RAustinS is offline RAustinS Post #1  July 28,2008, 8:31am
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I have had this discussion many times recently and thought I would throw it out to group......when you "meet" someone for the first time from EHarmony say for a drink or coffee or lunch.......who should pay?


I don't consider this a "date" since we are agreeing to meet for the first time.


My experience is that 80% of the time the woman does not even offer to pay. I live in TX and would like to know if it is different in other places of the country??
 
 
jordast is offline jordast Post #2  July 28,2008, 8:32am
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Whoever asks, pays.
 
 
sucrechef is offline sucrechef Post #3  July 28,2008, 8:48am
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I agree with Jordast that whoever asks should pay. I always offer to pay (at least my own way) as I consider it polite to offer. Usually the gentleman thanks me for my offer,but politely declines. My suggestion is that you make the first meeting something you can afford to cover on your own, and if she offers to contribute, bonus.
 
 
sucrechef is offline sucrechef Post #4  July 28,2008, 8:48am
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I agree with Jordast that whoever asks should pay. I always offer to pay (at least my own way) as I consider it polite to offer. Usually the gentleman thanks me for my offer,but politely declines. My suggestion is that you make the first meeting something you can afford to cover on your own, and if she offers to contribute, bonus.
 
 
Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #5  July 28,2008, 8:52am
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I do consider it a date, you have already "met" albeit on line but that is the age we live in. I always pay. I usually make more than most of my dates but have found that the girls that had the least were more likely to offer than those who made a lot more than I. If I was in a LTR (this would be having gotten at least a second date) and my girl asked me out because it was my birthday or some other special occasion then I might let her pay.
 
 
gm420 is offline gm420 Post #6  July 28,2008, 9:01am
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Wow, didn't we just finish a huge thread on this topic? First couple dates, guy pays. Once it's something of a relationship, it's open to interpretation.
 
 
4getmenot is offline 4getmenot Post #7  July 28,2008, 9:04am

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I agree with gm420.... Guy pays! Well, a true gentlemen that is.
 
 
firenrain is offline firenrain Post #8  July 28,2008, 9:15am
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If it's just a "meeting" and very casual, then I don't consider that a date and both should pay their own. A gentlman would not let the woman pay, but I think it's still acceptable for both to pay. If a woman asks a guy out on a "date", I think she should be prepared to pay for it. But if a guy asks, I think it would be out of the question to expect the woman to pay. Although I have ended up paying for a lot of dates because the guy weasels out. I think there is an age factor that comes into play here. Seems the younger the people are, the more open they are to paying their own way. I'm older, so I still expect the old-fashioned way of doing things, and have noticed that the more mature men are insulted if a woman pays for anything.
 
 
Glider_Pilot is offline Glider_Pilot Post #9  July 28,2008, 9:15am
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And yet another vote for the guy pays. Why not take hte opportunity to establish that you're a gentleman right off the bat? As they say, you never get a second chance to create a first impression. Whether this is a "date" or not.
 
 
jenlove1121 is offline jenlove1121 Post #10  July 28,2008, 9:25am
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The girl should always offer to pay, but the guy should not make her pay or go dutch. If the girl is the one that initiated it, she should be more persistent in wanting to pay, but the guy should still pay for it. I'm all about old fashioned manners. Opening doors, offering of seats when a girl doesn't have one, offering his jacket when it's cold, etc. If dating and marriage was like that, women would feel more loved and appreciated every day, resulting in less divorce and happier couples! It's that easy!
 
 
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