Men: About dating younger women


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brit3164 is offline brit3164 Post #1  August 8,2008, 1:35pm
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was approved for her Pasadena apartment. YAY!!

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I know men typically date younger and women typically date older, but Im still wondering how men feel about this. Im 22 and I tend to find myself dating or in relationships with men who are approaching 30. I dont care at all, but I was wondering how men would feel if they were in this situation.


Do you expect the same from a relationship, or do you take into account age? Im thinking right now of splitting things financially (dates, etc? Most of the time I'll pay just as much and as often, but sometimes its hard on me yet I dont want to bring it up and sound too young). Im at an age where Im finished college but not established in a career - and I probably wont be for another few years. Also, when I get matched with someone who has a Must Have of "sexually mature and knowledgeable/experienced" Im left wondering if Im supposed to be easy because at my age, thats the only way I could gain the experience. Or, are they saying they would want me to be sexually mature, knowledgeable, and experienced for a 22 year old?


Im guessing that it doesnt much matter because if someone likes me then they like me, period...but opinions would be appreciated!
 
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peter1337 is offline peter1337 Post #2  September 4,2008, 10:25pm
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So, when I was younger, I dated older women. I pretty much dated women at least 10 years older than me for most of my life - at least the more than a month or two relationships.


Part of it was the fact that we were very sexually compatible. There's something to be said for Mrs. Robinson, she knows how to appreciate her boy-toy. While that was definitely part of the attraction, the reality is, is that we could share all kinds of fun relationship stuff. I could learn about things I didn't already know, get to experience all kinds of art, culture, and entertainment that I wouldn't have chased down on my own.


Also, during a relationship that lasted for 4.5 years or so, got to experience a taste of parenting, make all kinds of relationship mistakes, and eventually still retain a bit of friendship. In retrospect, I made tons of mistakes. The girls I was with, put up with all kinds of stupid immature stuff. God bless them for doing it!


At this point, I tend to date a little younger.. I'm nearly 36. I don't know if I could date an early 20-something. It would basically depend on whether or not she had enough maturity to handle it if something came up, and I offered a slightly more experienced perspective, without getting uptight and insecure about being viewed as 'young' on one topic or another. Having recently been in a relationship with someone who was physically 29, but emotionally 6, I don't rule anything out, I'm just a dite gunshy.


Being older doesn't necessarily mean that we know anything, it just means we've had a bunch more experiences, and chances to grow. Truthfully, experience, wisdom, and maturity aren't necessarily proportional to years on this planet. There are some attitudes I found myself with in my late 20's, that I ended up discarding for the ideals I had in my late teens, by my early 30's.


No guy wants to be with a girl who's "overly" experienced. By the same token sexually mature really just means that you're not uptight about sex, that you don't have any stigmas stuck in your mind about what sex means, how many dates you should or shouldn't wait, etc. I may very well be a minority, but I'm not interested in sex with someone I don't feel a connection with. Or someone I don't think there's a future with.


Not to say, that having sex with someone you meet in a club just for sex's sake, and because you feel a physical connection is horrible, but because I've done it enough times in my life, that I don't want to bear the emotional burden of attachment, without the possibility of a lasting attachment. Sexual maturity for me, is knowing that it's okay to have sex whenever I want to, but also understanding that being okay with it being "just about sex" makes me feel crappy afterwards, and feel like I'm wasting my time. On the other hand, if I have a connection with someone, I can feel the possibility of a lasting relationship, I want to make love minimally daily, 3 or 4 times a day if we're both feeling it.


I wouldn't say that being easy is the best way to get knowledgable/experienced, I'd say being in a relationship with someone, building trust and a 3-part connection (mind, body, spirit) is the way to get the experience, because it takes time to get to know someone, sexually, mentally, and spiritually. I would say, that in my experience, it takes about 6 months to really get to know someone.


And allegedly, I've heard 18 months to know whether or not you want to spend the rest of your life with them or not. Congrats on your apartment by the way!
 
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peter1337 is offline peter1337 Post #3  September 4,2008, 10:27pm
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Wow... I left a gigantically long comment and it killed it when I had to register.





I don't think I have it in me to do that again tonight!
 
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jayjay is offline jayjay Post #4  September 5,2008, 6:27am
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...things seem to have gotten quiet around here.

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First of all in my opinion a 22 year old woman dating a man approaching 30 is nothing. I'd think when it can start being an issue is when it's approaching 15 years difference. But in an y case, regarding what certain men expect regarding 'experience' or even who pays for what....don't worry about what anyone expects. Think about what matters to you and don't consider changing who you are or your own perspective to be what some guy might expect or want. Actually....same goes for the age difference. Go by what seems right to you. It seems you're at a time in your life when you're really coming into your own as an 'adult' and getting a clear grasp on your own perceptions of life and the world. I'd say go with these and don't let anyone else define 'the way things are' for you. P.S. congrats on getting the apt. [img]library/editor/plugins/emotions/img/smiley-laughing.gif[/img]
 
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GolferGuySC is offline GolferGuySC Post #5  September 5,2008, 6:39am
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had a great round of golf today

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heck my Mom and Dad had 8 years between them and its worked out great for almsot 50 years.


I don't think 22-30 is any problem at all.
 
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jamesp81 is offline jamesp81 Post #6  September 5,2008, 7:22am
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I generally prefer to date a little bit older myself. This is primarily because women younger than me (early 20s) I just don't seem to relate to very well.
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #7  September 5,2008, 7:41am
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I may not be of the appropriate age to answer your question as I can't quite remember back to when I was 30. But I will offer at least some opinions.


In my adult years I have always been quite comfortable with younger women (or people in general) no matter what my age. When I was 32 or so I was most attracted to a young lady 10 years younger who had also recently graduated college and was just starting her career just as you are. Today I still would prefer a woman 10 years younger.


Age difference is both dependent on what age you are and the particular people involved. When you are 8 someone 18 is really old. When you are 22 someone 30 is likely much more in the same experience area.


When I am looking for friends or date I do not look at the age but look at the person. If they exhibit values and behavior that I find appealing then I like them and want to spend time with them.


As for your question of money and paying on dates. I understand you wanting to contribute and having just started on your career you don't have a lot of money to spend. For my experience and expectations, I have usually had a higher paying job than most of the girls I have gone out with and I expected to pay. I have also found that my dates who had the least were more willing to contribute than those who did have a great deal of money. I personally expect to pay. If you have been going with a guy for a while and you feel you need to "take him out" you can do it on the cheap by fixing him dinner and getting a DVD or something. The personal touch of fixing him dinner is going to mean more than all the money that you may not have.


All the best of luck. I would be happy to date someone just like you. [img]library/editor/plugins/emotions/img/smiley-smile.gif[/img][img]library/editor/plugins/emotions/img/smiley-tongue-out.gif[/img][img]library/editor/plugins/emotions/img/smiley-embarassed.gif[/img]
 
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hazmat is offline hazmat Post #8  September 5,2008, 7:51am
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Ideally,i'd like someone within 5 or so years of my age. I just think we'd have more in common. If you find yourself more compatible outside that range, there's not a thing wrong with that.


As far as the sex thing on the profiles...If the must have is an experienced sexual partner, it probably just means they're a horndog. When you find the right person and you're comfortable with them, the sex will be natural and they'll be happy to learn with you. Every person is different and likes different things in the bedroom. A person can have a lot of sex and still not be "experienced".Don't be easy...[img]library/editor/plugins/emotions/img/smiley-wink.gif[/img]
 
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SactoDoug is offline SactoDoug Post #9  September 5,2008, 8:01am
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is wondering why he can't get no satisfaction.

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Compatability is more important than age. If two people are very compatable, then age should not matter much unless there are biological issues such as wanting to have children.


If there are compatability issues, then age may be a factor in it since people have different goals and view things differently at different stages in life. These things can be overcome but the deciding factor should be the compatability, not the age.
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #10  September 5,2008, 8:41am
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hazmat,247764 wrote :

Ideally,i'd like someone within 5 or so years of my age. I just think we'd have more in common. If you find yourself more compatible outside that range, there's not a thing wrong with that.


As far as the sex thing on the profiles...If the must have is an experienced sexual partner, it probably just means they're a horndog. When you find the right person and you're comfortable with them, the sex will be natural and they'll be happy to learn with you. Every person is different and likes different things in the bedroom. A person can have a lot of sex and still not be "experienced".Don't be easy...[img]library/editor/plugins/emotions/img/smiley-wink.gif[/img]
Excellent second paragraph.
 
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