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startingfresh wrote :
Doesn't just happen naturally? My eharmony match and I have now beencommunicating fortwo months and seeing each other for five weeks. Just naturally, we recently both felt that we had met the right match and that it was time to cancel our subscriptions and focus on each other. He actually wrote the most beautiful letter to Eharmony thanking them forenabling us to find each other...
Be careful...... Five weeks is not long enough to know a person..... He could be a player. I learned the hard way after 5 months with someone..... he said all the right things and treated me like a queen. It was short lived...... take it slow. Best wishes to you. (Sincerely)
- March 12th, 2008, 05:40 pm
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SamIAm SamIAm is offline
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Pleased to find a discussion board on this topic. Does anyone have any input about how long to wait to have the exclusivity chat if it is a long-distance relationship (different states)? Thank you.
- March 12th, 2008, 10:00 pm
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After 3 to 5 months if you are not exclusive, end the relationship. Unless of course you are not looking for an exclusive relationship. And during that time, you know it doesn't have to be, for either one of you. And sleeping with him does not mean that he is going to regard you as "exclusive" because guy brains don't work that way. So don't DO THAT until you ARE!
- March 12th, 2008, 10:44 pm
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starkindler starkindler is offline
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How do you approach this "dating exclusively" if you are a few hundred miles from your match?
- March 12th, 2008, 11:06 pm
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To remain virgin or not is totally in girls hand.If they do not entertail boys who are inclined towards sex..no body in the world can force you...girls can use their brains better than men when it comes to sex...becoz boys will be boys and most of them do think about sex.$ex and$ex..so its the girls who can change the boys....and decide whether you wanna lead a dogs life....or a pure human being...
- March 13th, 2008, 12:14 am
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speaking_heart wrote :

To remain virgin or not is totally in girls hand.If they do not entertail boys who are inclined towards sex..no body in the world can force you...girls can use their brains better than men when it comes to sex...becoz boys will be boys and most of them do think about sex.$ex and$ex..so its the girls who can change the boys....and decide whether you wanna lead a dogs life....or a pure human being...

I disagree with you. I just think men are more verbal about how much they think about sex because it is more acceptable for a man to verbalize than a woman. I know women who are constantly obsessed with sex almost to the point of an addict. Also wants those desires enter a woman’s head for sex her desires go south also, not just men.

As far as “no one in the world can force you to have sex”, have you ever heard of date rape! Yes men and woman can be forced into having sex!

- March 13th, 2008, 04:13 pm
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maver wrote :
speaking_heart wrote :

To remain virgin or not is totally in girls hand.If they do not entertail boys who are inclined towards sex..no body in the world can force you...girls can use their brains better than men when it comes to sex...becoz boys will be boys and most of them do think about sex.$ex and$ex..so its the girls who can change the boys....and decide whether you wanna lead a dogs life....or a pure human being...

I disagree with you. I just think men are more verbal about how much they think about sex because it is more acceptable for a man to verbalize than a woman. I know women who are constantly obsessed with sex almost to the point of an addict. Also wants those desires enter a woman’s head for sex her desires go south also, not just men.

As far as “no one in the world can force you to have sex”, have you ever heard of date rape! Yes men and woman can be forced into having sex!

The message i wanna convey here is that....weare reaching a saturation point where girls and boys think that sex is just a game....you can play with n number of partners..but where are we heading towards?? are we animals? or dogs? having sexwith any one we feel emotionally attached? or feel sexy? are we not heading towards demise of chastity????
- March 14th, 2008, 01:34 am
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Great subject. We all speak from personal experience. Mine has run the gamut from just sort of falling into it to talking about it first.

I really think that you have to discuss exclusivity and just cannot assume it. Furthermore, you can not put an artificial timeline on it such as five dates or two months of dating. In my last serious relationship, I was with her seven months. She had just come out of a divorce and would not commit the entire time we were together. It was extremely frustrating to me and was why we broke up, but to her credit, she was just not ready to be in a committed relationship so soon after the demise of one. We were intimate and not sleeping with other people, but she just could not commit.

In another relationship which lasted three years, we were exclusive after the second date. Again, you cannot put a timeline on it and it obviously has to be mutual. I disagree with the statement that it is harder for men to commit. I have seen it the other way around.

For guys, exclusivity really means, is our partner having sex with other people. I cannot speak for what it means to women.

Regardless, of exclusivity, if you are having sex, you need to know if the other person is sleeping with other people.
- March 14th, 2008, 05:47 pm
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Excellent thread and one I have plenty of input on.

I've been divorced about a year and a half now. Despite my expectation at the time, I discovered very quickly that I'm just not capable of what many regard as casual dating around. I found that my brain isn't wired that way. I don't personally see anything wrong with going on first or even second dates as often as one is comfortable with. However, physicality is "The Line" for me. Once I've kissed a woman, thats when I stop looking for other dates until I have a scope on where things are going to go. (And my DNA just cannot take the idea of multiple lovers.) If it becomes clear we're not a good match, physicality stops and we move on.

As for actual sex, I'm somewhat old-school even though I'm 33. I'm not interested in multiple "partners". I don't regard sex as recreation or just an advanced stage of kissing.

I'm very much a one-woman man.
- March 14th, 2008, 07:25 pm
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Syd295 Syd295 is offline
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Women are not meat to be had. Women are meant to be loved. If one goes into a new relationship to get to truly know the female - she will sense and know this and will also try to truly get to know you - then without having to ask the relationship would move to the next stage because it would be what both of you would want.
- March 14th, 2008, 08:13 pm
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