Divorced twice= red flag?


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happy2day is offline happy2day Post #1  August 8,2008, 6:15pm
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I may be completely off-base here but should someone who's been divorced more than once cause me to pause? I am widowed, not divorced, so I don't really know from experience. Maybe there are a lot of people like this who just hurried into marriage before they were sure....
 
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pinz is offline pinz Post #2  August 8,2008, 6:20pm
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Well, we need a lot more DETAIL to evaluate this.
How long between the two? And now? Are there children? Are ex's-still in the picture? Is it acrimonious or civil? Is he 'angry' or 'sad' because of either?


Did he marriy really young because of 'teen pregnancy' ? etc. etc. etc.


I suggest you do a little more 'research' before you make any kind of 'investment'.
 
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Mia21972 is offline Mia21972 Post #3  August 8,2008, 6:20pm

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happy2day, wrote :

I may be completely off-base here but should someone who's been divorced more than once cause me to pause? I am widowed, not divorced, so I don't really know from experience. Maybe there are a lot of people like this who just hurried into marriage before they were sure....
Divorced twice means two mistakes. You get a third strike in baseball...
 
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Glider_Pilot is offline Glider_Pilot Post #4  August 8,2008, 6:29pm
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Pause? No. Keep your eyes open? Yes.


Two failed marriages. Something has gone wrong. Either this person consistentlypicked the wrong people, or was doing something themselves to end the marriage(s) - or jumped in far too soon, just as you surmise.


None of those are reasons to write someone off. But they're reasons to keep your eyes open a bit, while dating that person. Go, have fun. Keep your eyes open.
 
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Linda is offline Linda Post #5  August 8,2008, 6:30pm

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pinz,208356 wrote :

Well, we need a lot more DETAIL to evaluate this.
How long between the two? And now? Are there children? Are ex's-still in the picture? Is it acrimonious or civil? Is he 'angry' or 'sad' because of either?


Did he marriy really young because of 'teen pregnancy' ? etc. etc. etc.


I suggest you do a little more 'research' before you make any kind of 'investment'.
pinz is absolutely correct........a lot more detail information is needed before formulating a judgement about him.


Being divorced twice does not necessarily mean someone is tainted goods......
 
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dkj is offline dkj Post #6  August 8,2008, 6:35pm
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I have been married twice. Of course there is nothing wrong with me. LOL.I think there is nothing wrong with having it as a red flag. I think I can overcome someone's red flag. I wouldn't cross someone off just at the mention of it though. If there are good reasons to get divorced twice, you get divorced twice. Sometimes it wasn't your mistake.
 
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javajava5 is offline javajava5 Post #7  August 8,2008, 6:41pm
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Dear Happy2Day,


Yes, any divorce should cause you pause. You really need to find out more information when appropriate. With each marriage, theprevalence of the marriage ending in divorce continues to increase. In other words, the more marriages a person has had, the less change their next marriage will be successful. Look at Larry King, Elizabeth Taylor, etc.


In June, there was a thread: How Many Previous Marriages Constitute a Dealbreaker?


It may be helpful to read some of the posts there:


h t t p : / / a d v i c e . e h a r m o n y . c o m / ? p a g e = v i e w _ t h r e a d & T I D = 1 2 3 1 5 & s t a r t = 0 (no spaces of course).


JavaJava5
 
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AnderPooh is offline AnderPooh Post #8  August 8,2008, 7:56pm
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I'd say so...but I guess theres always two sides to a story...so it really makes me wonder what went wrong
 
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gr8galmv is offline gr8galmv Post #9  August 8,2008, 10:42pm
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For me, I am not interested in dating a man who has been divorced more than once. I'm too young to be involved in someone who has two failed marriages without really needing the reason behind them.
 
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Cyclist_Steve is offline Cyclist_Steve Post #10  August 9,2008, 2:31am
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considered it - and decided not to

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happy2day, wrote :

someone who's been divorced more than once cause me to pause?
sounds like it already has. [img]library/editor/plugins/emotions/img/smiley-smile.gif[/img] i'm not sure how big of a deal it should be - that's really a personal preference on what you are looking for in a partner, the way i see it. i know some folks that have never been married that would (as i see it) not be 'marriage material' - i also know somepeople that have been married multiple times that would make anexcellent partner for someone.


not enough info make a call. i think it still all boils down to the quality of the OP's relationship, and not comparing or judging for past challenges in relationships. people CAN learn and change. [img]library/editor/plugins/emotions/img/smiley-laughing.gif[/img]
 
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