couch112 is offline couch112 Post #1  August 11,2008, 1:33pm
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Hello everyone. I have a question, especially for the women. I've read many profiles over the years in which women state that they don't want to play games, or any "players". Now the question is this, do most women really mean that? Or do they really want you to play "their" game?

I would like an honest answer if it is possible. I think many people say they don't want to play games, but subconsciously, they expect some games. And if the game isn’t played correctly, or at all, they lose interest. Is a guy who calls when they say they are going to call and shows a genuine interest in someone less exciting than someone who “forgets” to call, or is too “busy”?

I’ve read that most people want what they can’t have. So if this is true, then the only way to achieve this would be to create the illusion that you can’t be obtained. In other words, play games.

So what is everyone’s take, and what do you truly want from someone you are interested in? Someone that keeps their word and pursues you? Or someone that seems unobtainable?
 
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Mia21972 is offline Mia21972 Post #2  August 11,2008, 1:36pm

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I can't speak for all women, but I appreciate honesty; even if it hurts. Period.
 
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GGMTS is offline GGMTS Post #3  August 11,2008, 1:49pm
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Personally......... when I say NO GAMES, I MEAN NO GAMES!! I don't want a PLAYER, I don't play people, I don't want to be played. I'm upfront, honest, I expect the same in return. My experience so far on EH, has been dissappointing. I have had men who say they are looking for a relationship, but when you start to get to know them, they aren't looking for a relationship at all. Many are testing the waters again, looking for an ego boost, or looking to play.


I thought EH was for singles, honestly seeking a LTR ? Am I wrong?
 
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j2 is offline j2 Post #4  August 11,2008, 1:49pm
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speaking from my experience, yes they do want some measure of games, don't belive them when they say the don't. but i have never gotten truly negative feedback from doing what i said i would do. if you say you will call then call. i have, however, repetedly gotten in trouble for taking them at their word...


you should however note that i am single. and that my experience has generaly been more 'interesting' than good. so perhaps you do not want to go by my experience?
 
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LizziePooh is offline LizziePooh Post #5  August 11,2008, 1:50pm

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I can only speak for myself but I want someone that keeps his word and pursues me. I am not into games, never have been. I am a very direct person so game playing is beyond me.


I am not sure from your post if you want someone that is into game-playing or not. But if you are trying to figure out if some plays games, just look at their life and the people in it. If there is high-drama, then there is a big chance that person plays games. I can tell you from my experience, sometimes the best indicator of a person's personalityis the friendships they keep in their life. In my life, no drama queens. Obviously, life happens and drama will enter once in awhile but just long enough to get sorted out. So if you want to know if someone is really telling the truth about themselves, ask them about their friends and family and listen to what they say.
 
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lookin4the1 is offline lookin4the1 Post #6  August 11,2008, 1:51pm
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I appreciate honesty as well. I'd rather a guy, or anyone for that matter, be brutally honest with me. If I don't like it, I can either get over it or let it bother me.
 
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kim9610 is offline kim9610 Post #7  August 11,2008, 1:53pm
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I REALLY mean it when I say I don't want a player and I don't want to play games.
 
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ThePriestess is online now ThePriestess Post #8  August 11,2008, 1:57pm
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kim9610,211506 wrote :

... and I don't want to play games.
You're just upset because I beat you at Scrabulous :P
 
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stillthesame is offline stillthesame Post #9  August 11,2008, 1:58pm
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ive put in my profile that i do not want a game players in the past, and when i wrote that i wanted someone who didnt play games, who calls when they say they will, basically backs up what they say.why would someone want to seem unobtainable?really?i think there enough players out there already.
 
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Sarah is offline Sarah Post #10  August 11,2008, 1:59pm
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couch112, wrote :



I’ve read that most people want what they can’t have. So if this is true, then the only way to achieve this would be to create the illusion that you can’t be obtained. In other words, play games.

So what is everyone’s take, and what do you truly want from someone you are interested in? Someone that keeps their word and pursues you? Or someone that seems unobtainable?
I think it is oversimplying it a bit to say people are playing games. I think what happens in a lot of "getting to know you stage of relationships. People give too much of themselves too soon. Then the people involved lose interest. It's like the story you always hear about when you give the kids all of the toys on Christmas day and they play with them for a week or so, but no toy quite touches them like that Red Rider BB gun LOL (Remember the Christmas story?)


If you give people what they want with little to no effort on their part even in relationships, they start to take it for granted. I say that having learned the hard way. Maybe it also depends on the level of the people involved as well. I dated a guy for a time and did everything for him, gave him a lot of myself, and he just took it for granted, at the same time he gave very little of himself.


I learned from that experience. I don't advocate playing games, but I think people in a relationship have to gauge what they are both giving and receiving from each other. Make sure it's reciprocal (It won't always be). Just check themselves. If they are interested in someone and they find, they are making all the moves to get to know that person, i.e. calling (that person never calls), making dates etc... then check that, and realize that this person isn't being reciprocal and pull back. Why give of yourself if you aren't receiving. Don't nag about it, pull back and "allow' them to step up and if they're not, well then you have to decide if you want to continue in a situation like that.


So what I want from someone is a reicprocal relationship where it counts. I realize sometimes there will be times where one will do more than the other, but for the most part, both parties involved are consistent in their interest and actions towards each other.
 
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