Advice and Support from Thousands of Users Just Like You

Dating First-date jitters? Hoping for a second date? Moving on to a full blown relationship? Share your journey and advice here.

Reply
Page 9 of 10 « First 7 8 9 10
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
travelfairy travelfairy is offline
travelfairy's Avatar

Quick Study

Join Date: Nov 2008

Posts: 104

See profile



This is a good discussion. I'm not a juggler either, once I like somebody I lose interest in everybody else.


I agree that normally the sex thing and exclusivity thing need to be concurrent, (though smooching doesn't) so I think if they (or you)are wanting to be physically intimate, then it's time to talk exclusivity.


I would hate to think the guy I was dating was having sex with one woman one night, me the next and somebody else the night afterwards. Better safe than sorry.
- December 31st, 2008, 01:24 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#81   Reply With Quote
deddancer deddancer is offline
deddancer's Avatar

Newbie

Join Date: Dec 2008

Posts: 13

See profile



That has so many variables it's hard to answer. I personaly would never consider it in the first month of dating unless the person I was dating was someone I was already friends with and even then it would probably be a month or so after changing the relationship dynamics.


I would definitly make sure that what "exclusive dating" meant to him was the same as what it meant to me. "Serial Monagamy" and dating are sometimes the same thing for some, ie, they want a exclusive monagamus commitment duing the time most would be dating. Dating to me is the period where I am getting to know the person, learning if our long term goals are compatible, finding out if we really enjoy the same things (you can enjoy doing the same things a very different way and therefore not enjoy doing them together).


I consider exclusive dating something right before "I would be willing to share my banking information with this person". Its not something I would jump into but then I don't let them show up with thier suitcase on the 3rd date either. (Don't laugh, it has happened to me and several other friends here in Texas .. both female and male)


I have found that I have regreted being talked into an exclusive relationship earlier than that. On the other hand I have never regreted not making the relationship exclusive immediately. If they don't want to take the time to get to know me and let me get to know them before they want me to commit to an exclusive relationship then they are not the right person for me. I have found in most cases it took a month or two to figure out if someones actions fit their talk, but that will be dependent on how often you see them and in what situations. And I am pretty fast at getting to know people





- December 31st, 2008, 02:09 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#82   Reply With Quote
rkeathw rkeathw is offline
rkeathw's Avatar

Unregistered

Join Date: Dec 2008

Posts: 24

See profile



When you sleep with her, it is exclusive. Anything else is booty call. What are you looking for?
- December 31st, 2008, 03:23 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#83   Reply With Quote
PY PY is offline
PY's Avatar

PY Sometimes...just be a bigger person and take the high road.

Unregistered

Join Date: Oct 2008

Posts: 4,962

See profile



LOL and here I thought just kissing meant being exclusive already! How could I be so dumb!!! LOL!!!!
- December 31st, 2008, 03:38 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#84   Reply With Quote
Bizzy Girl Bizzy Girl is offline
Bizzy Girl's Avatar

Bizzy Girl is fabulous!!!

Quick Study

Join Date: Feb 2008

Posts: 59

See profile



Personally I just assume that we're non-exclusive until he mentions it. I know it's hard to do, but I find that most men don't like being pressured about exclusivity, and will often disappear if you start backing them into a corner. If he is genuinely interested in building a relationship with you BELIEVE ME he will not waste any time telling you to take your profile down!!!
- January 1st, 2009, 01:47 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#85   Reply With Quote

ADVERTISEMENT

timeless2 timeless2 is offline
timeless2's Avatar

timeless2 wants to know which hat to wear next?

Virtuoso

Join Date: Dec 2008

Posts: 3,359

See profile



You're right and sometimes they check to make sure that it is indeed an agreed exclusive relationship. Either that or they forgot they asked. Wonder what that means?
- January 1st, 2009, 02:13 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#86   Reply With Quote
VikingQuest VikingQuest is offline
VikingQuest's Avatar

VikingQuest is lost in thought in

Quick Study

Join Date: Aug 2008

Posts: 85

See profile

Bizzy Girl wrote :

Personally I just assume that we're non-exclusive until he mentions it. I know it's hard to do, but I find that most men don't like being pressured about exclusivity, and will often disappear if you start backing them into a corner. If he is genuinely interested in building a relationship with you BELIEVE ME he will not waste any time telling you to take your profile down!!!
Yea, that's true. You don't have to ask for exclusivity. As a guy, I don't want to be asked that. Leave your profile up - make a few changes now and then because EH sends litle notes out that you have updated your profile. If a guy is into you, he'll suggest that you both take your profiles down. If he doesn't, then asking for exclusivity will get you one of two answers - 'bye', or 'OK (which will not be genuiine/true'.
- January 1st, 2009, 04:57 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#87   Reply With Quote
SingleMNYC84 SingleMNYC84 is offline
SingleMNYC84's Avatar

Newbie

Join Date: Dec 2008

Posts: 43

See profile



Does anyone feel like it might be hard to truly get to know someone unless there was a level of exclusivity? I mean, I completely agree that there is absolutely a period during which both people should keep their options open. However, I think that many people wouldn't be able to let themselves open up enough if they didn't have more comfort that the other person wouldn't just up and leave. If a person has that level of comfort with another person that they really want to know the other than I would think that they would open up more. In this way, both people would have a better chance of truly getting to know the other.
- January 1st, 2009, 08:04 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#88   Reply With Quote
timeless2 timeless2 is offline
timeless2's Avatar

timeless2 wants to know which hat to wear next?

Virtuoso

Join Date: Dec 2008

Posts: 3,359

See profile



Imagine that.
- January 2nd, 2009, 09:09 am
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#89   Reply With Quote
gemini__79 gemini__79 is offline
gemini__79's Avatar

Join Date: Jul 2009

Posts: 1

See profile

Thanks to everyone on this board for the great recommendations! I am also in this predicament with someone who I've been seeing for about 2 months now. Thanks :-)
- July 3rd, 2009, 02:40 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#90   Reply With Quote

ADVERTISEMENT

Reply
Page 9 of 10 « First 7 8 9 10

Bookmarks

« Man-Boy? | Array | Friday Night Roll Call »
Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On

Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards

“Well, the bible does provide the solution that should a woman's hsuband die, then her brother in law must marry her. I can't recall if there is a qulification about whether they have children or not. ... ” – Fleuellen

Join the “Gods will and sex vs abstinence for older folks” discussion

“Don't worry, you'll get your chance! If you marry a family man and have children with him, by the time you are in your forties, you will have all of the power. The older you get the more power you ... ” – neardc

Join the “Men Have All the Power” discussion

“Hi madewar..I know exactly what you are writing about.Having been married and divorced in after 10 years, then married to a real 'soul partner' and and then widowed at 61, I have little or no desire ... ” – RoxyRedhead

Join the “Seniors have different needs” discussion

“I've cancelled my account. As of Dec 3 I will no longer be a paying member. I am fed up with my quality of matches. I know they don't go by appearance however I have been matched with what I would ... ” – melcalrrt

Join the “What am I doing wrong?” discussion

“I personally do not care about income and I have seriously dated many poor men. Just thinking people should have there ducks in a row by a certain age. I have been dumped because I am successful and ... ” – bigfincat

Join the “where men are financially now” discussion

“Right, nightling. It also can't be assumed that even if the information were "more" accurate, the expert would not have reached the same conclusion. It would seem that the attorney representing the ... ” – neardc

Join the “Defamation/Libel” discussion

“You're welcome. Suzie” – 1Horselady

Join the “Is it a Lie or Not?” discussion

“Good Luck, P Y! I'll keep my fingers crossed for you!” – empress_c

Join the “My match responded!!!” discussion



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 11:59 pm.

Discussion Boards Archive

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.1
Copyright ©2000 - 2009, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.3.0