Marijuana Use: Dating Deal Breaker?

Marijuana Use: Dating Deal Breaker?

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Marijuana Use: Dating Deal Breaker?


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bigfincat is offline bigfincat Post #311  May 3,2009, 8:23pm
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Alisanar,603324 wrote :

If you hitched your star toa career field in any area where the words "arrest" "conviction" "drugs" "jail" "bail" "felony" or even "misdemeanor" would forever bar you...or at the very least cause irreperable harm to your reputation, DO NOT date, live with, marry, or continue to see/be around a partner who smokes marijuana. You run the risk of living up to their reputation whether you participate or not. You know about it, you are there, you may very well take the fall.


The debate over whether it should be legal or not, etc., makes no difference. Where do you want to end up? Moreover, that your partner does not care whether you risk everything or not, pretty much says that you are not first in your partner's priorities.


If you "put your foot down" and tell them they will notsmoke marijuanaor you will leave, get your bags packed because it won't be long....probably a day or two...before you hear the lies, find the evidence, or just get it tossed in your face. If you are lucky you will leave and not have garnered any of the words mentioned before to drag around in your life.


To feel better, visualize the future with him...some old doper, the neighborhood "go to guy", still smoken and token as if he were a 16 year old loser and now he's 30, 40, 50. UGH! "Cool" does not come to mind.


Yes there are worse things...but this is about marijuana...it just goes nowhere in its own way.







I don't see a partner's issues with marijuana & the law having much bearing, if any, on ones career advancement. Perhaps if you are looking to be a partner in a firm or something but even thenit would likely not havemuch effect.


It is VERY unlikely thatthe home of a casual user is going to be raided or anything unless they are having parties with a whole lot of the stuff.Law enforcement just is not going to care enough about it. People tend to get caught in automobiles with the stuff but that would be on she/him & not tied to you.


If your partner is selling it then I do see the possibility of harm.


I think that you overestimate the risk involved here.
 
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cp30 is offline cp30 Post #312  May 4,2009, 3:06am

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cfm333,474977 wrote :

Yes it is a deal breaker because anyone who uses has his primary relationship with pot and not with you. They are loyal to their drug and it is like being a third wheel your own relationship.
As much as I've tried to open my mind. I think anyone that uses it daily or very frequently, indeed, makes pot the priority and its their primary relationship.


You will be the third wheel, unless you fully accept and participate. But I'm not sure where that gets you.
 
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rocchio is offline rocchio Post #313  May 4,2009, 7:19am
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RockmanJeffro,604274 wrote :


I can understand this being a deal breaker for you're a typical conservative. For me its the complete opposite! Most people who hate on the ganja more than likely don't know a damn thing about what medical research has shown. Factspeople, look at the FACTS. Its the hypocrytical/brainwashing/political figures that give the hemp plant a bad name. Don't get me wrong, although I sound like a pothead right now(I'm NOT)I do believe that too much of ANY one thing...has got to be a bad thing. However, for the open-minded risk takersout there, spark up and start "slowing downtime" to enjoy God's gift to the WORLD.


Love, Peace, Harmony (i'm not a hippy I swear!)


Well put! I believe that moderation in all things is the better course of action.


It is better to rise from life as from a banquet--neither thirsty nor drunken.


Aristotle
 
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Gutierrez22 is offline Gutierrez22 Post #314  July 8,2009, 5:53pm
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I dont have a problem with this, as long as its not a priority for getting high all the time, and they still have the qualities that I want and need in a person. Just make sure it doesnt take over the realtionship or let alone their life, but all in all its not a big deal.
 
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lacedwithhope is offline lacedwithhope Post #315  July 8,2009, 11:55pm
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bigfincat wrote :
I don't see a partner's issues with marijuana & the law having much bearing, if any, on ones career...People tend to get caught in automobiles with the stuff but that would be on she/him & not tied to you...I think that you overestimate the risk involved here.
I think getting caught with your partner's stash in a vehicle is a valid concern, if you share cars and if you work in a field like medicine where your license to practice would be suspended or even revoked if you are arrested for possession. I have a classmate who lost her license over one DUI -- California is very strict.

As a single mom, I would never knowingly risk my medical license by dating someone who regularly used pot. If it's a daily habit, then he could have an addictive personality -- perhaps the tip of the iceberg. But the real issue for me would be jeapardizing my kids' future. I would consider it irresponsible parenting.

Sure, the chances of having your car searched (traffic accident, speeding, tail-light malfunction, checkpoint, etc.) with your bf's stash in your car isn't great. Not a risk I'd wish to underestimate. So, it's a deal-breaker for me.
Last edited by lacedwithhope; July 9,2009 at 12:01am. Reason: quote boxes
 
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openurmind is offline openurmind Post #316  July 9,2009, 12:35am
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marajuna use should be a deal breaker if you are against it. All I ask is that you don't forget medical marajuna and in other cases like old time pot-heads. I'll take a pot-head over a drinker any day.....
 
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Mayne is offline Mayne Post #317  July 9,2009, 12:39am
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Dealbreaker for me - as would any form of smoking. I just don't like smoke, period... but conceptually, I'm not sure if an occasional joint is much different than drinking alcohol.
 
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stevex is offline stevex Post #318  July 9,2009, 9:22am
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No, has long as she doesn't give herself or me in trouble with the law because of it all is good. I have smoked pot a few times, never got high from it for whatever reason, and haven't done it sense. I think it should be legal; however, my fear is getting a random drug test and losing my job over a joint. Also, if she had it in my car and I got stopped and they found it it would be problematic for me. If she wants to smoke pot with her buddies or at HER place that is HER business. I wouldn't mind her smoking around me but I am not sure I would take a drag as again I have a good job now that I don't want to lose.
 
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cloud_9 is offline cloud_9 Post #319  October 7,2009, 2:37pm
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Dealbreaker; enough said in my opinion.
 
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CharlesMartel is offline CharlesMartel Post #320  December 30,2009, 2:18pm
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A true story and then some.

A decent German girl early 40s, blonde, attractive was seduced over time by a ghetto type with surface good presentation skills, good English and even German. Enticements went on for a couple months with porn being forwarded in email conversations. She resisted his advances which were heavily sexual. The attraction was the language which she missed using. But she was vulnerable for her need for attention. She was void of prejudices following the heavy propaganda in Germany on that subject. Felt she had to prove a point. The emails sent to her included video of himself stripping. Eventually she went to his digs in a low rent district downtown San Diego. She did not use to even touch alcohol, was a vegetarian, never did drugs. He kissed her with a whiff of marijuana in his lungs and got her hooked. First time ever for her. Then the wine, then the marijuana direct from a roach, pretty soon he was video taping her without her knowledge while having sex. Then he used those photos and vids to post on specialised swinger sites for a lesbian lover and persuaded her to have sex with a woman. The German woman has an 11 year old boy. She started to neglect him, stopped working and became addicted to the forcible sex and drugs. He also "invested' her money. She never saw that money again. When she tried to leave several times he forcibly took her car keys away and locked her in the bedroom. He threw her on the bed and raped her. When she finally went home and no longer took his calls after she hook up with her old boy-friend he started to send everyone she knew pictures of himself getting satisfied with her by email including her grand mother in Germany. What a shock. He hassled her on the phone and her parents several times a day when she fled to Germany and also to friends here in the US. he threatened her friends by phone, painting her as a prostitute, which was his eventual plan. Turns out he is wanted in Germany where he was less of a business man and a male striper in the red light district in Hamburg. He also has a criminal record in San Diego and in Wisconsin. This caused her ex husband to ask for full custody of her son. She studied for a year to be a massage therapist and was denied a license.

THIS IS WHAT MARIJUANA CAN DO. People who use drugs to get a high or be sociable are losers inside. They are weak and preoccupied with own pleasure. Not a good match. Say no to drugs. Don't be a loser. Most of my attorney friends in Orange County were casual drug users and not just the Democrat ones! One of these younger attorneys (40s then) stole money from the entry fees for a large singles party I had organised at the Irvine Marriott one Xmas season.
THAT IS WHAT MARIJUANA CAN DO. But it does not do that alone. It goes with the mind set. One supports the other.
My roommate at Berkeley was a chemistry honour student. Son of a pastor. Met an older girl then went into marijuana and never showed up for the finals. Last I heard many years ago was that he was making large stones into little stones
THAT IS WHAT MARIJUANA CAN DO. The Nirvana can be had in many ways. But that one is an easy and destructive one. Not he only one though.
 
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