When do you stop communicating with others


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missy2u2002 is offline missy2u2002 Post #1  August 14,2008, 5:25am
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So I went on my second date, and we had a great time. I really like this guy a lot and I am not sure if I want to vernture into open communication with anyone else right now, but I also don't want to jump the gun and get too excited. I had a date with someone elsethe day beforeand felt a little awkward since I had second date with guy #1 schedule for the next night, guy #2 will not happen as he couldn't keep his hand to himself, but I have started communicating 2 other guys that I think I might like to get to know, but we have only entered into the first set of questions. How does this whole thing work? What is acceptible or normal? Is it too soon to ask how he wants to proceed? I definetly do not want to scare him away. Help pease
 
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brixjnz is offline brixjnz Post #2  August 14,2008, 5:33am
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It's too soon to ask where it's going. And it's too soon to turn your focus to one guy. I tell you from experience, there are a lot of regrets that come when you let a potentially great guy go because you focused on the wrong one too soon. Just date casually for a little and make sure they all know where you stand. And make sure that you're honest and respectful of their feelings.
 
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noseyparker is offline noseyparker Post #3  August 14,2008, 5:42am
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When you stop communicating with others, it should be a mutual decision. Usually it happens after people have been seeing each other for some time. The relationship 'experts' suggest that it should be his idea, not yours. I'm told that men like to feel as if they are taking the lead, in a relationship. At least, that's what my matches seem to like. Guys correct me if I'm wrong, please.


Too often women get 'exclusive', while the man is still dating others. Prescription for heartbreak, big time IMHO.


Best of luck with your new beau. [img]library/editor/plugins/emotions/img/smiley-smile.gif[/img]
 
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missy2u2002 is offline missy2u2002 Post #4  August 14,2008, 6:54am
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I am in open communication with others, I just don't know if I want to start more communications at this time or if I should put the matching on hold for a little while and just stay with the few I am talking to now. I will defintely take the advice and let him make that decision.
 
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dkj is offline dkj Post #5  August 14,2008, 7:17am
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Until you are "mutually exclusive" I wouldn't stop your normal procedure. I used to only date one person at a time, whether it was 1 date or more. It's just not practical when internet dating.
 
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Mia21972 is offline Mia21972 Post #6  August 14,2008, 8:28am

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This is a good topic. I've totally lost interest in all my matches since I've been talking to one man in particular. I'm looking forward to reading the opinions here.
 
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Glider_Pilot is offline Glider_Pilot Post #7  August 14,2008, 8:36am
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brixjnz,215096 wrote :

It's too soon to ask where it's going. And it's too soon to turn your focus to one guy. I tell you from experience, there are a lot of regrets that come when you let a potentially great guy go because you focused on the wrong one too soon. Just date casually for a little and make sure they all know where you stand. And make sure that you're honest and respectful of their feelings.
Couldn't have said it better.


It's easy (and tempting) to focus on one person right away. At most for your stage, I'd shut down matching on your profile and explore how things go with the men you're already dating. After four or five dates, you'll have a better idea whether you want to explore things with the one man, and whether the others really aren't a good match.


Don't jump in too soon.
 
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robv_la is offline robv_la Post #8  August 14,2008, 8:40am
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There is no normal or acceptable. There is only what feels comfortable to you.


From your statements here's what I see. You like guy#1 and want it to progress. However, you feel it's too soon to just shut down any other options. The problem is you kinda feel guilty about dating other people while starting to see guy#1. This guilt or discomfort comes from going against your feelings for guy#1.


My suggestion is don't resist the feelings for guy#1, just accept them and then let the relationship unfold at it's own natural pace. If you feel too uncomfortable continuing to see other guys right now, then don't. But that discomfort should come from an obligation to yourself and your own feelings, not out of some sense of obligation to someone you are just getting to know.
 
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gr8galmv is offline gr8galmv Post #9  August 14,2008, 8:54am
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I wouldn't stop communicating with others until I have a good number of dates with one person behind me. At that point I still think it is too soon to bring up the idea of mutually making each other exclusive. Usually after a few dates I will make my own independent decision as to whether I want to focus on this one person and will stop receiving new matches as well as other communications. And I don't bother to tell the other person as it might put undue pressure that isn't necessary. Only after around 2 or three months of dating I'll bring up the idea of being in a committed relationship.
 
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missy2u2002 is offline missy2u2002 Post #10  August 14,2008, 9:02am
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This is great advice i really appriciate it, We have set up another date for next weekend, I am a little weary about setting up other dates, I know we are both on EH and we have talked a little about our experiences here, but do you tell someone you were out on a date when they call or ask how was your night? It just doesn't feel right but I want to be completely honest. He is definetly the front runner here and I don't want him to get the impression that he is anywhere other than that.
 
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