that...then next!fficeffice" />

Are you saying it's ok for women to lie about their weight? Are you also saying women over 45 have a harder time losing weight than men over 45? Lastly if a woman lies and the guy shows up to find her much larger in person or morbidly obese and he doesn't like her, then f him?
 
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HappyandLight is offline HappyandLight Post #363  August 15,2009, 6:21pm
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la_angel wrote :
I agree that people should post current photos of themselves - no argument there. But the fact that you found a woman that you say is interesting and attractive but you couldn't be 'truly interested' in unless she loses weight, that's just downright wrong. Is it because you would be embarassed to be seen with her as is, or what? Sounds to me like you should just move on until you find your 'right-sized' woman and let her find someone who will appreciate her for who she is.
Why is this wrong? When people are looking for a mate, they are not just looking for a friend but someone they are attracted to and want to have sex with. One cannot control their attraction, it just IS. And I don't blame them. I have nothing against fat people as people but to expect people to accept them and be *just* as attracted to them as to slender folks, that is just not realistic or fair.

By the way, I am female and slender. I love the inner qualities of my boyfriend...he is intelligent, noble, funny, sweet, etc BUT if he was too fat when I met him I'd have to say "no". Sorry, I don't want to make love with a fat man. And it's understandable...it does not make one superficial...we like people who have a balanced life, eat normal portions and are fit.

It's just how things are. If fatter people want more love in their lives, get their eating/exercise lives in order. It's much better than arguing that things aren't fair.
 
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roguewolf1 is offline roguewolf1 Post #364  August 15,2009, 6:23pm

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OP I would say just enjoy yourself on the date. She might be a great lady and you might find a friend. So stick around the date and enjoy it. I've found some heavy women to be
sensous, great conversationalists, loyal friends and fun to be with. Also hot in bed.

It's happened to me more than once but hey, I'm not perfect. Who am I to judge? This is the internet, we are all on a job interview here putting our best face on.

Some bbw make better friends
and partners.
Last edited by roguewolf1; August 15,2009 at 6:26pm.
 
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Bouffy is offline Bouffy Post #365  August 15,2009, 6:27pm
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robert2008 wrote :
Now in the second case, the woman was pretty interesting and attractive in person, but clearly weighed about 200 lbs. (5'6"), although on her profile she described her body type as 'average'. Regardless of anything else, 5'6" and 200 lbs is not "average"..
*drool* More like above average! Who wants regular anyways?

Where can I find a yummy muffin like that? I don't see the problem here, are you skinny or something? I'm 6'3; 240; This size of girl is great! Curvy and Delicious. As long as she's active and not out of shape. I love big girls.

You hear me world?!

Big girls, you are beautiful.
Fat bottom girls you make my rocking world go 'round!
Eat all the fries you want baby! We can work 'em out later ;p
 
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HappyandLight is offline HappyandLight Post #366  August 15,2009, 6:29pm
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k374 wrote :
you really cannot compare lack of height in a man to being overweight in a woman. Lack of height is purely superficial, it doesn't make a man less healthy or less capable. Weight on the other hand is the result of a poor lifestyle, a lack of discipline to take care of your own body and that is definitely not a positive trait.

Not implying that overweight women are bad people but their lifestyle would not be compatible with someone who is not overweight and is active..they just would not be able to keep up! Therefore they are not a match!
You said it! We all want what we want. I eat a natural food diet that is pretty clean. Naturally I am attracted to men who appreciate this style of eating. I like it because it makes a person look their best...so I would be turned off to a person who ate crappy food and didn't care and didn't exercise.

Also, if a person overeats it's a sign of lack of discipline or gluttony...not attractive.

Now, I know overweight women can be great women! And beautiful! And I know you have lots of great qualities...but please stop saying someone is superficial if they don't want your brand. It is a preference and a justified preference.

I know I do not want a fat man.
 
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neardc is offline neardc Post #367  August 15,2009, 6:30pm
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roguewolf1 wrote :
Are you saying it's ok for women to lie about their weight? Are you also saying women over 45 have a harder time losing weight than men over 45? Lastly if a woman lies and the guy shows up to find her much larger in person or morbidly obese and he doesn't like her, then f him?
How the heck did you get this out of her statement...lol?

(Men do, on average, have faster metabolisms than women because of their higher muscle mass, which burns more calories. So, yeah; it is more difficult for women over 45 to lose weight than men over 45, especially for post-menopausal women. That doesn't mean that "this" particular woman will have a more difficult time than "that" particular man, but overall it is certainly true.. )
 
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landstar59 is offline landstar59 Post #368  August 15,2009, 6:37pm
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Bouffy wrote :
*drool* More like above average! Who wants regular anyways?

Where can I find a yummy muffin like that? I don't see the problem here, are you skinny or something? I'm 6'3; 240; This size of girl is great! Curvy and Delicious. As long as she's active and not out of shape. I love big girls.

You hear me world?!

Big girls, you are beautiful.
Fat bottom girls you make my rocking world go 'round!
Eat all the fries you want baby! We can work 'em out later ;p
The women are gonna love you! Why aren't you closer in age to me? You're a hunk!
 
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CreolePrincess is offline CreolePrincess Post #369  August 15,2009, 6:48pm
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I say that if you're not physically attracted to her, that's your preference. I'm sure there's someone else out there for you as well as there is someone else out there for her. You shouldn't go into a second date thinking you want to change aspects of her. Talk with her, tell her you think that the two of you would make better friends and move on. After all, you don't know why she's overweight. It could be a physical problem or that she's within the last year picked up a lot of weigh because of depression or something like that and is having a hard time getting it off. Actually, the reason why isn't something important where you would be concerned if you're not accepting of her as she is. But don't try to change her or even ask her to change. That decision should be hers independently.
 
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organizedmayhem is offline organizedmayhem Post #370  August 15,2009, 6:52pm
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Bouffy wrote :
*drool* More like above average! Who wants regular anyways?

Where can I find a yummy muffin like that? I don't see the problem here, are you skinny or something? I'm 6'3; 240; This size of girl is great! Curvy and Delicious. As long as she's active and not out of shape. I love big girls.

You hear me world?!

Big girls, you are beautiful.
Fat bottom girls you make my rocking world go 'round!
Eat all the fries you want baby! We can work 'em out later ;p
Mercy!! Where can we get more of you?
 
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