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bettysue bettysue is offline
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texasgirl, wrote :
Does anyone else wrestle with this problem? How long do you wait before you bring up the topic of dating exclusively? I'm 46 so maybe it's different in the older age group. LOL Would love to hear some opinions on this especially from the guys. Thanks!
If you have to ask it's not time
- March 19th, 2008, 06:22 pm
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bettysue bettysue is offline
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texasgirl, wrote :
Does anyone else wrestle with this problem? How long do you wait before you bring up the topic of dating exclusively? I'm 46 so maybe it's different in the older age group. LOL Would love to hear some opinions on this especially from the guys. Thanks!
Seriously, if you have to ask it's not time
- March 19th, 2008, 06:25 pm
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D.S. D.S. is offline
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Call me old fashioned, but I don't want to end up with a string of sexual partners in my life trying to find"Mr. right", but that is exactly what people end up doing...... While most of us haven't been perfect...., I've seen what it does to people to have their heart broken many times, especially women......It shatters trust, and makes people bitter..... It really boils down to using people for our own purposes, and getting rid of them when they no longer suit our fancy... Not the way it was intended to be......
- March 19th, 2008, 07:42 pm
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I've enjoyed reading the posts for this discussion...Lots of depth and we are hearing from both of the sexes... men and women..... Awesome.....
- March 19th, 2008, 07:54 pm
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kathea7173 kathea7173 is offline
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Interesting discussion here. Lots of opinions and lots of good advice. I tend to go along with those who saythat it has to be talked about. While I'd like it if I could "just know", I don't have a great deal of faith that he would ALSO just know. I think there are too many wives, husbands, and lovers who thought they were in an exclusive relationship and found out that they were one of many. I've gone round and round with myself about the idea of dating more than one person at a time (especially considering the sex angle). While I don't consider sex a recreational activity and don't consider it an assumed part of dating, I also don't want to (at least yet) eliminate it from the realms of possibility. If you date more than one person at a time (even if dating does not include the possibilty of sex), you cannot concentrate and give a fair trial to any one of the 3--or so it seems to me. On the other hand, if you're dating one person at a time then that person has to either reveal themselves quickly or you have to be very patient and plan to take quite a long time to find "the one". So far I've been living with the "go out on friends-only dates with one at a time" idea. I may be too old to remember what sex *is* before I find "the one" who also believes I am "the one" and wants both exclusivity and a relationship.
- March 19th, 2008, 11:30 pm
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Oops not sure where I got that 3 number. Did someone mention 3 or was that just me picking random numbers?
- March 19th, 2008, 11:31 pm
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chefgirl13 chefgirl13 is offline
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movingalong wrote :
I wouldn't approach the topic until date 8 or date 9, maybe even date 10. By that time, you will have had a chance to really get to know that person. Plus, theroutine of making plans to be together is a nice launch pad to the "where do we stand" conversation. If you are making plans to be together for the 8th or 9th time,I say there's pretty solid chemisty going on -- enough to ask the other person where he sees the relationship going.
Yes, but on the guy side, please do not ask me to be physically intimate with you, or seduce me if you don't want to see me exclusively. i am a girl...a bit thick...and I think that you care for me and see a future developing. Dont use me or send mixed messages...or tell me early cute text flirty email that you intend to move the relationship along physically, but aren't sure about the rest...then I can make my own choices and responses.
- March 20th, 2008, 11:32 am
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haruo wrote :

Hi Cathy:

I feel that one at a time is best and also you won't be getting anyone mixed up with another. Dating exclusively is up to the couple involved. The couple should make it clear though when they are dating exclusively only and no one else. Insinuating exclusivity can be disaster. Good communication is important in an exclusive relationship. Cathy, try dating just one at a time, sometime too many choices is no good.



from Haruo
Thnaks for the help. I appericate yoru help and I agree with it.
- March 20th, 2008, 12:45 pm
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chuck_talk chuck_talk is offline
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being married once then dating again was hard. i did see that people are different back when i was married. i found out dating is more like a way to feel each other out, especially the first 5 dates. it seems when one or both ask to make time for each other in advance is a step closer to seehow there feelings are between them. At that time i feel is the best to ask each other what they look for in life or something that applies to dating and find out each others feelings on the subject. Then at that time you can decide if this is the person you would want to step closer too and makeeach otherexclusive for dating. If not be discrete and let that person know who had fun and rather be just friends, atleast you do not waiste each others time or go further into the relationshipunder fulse pretences.
- April 17th, 2008, 02:36 pm
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JaneDoe JaneDoe is offline
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Cathie wrote :
ftmyersgirl1981 wrote :

I think that it is up to the individual couple and how emotionally intimate they have become.. However if you have been dating for a while, and still are not exclusive... somethings up!

Communicating with your guy about this could be a good idea (if you have been dating for a while.) Ask him so that you cantry to see how he sees the relationship. Don't try to read his mind or interpret the signs it will only give you a headache.

Also be aware that some guys have issues with making that step to girlfriend/boyfriend status so be patient.

I agree with snowygirl. Hopefully you are "exclusive" before you start sleeping together. I have made that mistake before and all it leads to is problems.
I agree with your comment. It does depend on the couple. I'vwe been seeing this guy and he doesn't want me to talk to any other guy, but I don't think he's jealous, I think that he feels that he wants to date one woman at a time., And I agree with him.

I have tried talking to 3 men, at one time, on eHarmony, and it didn't work. I felt that I was leading them on even though I told the 3 of them that I'm talking to other 2men, I felt thatI was cheating them and myself. I feel that I need to concentrate on oneguy at a time. I also feel that I made the right choice.



I feel as long as the 2 of you are commited to each other than that's fine.






How can you be cheating on guys you have not even met? Just chatted with online?
- May 13th, 2008, 01:54 am
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