Matches who still live with there parents


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neardc is offline neardc Post #81  January 1,2010, 11:43pm
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DanielJr82 wrote :
Yes! Thank you, exactly what I was going to write.

My situation is that both of my parents are unemployed... my brothers, sister, and I are a primary source of income. Yes, all 4 of us live at home. We're a Hispanic family, typically we move out when we either A) Get a job that's very far or B) Get married. Or both.

So to all of you fine "independent" people out there... God bless and I hope you find Mr. or Mrs. Independent.
There are indeed cultural differences with respect to what is typical, so that's another factor to consider (neither Spectre or Careless-Memories mentioned this as a factor in their situations, though). Hispanics are not the only ethnic/cultural group, of course, for which the norm is for young people to remain at home for longer periods of time...(Americans may actually be in the minority across world cultures in pushing kids out of the nest...lol)

(As an aside, I just want to note that this a very old thread and the last response before it was revived was a year and a half ago. Most of the earlier respondents are no longer visiting the site, so won't see new responses, and most of those who are still here probably don't remember what they posted if they even remember that they responded at all...lol)
 
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DanielJr82 is offline DanielJr82 Post #82  January 1,2010, 11:49pm
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Oh... lol... just noticed how old it is. Sorry for bumping an old thread. :P
 
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CAnative is offline CAnative Post #83  January 2,2010, 2:02am
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I would definately proceed with caution. At 35 without the main reasons of sick parent, divorce/ kids or recent job loss it is a little odd. As someone did mention there are always the exceptions. At 48 I am meeting quite a few men who either have a parent or a child sometimes with kids living with them. In these cases I always ask alot of questions regarding the situation.
 
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Fleuellen is offline Fleuellen Post #84  January 2,2010, 2:38am
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alexsmom0501 wrote :
How do you guys feel about matches who live with thier parents? I just had a match that I liked but I can't get past the fact that he lives with his parents. He is 35 never married and never had any children. I can understand staying with family in the case of divorce, being a single parent, job loss or illness. But this guy has none of those. Am I being shallow or would this bother you?
well, it would give an interesting twist to your place or mine? Does he have a curfew, allowance ...

Mind you my ucles were still at home to their 50s (when my grandparents died) and my "spiniste sister is still at home (42) ... but she doesn't have relationships.
 
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peppermint21 is offline peppermint21 Post #85  January 2,2010, 9:53am
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DanielJr82 wrote :
Oh... lol... just noticed how old it is. Sorry for bumping an old thread. :P
I don't think there's any reason to apologize for digging this thread up. It's especially important considering some changes that have happened in the US economy. Bachelors degrees don't go as far as they used to, layoffs are rampant, rent may or may not make financial sense if you have a long term persepctive on retirement and saving and home buying on two incomes, let alone one, is difficult (still fighting that one myself). In my part of the country (South Florida) even rent is high compared to incomes.

I think we're all going to have to rethink how we define "maturity".

It's easy to equate independance with maturity and it is a good general indicator, but living alone can also be a symptom of the inability to form healthy bonds. The modern American way of life is relatively new and unseen in history and we're probably going to be seeing a whole new list of issues cropping up out of it...many of those, I think, stemming the human separation that our society encourages.

Just like anything else, you have to look at the idnividual, the reason for their personal choices and how the effect of those choices will weigh on you.
 
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stevex is offline stevex Post #86  January 2,2010, 11:36am
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I could have sworn that I had chimed in on this before, and maybe I missed myself when I went through the 9 pages.

The OP posed the question of a 35 year old guy living at home. Now lets assume I met a 35 year old woman who was living with her parents, she was never married, had no kids, and was helping her parents out and was saving money ti wouldn't be a total turn off. There are any number of reasons why someone might choose to stay at home. For me, I moved out when I was 18 years old (almost 19) but to be entirely honest if I could go back in time and do it over again I would have stayed at home for another year or so. I mean I was paying rent to my parents and the only reason I moved out was because I wanted total independence (something I would be more willing to give up now if I was 18 again and didn't have the financial resources to be on my own -- I mean I worked two jobs but after rent and the car and such were paid I couldn't save anything, long story there but I wasn't wise in my choices).

My girlfriend is 19 and lives at home, I do not see this as a bad thing. I have a roommate now so I am not entirely on my own anymore either. It all depends on the situation. Though I even told my girlfriend that if she was smart she would live at home until she was done with college. I have a friend who is a student who is 22 and lives with his parents, he is the only child and is rarely home between school and work, no reason for him to get his own place now.

35 might be stretching it, but like I said depending on the circumstances I wouldn't be bothered at all. Unless she just didn't work and was living off her parents and then I would be worried that her goal was to live off me and I would be turned off by that.
 
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happyangel is offline happyangel Post #87  February 1,2010, 4:08am
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Dear All,

I am facing the same problem. I met a guy (58) just a week ago. He is just a good match. He's educated and a nice gentleman and has a good job. He's a single dad and took care of three kids (I am a single mom took care of my 2 kids). I really think that we have potential to continue. We sent emails to each other everyday for the past week. I am so happy to talk to him by phones and by emails. But I just found out that he is living with his mom for more or less 20 years after his father's death. He's a single dad and took care of three kids with the help of his mom in the past.

All his kids and my kids are not the problem for us because they are adults. The problem is that he insisted to live with his mom. But I don't know whether I should continue or not. His mom is 85 years. As he mentioned she is healthy. But I have a terrible experience, my mom had serious kidney's problem. She died a few years ago. I was really exhausted for the last few years before she died.

I don't want to stop the communication with him. I don't mind if he pay visit to see his mom every weekend or rent a place for his mom to live nearby. But I really want to have a partner that we can enjoy our private time alone. If we married later, that means we need to stay with his mom all the times. We will have breakfast, lunch and dinner with his mom, and spend time with his mom everyday and night...... and later if she had healthy problem, I need to take care of her......

I did ask him if he insisted to live with his mother, but if later when his mother got sick, will he willing to send her to elderly centre or hire a 24- hour nurse to take care of her? But he didn't answer my email. He didn't call me for two days.

I really don't know what to do now and cannot make my decison. Should I call him or send email to him?
Last edited by happyangel; February 1,2010 at 4:23am.
 
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