Advice and Support from Thousands of Users Just Like You

Dating First-date jitters? Hoping for a second date? Moving on to a full blown relationship? Share your journey and advice here.

Reply
Page 2 of 10 1 2 3 4 Last »
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
fastcatkin fastcatkin is offline
fastcatkin's Avatar

Newbie

Join Date: Mar 2008

Posts: 6

See profile



As for the number of dates it takes, I think exclusivity is dependent upon each couple. For myself, I will date a partner for a while (no set dates) and see what develops between us. You will know if there is chemistry there or if there is something you want to pursue with the other person. Hopefully, you are talking openly and honestly with each other and the subject of where you are going together as a couple should be a topic that comes naturally. If either party is hesitant, talk it over and decide what the next step is in the relationship. One of you may be more ready to date exclusively than the other. Doesn't mean the relationship is not worth pursuing, it just means that maybe more time is needed for that person. I think you should definitely define what the relationship status is beforeintimacy is shared between you. If you are on different pages, then each partner has a chance to decide what is right for them as far as going forward in an intimate setting.
- March 6th, 2008, 12:53 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#11   Reply With Quote
goodreadTN goodreadTN is offline
goodreadTN's Avatar

Quick Study

Join Date: Dec 2007

Posts: 96

See profile

texasgirl, wrote :
Does anyone else wrestle with this problem? How long do you wait before you bring up the topic of dating exclusively? I'm 46 so maybe it's different in the older age group. LOL Would love to hear some opinions on this especially from the guys. Thanks!
I think after 4-5 dates, most people know if they want a relationship or just friendship. I'm old-school. I think you should be in one relationship at a time.You may not know if he's "THE ONE" after five dates, but you would certainly know if you're interested continuing the path. If you are going dowin the path with multiple partners, you're setting yourself up for multiple pain. Just learned this lesson myself recently.
- March 6th, 2008, 04:42 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#12   Reply With Quote
WriteAway WriteAway is offline
WriteAway's Avatar

Newbie

Join Date: Mar 2008

Posts: 2

See profile

I pondered that question myself and have to say that the conduct of the parties, doesn't automatically lead to a conclusion of exclusivity. I waited about three months to 'ask' though we seemed exclusive and he'd said things like he doesn't date multiple people (if that was true). Within two weeks of my asking or the "DTR" talk, he broke it off. I think my asking "what do you consider me?" forced him to take a look at how he was leading me on. I waited a while to ask since we are 38 and 45 and being a little older, I wasn't in a real hurry to have a commitment. It is awkward to ask but it's more awkward NOT to ask.. don't assume even if it feels and appears exclusive.
- March 6th, 2008, 09:15 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#13   Reply With Quote
haruo haruo is offline
haruo's Avatar

Quick Study

Join Date: Nov 2007

Posts: 238

See profile



Hi Cathy:

I feel that one at a time is best and also you won't be getting anyone mixed up with another. Dating exclusively is up to the couple involved. The couple should make it clear though when they are dating exclusively only and no one else. Insinuating exclusivity can be disaster. Good communication is important in an exclusive relationship. Cathy, try dating just one at a time, sometime too many choices is no good.



from Haruo
- March 6th, 2008, 10:21 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#14   Reply With Quote
datingin2008 datingin2008 is offline
datingin2008's Avatar

datingin2008 is happy.

Newbie

Join Date: Mar 2008

Posts: 12

See profile



I'm at a loss with the rules of exclusive dating. In my case it's the guy who wants to be exclusive, and as soon as I agree...he backs off. Is this about the chase or is it me?
- March 6th, 2008, 11:27 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#15   Reply With Quote

ADVERTISEMENT

billy_boy billy_boy is offline
billy_boy's Avatar

Newbie

Join Date: Mar 2008

Posts: 4

See profile

In your casew datingin2008 it seems like the guy or guys are not looking for the "one". I would still be a litte careful of the guys on here. Some of them are still here for the game anf not to find that special someone. But if you share that feeling when they ask go for it. The problem is not with you but with the man. Hang in there you will find the guy that won't back down soon enough
- March 7th, 2008, 10:47 am
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#16   Reply With Quote
beloved0000 beloved0000 is offline
beloved0000's Avatar

beloved0000 wants to be a rock star again

Pacesetter

Join Date: Nov 2007

Posts: 317

See profile

That's easy. I don't date. When a guy shows interest in me, I don't just start going out with him. Sex is not even an issue. Sex to me is so sacred. It's not a casual recreation, always added into the dating experience for me.

I've given it some hard thought, too. I've come to the conclusion I can't date. I can't and won't sleep around casually. As a result, you might have guessed it, I don't go out much.

The relationships I have had, I told them up front, I don't date. I'm a one-man woman looking for a one-woman man. No "waiting to see what's going to happen." I know what I want, and so does he. If the chemistry isn't there right off the bat, that's a dead ringer. It ain't happenin'.

I have found recently, after talking with a man at work that wanted to go out with me, that I'm much better off sticking to my guns, waiting for the man who isn't looking to date around. He's looking for a serious relationship, too, and he knows it. Not desparation, but because he knows what he's looking for.

This man that asked me out, actually respected my request. We're cool. Unfortutely, a not so lucky other woman at work who isn't able to define that in her life yet, has recently gotten involved with him. It's very apparent her feelings are not the same as his. You can see the pain on her face, wondering if she's going to be able to be the one to change him and change his mind because SHE loves him SO much...

So much heartache, for what? Physical assylum traded for love? Hoping for love coming thru the back door? It never worked then, it won't work now.

I'll wait, thank you, for a one-woman man from the get go.
- March 7th, 2008, 08:27 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#17   Reply With Quote
Pawleygirl Pawleygirl is offline
Pawleygirl's Avatar

Newbie

Join Date: Mar 2008

Posts: 1

See profile

snowygirl wrote :
texasgirl, wrote :
Does anyone else wrestle with this problem? How long do you wait before you bring up the topic of dating exclusively? I'm 46 so maybe it's different in the older age group. LOL Would love to hear some opinions on this especially from the guys. Thanks!
Hi there! This is just me, and what I would want in my situation. As soon as you sleep with them, I would hope that they would be exclusive with you.
Another option might be to decided you want to focus on each other BEFORE you start getting physically intimate.

I think after about 4 - 6 weeks of dating, you are either both going to feel that spark and want to take further, or not. I don't know--I've always just felt it and knew he felt it too.

One issue in my relationshps has been--even though I don't carelessly hop in the sack with someone--I tend to want that physical intimacy too soon (and not many men will suggest it would be a good idea to wait). Then after a few months, if things are not moving in a healthy direction, it is much harder to detach from someone you've been having sex with.
- March 7th, 2008, 09:38 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#18   Reply With Quote
datingin2008 datingin2008 is offline
datingin2008's Avatar

datingin2008 is happy.

Newbie

Join Date: Mar 2008

Posts: 12

See profile

billy_boy wrote :
In your casew datingin2008 it seems like the guy or guys are not looking for the "one". I would still be a litte careful of the guys on here. Some of them are still here for the game anf not to find that special someone. But if you share that feeling when they ask go for it. The problem is not with you but with the man. Hang in there you will find the guy that won't back down soon enough
Huh. Thanks billy_boy, I can't say I've looked at it that way. I guess I'll just try and keep things moving slower. Thanks for the input!
- March 8th, 2008, 12:50 am
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#19   Reply With Quote
californiafeline californiafeline is offline
californiafeline's Avatar

Newbie

Join Date: Mar 2008

Posts: 4

See profile

texasgirl, wrote :
Does anyone else wrestle with this problem? How long do you wait before you bring up the topic of dating exclusively? I'm 46 so maybe it's different in the older age group. LOL Would love to hear some opinions on this especially from the guys. Thanks!
What is the problem? If you both like each other enough that you decide you want to just focus on each other and not date others, the dating exclusively is mutual and usually brought up together. Sounds like you're moving way too fast to even have to ask this question. Either two people WANT to be together exclusively or they don't!
- March 8th, 2008, 06:41 am
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#20   Reply With Quote

ADVERTISEMENT

Reply
Page 2 of 10 1 2 3 4 Last »

Bookmarks

« Man-Boy? | Array | Friday Night Roll Call »
Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On

Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards

“I will be doing homework I chose to ignore last night. I think I have three exams next week. Why do professors always cram them together?” – Can_I_just_be_Jo

Join the “Saturday Night Plans...” discussion

“ It sounds like you're doing great! ” – neardc

Join the “Five Myths of Divorce, CS, and Custody in the USA” discussion

“ I like the first half of the reply ” – Mokkesofie

Join the “Proper Etiquette” discussion

“ellie, most of your matches are inactive. Either they never paid up, or they are former members who no longer access the site. They will never view you and will never respond to any communication. ... ” – melman

Join the “Confused by closed connections” discussion

“(Tone = honest) I have not posted any photographs and I am not ugly, according to any feedback I have ever "gotten" from "anyone" at "anytime". Women, in particuliar, are somewhat "hesitant" in ... ” – melman

Join the “First Questions / "Nervous" question / No pictures” discussion

“Points 1, 3, 4, and 6 shouldn't be too hard find at that age range. 5 and 7 are potential deal breakers. It can and will limit your choices. Choice 3? Seriously? Is it absolutely necessary that ... ” – kneo24

Join the “Is there really half a cookie out there” discussion

“If I say--truthfully--what I do, it might start a riot. Trouble is, it works; ie it turns women on incredibly. Well, it's not "trouble" for me, but it would cause some. **LOL**” – TheyCallMePervert_n9

Join the “The Three Cs of Great Sex ” discussion

“The P.O. is not dead. I believe it is currently on Life Support. I believe the prognosis is good.” – jsbach

Join the “do you believe in the resurrection of the dead?” discussion



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 03:49 pm.

Discussion Boards Archive

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.1
Copyright ©2000 - 2009, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.3.0