Careers and future children


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Red Sox Girl is offline Red Sox Girl Post #91  July 23,2008, 5:58am

It's almost time folks.....

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I'm on the same fence as LawyerGirl - I think I'm more of a "maybe" in reality - kids would be great if the situation was right (ie/ if I was married) but at the moment if I don't have kids I don't think I'll be too dejected. It'll likely depend on my husband - if he ever gets here! If I was with someone who was very keen on kids, I'd go for it. If he wasn't bothered,I doubt I would be. And #3 would be the only option for me too - I'd have to be able to continue working, I'd go stir crazy at home all day watching Spongebob Squarepants. At 39 it'd all have to happen pretty quickly though.


Any takers? [img]library/editor/plugins/emotions/img/smiley-wink.gif[/img] We can talk about it over a beer or three.
 
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hotromantic is offline hotromantic Post #92  July 23,2008, 6:09am
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honey28,183359 wrote :

jayjay,181240 wrote :


honey28,181170 wrote :


Hmmm...No offense, but after reading this entire thread I feel so fortunate that I di the "get married/have children" mambo in my 20's.....got divorced in my mid-30's....then pursued my education and career.


I wish you all well....and will keep reading because the comments here help me to understand why my younger sisters chose career over getting married and having children...and why my 27y/o daughter says she doesn't want to have children evenafter she is married next year.


I guess I have finally graduated to the title of "old school' in my 40's.....agh!!!!!!! Very insightful, indeed!


Thanks for the well wishes. How do you mean the experience of yourself and your sisters is related toasking matches about "gender roles" and howthis questioncan be misinterpreted? Thanks.


Great question!


This thread started with a discussion as to how women will balance career and future children. I don't have to worry about that because I've already had my children in my 20's and my career as a educator/researcher/writer is coming along very well. NowI can just sit back and enjoy my life...with no pressure on me to get married (before my biological clock expires), and I don't want to have more children.


All of my friends that put career before getting married and having children are all scrambling in their mid to late-40's to make up for lost time, and frantically trying to 'find' a husband. I have 5 sisters, younger than me, who have never been married, have no children, and make excellent salaries; butare now lamenting the fact that they have no children and are stll unmarried. My daughter is getting married next year and has no children, nor does she want children in the future, because she sees having chilfdren as a deterrent to her furthering her nursing career. She plans to enter college this September to begin courses as a Nurse Practioner.


I think the entire discussion is unfair to women. Unmarried menin their late 40's to mid-50's, who do not have children, never seem to be asked how they will juggle their job and children.Reading the posts on this thread just make me feel self-satisfied that I am never asked these questions, because with my hot latina temper, I might just punch the first man that asked me this ridiculous question square in his mouth...adios mio! I feel for my gender, and it is questions like this that lets me know that women may be in the boardroom...but are still judged harshly for seeking to work like a man and havea familywhile working.


*sorry....stepping off my soapbox now...ever so gingerly* [img]library/editor/plugins/emotions/img/smiley-cool.gif[/img]

But......let's flip that equation, for men we do have other stipulations if we continue to stay single.





#1 if we are single and continue to be us men we are either-


a. Players/noncommital types


b. Gay


c. Seriously messed up





Why does it have to be that way? Why can't it be that I put my career and other things first and if that woman comes around great but I won't really spend a lot of time out there looking for her??


Why doI have to be in those categories? Why do I have to be a player? I cannot stand players, cheaters etc, but this is what I am because I dont care about finding someone???


Why can't it be I am ambitious, determined to get what I want, and prefer not to let anyone come in between that.





People ask me if I'm gonna get married and I tell them talk to me in five years..I still have about 4-5 more degrees to get and more money to make.
 
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