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DreamingOfAtlantis got 1st place in all his 3 Bronze III heats and his first Silver heat ever!

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VikingQuest wrote :



I'll be honest, I leave it up to the guys a lot of the time. I guess everyone is different, but here's how I decide whether or not to start communication...


I look at the photos and scan the profile. If I find myself very interested in talking to the person, I will initiate communication (and I often never hear back from these guys anyway...blah)


If the guy seems HORRIBLE, I'll close the match. If he has no photo posted, I will scan his profile. If the profile is STELLAR or there's something about it that makes me want to know more I will either initiate communication, send a photo request or both. But if there is no photo and the profile is not complete or full of one liners and there's nothing to keep me interested, I'll close.


Then there are the guys who I "might" be willing to talk to, but it's up to them to initiate communication. Why? Because, based on their profile, I'd be willing to give them a chance but I'm not interested enough to put myself on the line and open myself up to being rejected.


So if there are women you want to communicate with, DO IT. All it takes is the click of a button or two. The first questions are saved anyway, so unless you want to change your questions, it's just a couple clicks of the mouse... a no-brainer.


Great advice. First of all, post your darn picture. What are you trying to accomplish but not posting a picture? What world do you live in? Second, for the guys, man up and send some questions or a comment if you are interested. Otherwise, close right away with some generic comment. The women are, in many cases, wiating for your response and you are not making their day by putting pressure on them to initiate a conversation. Don't think that is fair? Tough luck, grow up and grow some.

"Tough luck, grow up and grow some."


I think that goes both ways. If a woman is the type to sit around on her tucas because she's too much of a fraidy-cat to just send a set of questions, I'm not sure I want to date her. I'll wait for someone who has enough self confidence or a strong enough self image that it won't be an issue for her.


Not that I don't send questions -- I do, but if she's that unsure of herself, whether it shows up in sending me questions or not, in the long run, I won't have much respect for her. (And note, before anyone whines about it, I pointed out it doesn't have to show up in her not sending questions -- if she's that unsure of herself, it'll show in other ways.)


Oh, and I'll add I don't think I've ever closed a match because of her picture. I get so few matches and so few of those ever even respond to any communication, I can easily give them all a chance. Besides, I've had times when I've seen a woman's pic when a friend showed it to me, thought she was just the prettiest thing I ever saw, then met her and ran out searching for mean-girl repellent. I've had other times I've seen pics of a woman and didn't like them, but found her to be quite interesting. In one case I'm thinking of right now, she's now a good friend.
- September 6th, 2008, 10:21 pm
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Just a story I want to tell I don't know what it means, but a few years back before the dating sites came into prominince. I met a girl on an AOL chatroom, chatted on IM for a few months, said she looked like Pocohontas, sent a picture, looked like she described herself. Turns out when I go to meet her, she looks absolutely nothing like her picture. Turns out it was a friend of hers. She wasn't as "attractive" as she said, but that wasn't the point, it was the fact she lied. I'm no Adonis, but I sent my real recent picture at the time.
- September 6th, 2008, 10:27 pm
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I'm always honest, sometimes brutally so...hey men from jail need loving too....
- September 6th, 2008, 10:49 pm
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Mia21972 wrote :

Once again, I point to these as evidence of the need for "Because you're a total freak" reason on the closing menu.
Too funny - and too true!!!
- September 6th, 2008, 11:10 pm
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Never just on photo. It's usually a combination of photo and profile comments that I'll use to decide.
- September 6th, 2008, 11:19 pm
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While I certainly don't close them out, the sole inclusion of professionally done glamour shots puts up a red flag for me. Such a tendency indicates to me that said individual is only comfortable presenting herself in her absolute best possible (plastic) light, and not as she really is. I intentionally include "less-than-flattering" pictures in my profile, since I'm well aware of the fact that I often don't look my best. The absolute last thing I want is to meet someone face-to-face, and witness a reaction of "what the heck?" upon first observation.
- September 7th, 2008, 12:01 am
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Since I am here to meet women to date then I will close a match if I am not attracted to them. If I love their profile but think they are not attractive then the best I can hope for is afriend. This is not a friend service.
- September 7th, 2008, 12:28 am
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I have seen this "I will Close people that have Glamour Shots" as their pictures comment a number of times now...


You do all know that EH's own recommendations are to post "Professionally" taken pictures, right?


You are kind of penalizing people for following what EH recommends...


I quote from their FAQ:


8. We highly recommend having photos taken professionally. A photo taken at a portrait studio will make you look your very best. We definitely do not recommend using Polaroid cameras or webcams, which often tend to take unflattering photos.


- September 7th, 2008, 01:20 am
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I didn't read the whole thread so forgive me if I am repeating. On page one or two Red Sox Girl commented about semi nude and a pic of his abs got a close from her. Can't say that I blame her for that. On another site I have seen a girl (in her 20's) post a pic of her chest (in a t shirt) Itwasn't a nude shot.That was her only pic. I would like tothink there was more there than that but I guess not!!For that and other reasons she wouldget theCLOSE.


On yet another site Ihave seensome photos that fit the OP here. She didn't look that bad but the photoI think was taken with a cellphone and was just a littlescary.There were a couple of other things there but the photowound up beingthe final straw. Take the time to get a good photo up it isn't that toughto do or get a friend to do for you. If you know someone who sells on e-bay those people have the software and equipment to do this.


I will add that While a photo willprovide better results I have gone to OC in the past with one that didn't have a pic on her page. Actually we got to a date but that is another story that has been told already.If you can't come up with a good pic that isn't scary it would be better to not post any.


jm2cw
- September 7th, 2008, 01:28 am
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ScottK wrote :

I have seen this "I will Close people that have Glamour Shots" as their pictures comment a number of times now...


You do all know that EH's own recommendations are to post "Professionally" taken pictures, right?


You are kind of penalizing people for following what EH recommends...


I quote from their FAQ:


8. We highly recommend having photos taken professionally. A photo taken at a portrait studio will make you look your very best. We definitely do not recommend using Polaroid cameras or webcams, which often tend to take unflattering photos.

Not sure I agree with you Scott


Glamour Shots pix can be fun but don't belong in the online dating scene. They are in my mind for BF's and Husbands not to present yourself honestly since they usually don't. Like I said they can be fun but not as a primary photo.


I think what EH is refering to is a regular potrait studio that presents a honest but good representation of yourself. On my EH profile I have three or four photos that are snapshots of myself that were taken by other people. One that was taken by a semi professional and two were taken by regular pros. Of the two by pros the one that sometimes is my primary photo is just a portrait of me which actually was taken for a church directory.


jm2cw
- September 7th, 2008, 01:38 am
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