Advice and Support from Thousands of Users Just Like You

Dating First-date jitters? Hoping for a second date? Moving on to a full blown relationship? Share your journey and advice here.

Reply
Page 36 of 44 « First 26 34 35 36 37 38 Last »
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
ashtonyvonne08 ashtonyvonne08 is offline
ashtonyvonne08's Avatar

ashtonyvonne08 is at home.

Newbie

Join Date: Apr 2008

Posts: 3

See profile



I am a big beautiful woman and I also have a hard time finding men because of my weight. And I understand where she's comming from. But I also understand where you're comming from. She SHOULD have a body picture of herself, I have several on mine. She did lead you on and in the end she will get hurt (it's happened to me, so I've learned to show the good, AND the bad pictures) All I recommend is that if you really and truely care about her, then you'll accept her for who she is, and not her weight. Just a suggestion. *lol*

Ashton
- April 9th, 2008, 06:25 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#351   Reply With Quote
fledermaus fledermaus is offline
fledermaus's Avatar

Newbie

Join Date: Feb 2008

Posts: 26

See profile



I think many of the wiser posters nailed it on the head: we are all attracted to different things. It's inevitable, and there is no crime in that. Where maturity comes in, however, is how we deal with an initial lack of physical attraction, *and* whether we can be mature enough to see past at least some of our turn-offs some of the time to some extent, in order to see a bigger picture of hte person behind the weird teeth or that bad shoes or the height or weight issues.

In my case, my last relationship was with someone much older than me. When I saw pictures of him younger (which, by most people's standards should be by definition 'better looking'), I told him if I had met him like that I would never have dated him, let alone fallen in love with him. He had a positively terrifying moustache, and I would have taken one look at that lip-gerbil and run for the hills (or at least the suburbs; after all, I was wearing heels). Of course, had I got to know him first in some context preclusive of any dating possibilities, then I probably would have come to love him as a friend and seen only him, and not the ferocious nutria poised to devour his lip...

But again, pictures aren't reality. I dont look pocket-sized in photos. ANd I also look less pretty in real life than I do in pictures. Both sides need to be upfront with the information and the questions when there are deal breakers about physical appearance. Otherwise you've both wasted a bunch of time. A potential (or actual, but by then he'd be warned) date has every right to tell me he can't date a girl a foot and a half shorter than him, and I have every right in return to think it's petty and superficial. But on the other hand, if he shows up for that let-down date looking like Tom Selleck in 1984, well, I'm going to be relieved, not indignant...
- April 20th, 2008, 08:54 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#352   Reply With Quote
calikit calikit is offline
calikit's Avatar

Newbie

Join Date: Aug 2008

Posts: 8

See profile



I am not skinny and I am not fat.Iam not beautiful nd I am not ugly. I amaverage. What kills me is that men list they want to date an aveage female. But what I experience is that men state they are looking for an average female but are really looking for the Barbie doll which is ok but at least be honest about it.


Also men.... do not ask when going into a private conversation when will there be sex.That's a turn off. I am looking for a long term relationship; not a fling. Things will happen naturally when the time is right.


- August 30th, 2008, 09:06 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#353   Reply With Quote
Wiseman2 Wiseman2 is offline
Wiseman2's Avatar

Enthusiast

Join Date: May 2009

Posts: 589

See profile

Nobody likes the bait and switch.Some men like full figured women, they even have dating sites just for that. It not shallow Hal stuff at work here, it's deception that turns a guy off. Be yourself get a flattering ,recent photo up and the guys who respond to you will sincerely be interested, rather than setting your self up for rejection.
- June 9th, 2009, 11:57 am
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#354   Reply With Quote
timeless2 timeless2 is offline
timeless2's Avatar

timeless2 is missing da beach, da water, da rum

Virtuoso

Join Date: Dec 2008

Posts: 3,783

See profile

[quote=fledermaus;77058]I think many of the wiser posters nailed it on the head: we are all attracted to different things. It's inevitable, and there is no crime in that. Where maturity comes in, however, is how we deal with an initial lack of physical attraction, *and* whether we can be mature enough to see past at least some of our turn-offs some of the time to some extent, in order to see a bigger picture of hte person behind the weird teeth or that bad shoes or the height or weight issues.

In my case, my last relationship was with someone much older than me. When I saw pictures of him younger (which, by most people's standards should be by definition 'better looking'), I told him if I had met him like that I would never have dated him, let alone fallen in love with him. He had a positively terrifying moustache, and I would have taken one look at that lip-gerbil and run for the hills (or at least the suburbs; after all, I was wearing heels). Of course, had I got to know him first in some context preclusive of any dating possibilities, then I probably would have come to love him as a friend and seen only him, and not the ferocious nutria poised to devour his lip...

But again, pictures aren't reality. I dont look pocket-sized in photos. ANd I also look less pretty in real life than I do in pictures. Both sides need to be upfront with the information and the questions when there are deal breakers about physical appearance. Otherwise you've both wasted a bunch of time. A potential (or actual, but by then he'd be warned) date has every right to tell me he can't date a girl a foot and a half shorter than him, and I have every right in return to think it's petty and superficial.
Yikes! IMHO- It actually takes time to really see if the two of you can communicate well. Until then- 'love is an angel disguised as lust' - Patti Smith
- June 9th, 2009, 12:16 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#355   Reply With Quote

ADVERTISEMENT

bonopeart bonopeart is offline
bonopeart's Avatar

bonopeart Jon Stewart is GOD!!!!

Newbie

Join Date: Jun 2009

Posts: 15

See profile

Okay, FIRST OFF, as a guy, coming up to 40 years old this year, who is 5'10", 260lbs, I have a large bone structure and build, lots of muscle, but know that I need to lose 40-60 lb's minimum. But, I carry my weight well, and don't have a huge gut. But what really irritates me, is all of the criticism heaped on women who are heavier, and just because of that, are considered "unattractive". That is BULL! I've dated a few plus-sized women, women who where so beautiful, and I loved them dearly. Our relationships lasted in the 2-3 year range. And this was when I was much skinnier, at about 180lbs. It wasn't because I found ALL plus-size women "attractive", but these particular women where just drop-dead gorgeous. And I am not bragging, but I've also dated models and a popular female actress.

My point is, most people here don't seem to understand it depends on the individual woman. You are too blindsided by your societal prejudices, and seem to care more about what others think then what you want! You want the "Big Prize" sleek 'model-like women' because you can show her off and can't wait to get into her pants.

Some of you really better take a good hard look at your priorities or you will be lonely for life.
- June 9th, 2009, 03:30 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#356   Reply With Quote
DanielJr82 DanielJr82 is offline
DanielJr82's Avatar

Quick Study

Join Date: Jun 2009

Posts: 103

See profile

Honestly, though, if you're not making any progress how about losing some weight? Change your diet in small steps and sweat more, you might see improvement in mere weeks. And don't just do it for physical appearance, your health, stamina, and confidence will improve as well.

I'm a chubby guy (and balding, double whammy) but I'm working on fixing it. Truth is... women can be as visual as guys. It goes both ways.
- June 9th, 2009, 08:08 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#357   Reply With Quote
Lindajh84 Lindajh84 is offline
Lindajh84's Avatar

Lindajh84 is freezing her toosh off. Well not exactly. Anyone want frozen fingers?

Newbie

Join Date: May 2009

Posts: 17

See profile

I was overweight in high school. Girls would talk about me behind my back and the guys? Barely looked at me. It was only when i turned 19 i lost the weight and that is when i had my first bf.

Needless to say i know who the fakes are. The ones who cant really see past the weight. They would prefer a woman whose attitude stinks but has a pretty good body. Tell me, if you two continue to talk and she loses weight and looks a million bucks, would you want to be with her then?

You cant help being shallow. Its who you are
- June 11th, 2009, 08:09 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#358   Reply With Quote
k374 k374 is offline
k374's Avatar

Quick Study

Join Date: Jan 2009

Posts: 112

See profile

you really cannot compare lack of height in a man to being overweight in a woman. Lack of height is purely superficial, it doesn't make a man less healthy or less capable. Weight on the other hand is the result of a poor lifestyle, a lack of discipline to take care of your own body and that is definitely not a positive trait.

Not implying that overweight women are bad people but their lifestyle would not be compatible with someone who is not overweight and is active..they just would not be able to keep up! Therefore they are not a match!
- June 11th, 2009, 10:21 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#359   Reply With Quote
CreolePrincess CreolePrincess is offline
CreolePrincess's Avatar

CreolePrincess It is so complicated, ya'll, and it doesn't even have to be.

Virtuoso

Join Date: May 2009

Posts: 2,573

See profile

Since appearance is such a big issue for many people, dating sites should have not only "what do you prefer" questions but also "what will you not accept". That would save a lot of time and heartache. And for premium members, they could feature a full nude spread to really put everything out there.
- June 11th, 2009, 10:44 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#360   Reply With Quote

ADVERTISEMENT

Reply
Page 36 of 44 « First 26 34 35 36 37 38 Last »

Bookmarks

« Great first date! | Array | When they do not answer your question »
Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On

Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards

“This is a tough one, and I can see the wisdom in using a more pleasant and less hurtful reason to end things....however, if you're going to post pictures of yourself that are not only aged, but ... ” – nunayabizness

Join the “New pics and not attracted” discussion

“No, I don't have ADD --just him. He actually admitted that he blurted it out last night even though I wasn't yapping away. He has said something similar before with the interrupting, which is why I ... ” – Can_I_just_be_Jo

Join the “Stop Talking” discussion

“What's with all the modding?” – newbie40something

Join the “argued about birth control methods” discussion

“So essentially what I'm learning is that a guy I just closed out after waiting more than a week (and they said he had had no activity) and forgot about a nudge because I am new since early January, I ... ” – Crcbonjour

Join the “Close or leave open?” discussion

“ I think I might have woken the dead. ” – adragon

Join the “NOT Religious...... but SPIRITUAL ???” discussion

“Man you should NEVER talk about relationships on the second date. That's way too soon, dude. Just keep it fun and light...if things go well, you'll naturally transition into a relationship...there'll ... ” – Mickey275

Join the “Utterly confused after second date” discussion

“ lol! I agree...what the heck?” – LizziePooh

Join the “I fell in love with my car salesman,someone help me” discussion

“Why on earth would you have skipped to 'fast track' mode with this woman, only to ask her questions as if you were still in GC? I would find that odd in itself. Why not just continue the GC and ask ... ” – Wonderwoman402

Join the “Are these questions odd” discussion



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 09:07 pm.

Discussion Boards Archive

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.1
Copyright ©2000 - 2010, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.3.0