dreamingofnorthcali is offline dreamingofnorthcali Post #1  January 29,2008, 9:24am
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I have met a seemingly wonderful guy on EH and he has asked me out for a date. We've emailed for several weeks, have a great connection and share many of the same interests. The downfall to all of this is that I'm getting a vibe that he is TOO eager. I know this brings up the classic nice guys vs. bad boys argument that so many of us gals find ourselves in, but I feel like he's being "emotionally slutty". We haven't even met yet and he's already talking about how portable his job is and that he could easily move to my town (SCARY). I guess I am used to emotionally distant guys and while I want someone who can express how they are feeling, his statements have scared me to death. Should I confront him on this issue or should I just wait for our meeting and see how it goes? HELP!
 
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railfan1_007 is offline railfan1_007 Post #2  January 29,2008, 4:27pm
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Sounds like This guy is a bit eager to jump in, or in my language-pounce. I am a Leo, but I would not jump right away. What you need to do is verify his intentions. Figure out if he wants something long term, or just a one night stand. If it is a one night stand, kick him to the curb, but if it is something long term, then go for it.
 
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railfan1_007 is offline railfan1_007 Post #3  January 29,2008, 4:29pm
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Oh I did forget to say that I am a really nice guy, and one of the very few out there that will not stray. There are not many like me out there in this world, so pounce while you can.
 
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beerchick is offline beerchick Post #4  January 29,2008, 6:56pm
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I have recently experienced this. Being someone who has an unhealthy affinity to emotionally distant "bad boys", I decided to just be receptive and go with it.Be careful. It blew up in my face. "Emotional sluttiness" is a good way to put it. His freaked me out and I tried to ignore it. Then I finally said something...told him I was afraid he was more interested in a relationship thana relationship with ME. He took it all the wrong way and things went downhill from there. We're not dating anymore, needless to say. However, I genuinely believe, had he been able to handle the feedback better and/or had we taken things slower, things may have worked out.

Butyou know what they say..."everything happens for a reason."

Just do not ignore your own feelings, hesitency and observations.
 
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smylex is offline smylex Post #5  January 30,2008, 3:38pm
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Women often say they want a nice guy. However, what's on the shopping list is not what is in the shopping cart when they come out of the store. This is why I ceased being a nice guy - I was tired of being walked on and being overlooked by you girls.
 
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MW77009 is offline MW77009 Post #6  January 30,2008, 4:22pm
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This guy sounds a little too eager. However, it is important to remember that it is easy to get the wrong impression on the internet when all you have to go on is a communication bereft of the nonverbals. Go out on a first date. Limit it to coffee/drink. See what happens. At worst it could be good for a few laughs. At best it could be OK. As an aside, I always love this nice guy/bad boy dichotomy. There are nice guys and bad boys out there. I suspect the majority fall somewhere in the middle. I think some guys also behave like nice guys because we are told by the feminazis that women like a nice sensitive new age guy. Also, the media perpetuates all sorts of bad stereotypes of men as being door mats (King of Queens/Everybody Loves Raymond) or big slobs (two and a half men). Experience tells me that women like real men. Not hypermasculine macho men, but men who have a life, who have goals, who can make them feel safe and who are accessable. To be that kind of a guy would almost for sure mean that you are not either a bad boy or a nice guy.

 
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ATL_guy411 is offline ATL_guy411 Post #7  January 31,2008, 9:17am
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There are people on both ends of the spectrum, and women who love them. Too much "nice guy" and you are too easy to catch, and become a door mat: you are boring and - worse, not worthy of her respect. Too much "bad boy" in the mix and you will onlyattract women who have serious problems with real intimacy andsustaining a real LTR.

So like everything in life, you have to find your balance. Be assertive and have an edge, but make sureshe knows that when the"rubber meets the road" you are a guy she can depend on to protect her and keep her safe -mentally, physically and emotionally.

All things in balance... :-)
 
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Abashment is offline Abashment Post #8  January 31,2008, 10:15am
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I dislike that kindness is associated with weakness, and cruelty is associated with strength.

A man can be nice and strong willed.
 
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foxxy is offline foxxy Post #9  January 31,2008, 11:53am
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ATL_guy411,54583 wrote :

There are people on both ends of the spectrum, and women who love them. Too much "nice guy" and you are too easy to catch, and become a door mat: you are boring and - worse, not worthy of her respect. Too much "bad boy" in the mix and you will onlyattract women who have serious problems with real intimacy andsustaining a real LTR.

So like everything in life, you have to find your balance. Be assertive and have an edge, but make sureshe knows that when the"rubber meets the road" you are a guy she can depend on to protect her and keep her safe -mentally, physically and emotionally.

All things in balance... :-)
You got it right ATL, when the rubber meets the road, you gotta be there. Assertive is very attractive. Vancouver, B.C.
 
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TJ4u is offline TJ4u Post #10  January 31,2008, 12:52pm
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i dont like fast moving ppls either...





i also dont think kindness is weakness... i crave a kind, sincere man who is strong minded and physically strong as well
 
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