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dlc872 dlc872 is offline
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dr1619 wrote :

dlc872 wrote :


Digital wrote :


dlc872 wrote :


so I may as well admit that there is no chemistry before they close me with the "other" or "no chem" which they almost certainly will before I even make contact.


But you don't KNOW. Do you? Seems to me like you are trying to spare your own feelings (when they shouldn't even get hurt to begin with).


The BEST part of dating is the parts where you DON'T KNOW what will happen. Where you put your best foot forward and hope for the best. Out of yourself, and your date. But that's just me looking through my "Glass Half-Full" lense.


I suppose you are right. I'm just a bit frustrated (in many ways) at the moment. But I do know from experience that the really attractive women do have better options available so they generally aren't going to bother with the likes of a guy like me. That's just a fact.


HOwever, the one I did go out with last week just about fell into that category but I made an effort anyway and it ended up with a lot of nice emails, phone calls, and eventually a couple of dates and a little passionate kissing. Unfortunately she decided that the chemistry wasn't there for her ultimately. Perhaps if I wasn't so caught off guard when she kissed me the first time I might have knocked her socks off more...


But regardless, as a general rule I don't find the ones who are extremely hot all that attractive beyond a visual sense and I know for a fact that 99.9% of the time I'm just wasting my time with them. And yes, after 4 years of EH, over 2000 plus matches, I've only had dates with 3 women, two of whom I didn't have an interest in dating again. It gets ridiculous after a while. Someone out there has to be interested in me, I do have a lot to offer.


But this:





"5) Sometimes if she's too attractive. See 4) above, it falls into the same thing. Most of the time the knockouts are going to close me anyway so if it looks like she's a combination of model looks and super high class lifestyle why should I bother. In fact, I will often close them with a "No Chemistry" and/or "Based on Statements". It's refreshing sometimes to give them some of their own medicine because a lot of that kind of woman expects to be the one closing the guy and I think it drives them nuts to be closed especially by an unattractive looking guy like me because I've found that a lot of these women look at guys like me as someone who should be worshipping them but who are unworthy to be in their presence."





is just plain mean, and you're doing it purposely. Ah well, what goes around, comes around.
Point taken, it is probably not healthy that I've occassionally taken a small perverse pleasure in closing out the most attractive ones because of my own frustration with the process. I'm not generally a mean person, but it is true that there is likely no chemistry with one of those or the "based on statements" is appropriate if they indicate looking for a guy who's essentially a sugar daddy, which I've seen a bunch of.


Sorry if I come across as a jerk, I'm just in a mood about all of this and sick of putting myself out there over and over again to no avail except rejection.
- July 21st, 2008, 03:32 pm
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HoneyBee13 HoneyBee13 is offline
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The reasons I close:
  1. No picture or odd pictures (seriously I had a match where he took a picture with his favorite puppet. Too freaky for me!)
  2. Misspellings
  3. Overly religious
  4. "Too good to be true".This is hard to define, but I had the unfortunate luck of almost being scammed by someone that I thought I got along with really well and had lots in common with.Now I am just a bit jaded/guarded.
  5. Never responded to me. I will give someone 10 days.They could be out of town or busy, etc.


I realize that I have probably closed some matches where the guy was nice and someone worth getting to know. But.....
- July 21st, 2008, 03:57 pm
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cynamon68 cynamon68 is offline
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cynamon68 is still with her guy. I love him so much!

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Most of the time I close matches due to the distance factor. Sometimes it is the age factor. I am 40, but I'm not ready to settle into retirement yet. I closed one guy because in his section on people who have impacted his life; he stated that he had many female friends that had meant a lot to him and had greatly impacted his life.....that was a definite NO!
- July 21st, 2008, 04:00 pm
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Digital Digital is offline
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curiousme5 wrote :

The27thS wrote :


I close matches that have no picture, no profile, are significantly over weight, are too objectively attractive, or are too far away.


You close people for being too attractive????
Yeah. My "WTF Radar" went off as well.
- July 21st, 2008, 04:05 pm
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The27thS The27thS is offline
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curiousme5 wrote :

The27thS wrote :


I close matches that have no picture, no profile, are significantly over weight, are too objectively attractive, or are too far away.


You close people for being too attractive????
Would you honestly want to be in a relationship with someone who was significantly more attractive than you? It would feel as if they were doing you a favor or something. Everywhere you go it would be "how did someone so attractive end up with that person?" Plus the fact my subjective ideas of attraction are slightly different from societies.
- July 21st, 2008, 06:19 pm
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