In communication with a "picture-less" match...a test case


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MPdoc68 is offline MPdoc68 Post #171  July 19,2008, 5:06pm
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curiousme5,178049 wrote :

MPdoc68,178016 wrote :


Thanks, everyone...I leave this (now completely off-topic) thread to all of you...flirt away............


Good God! That was not a threadjack and hardly a flirt! My 2 cents
Not a dig...do whatever you want! Have fun! I just don't know what else there is to say about the original topic--if anyone does, I'm all ears...[img]library/editor/plugins/emotions/img/smiley-smile.gif[/img]
 
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dr1619 is offline dr1619 Post #172  July 19,2008, 5:12pm
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MP, do you like her enough to try another quick call? Maybe she was nervous and/or someone else could overhear her.
 
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MPdoc68 is offline MPdoc68 Post #173  July 20,2008, 12:48am
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dr1619,178072 wrote :

MP, do you like her enough to try another quick call? Maybe she was nervous and/or someone else could overhear her.
Dunno...think I should?
 
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Jurell is offline Jurell Post #174  July 20,2008, 2:01am
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MP why not? You have nothing to loose and everything to gain
 
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LawyerDan is offline LawyerDan Post #175  July 20,2008, 4:02am
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MPdoc68,178651 wrote :

dr1619,178072 wrote :


MP, do you like her enough to try another quick call? Maybe she was nervous and/or someone else could overhear her.


Dunno...think I should?
Yes you should. The board needs a return on our investment.
 
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Marisol is offline Marisol Post #176  July 20,2008, 4:53am
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Doc - I have a similarthough less tension-filled story,and am similarly wondering what's drawing me to this person. My first impression of him was"No Photo" and a half-a$$ed profile. No impression, in other words, so I closed the match. The next day he asked to be re-opened, the only match to everdo so.Hmm...points for chutzpah.Deserving of a second chance? Why not?


However, during the first Q & A, I checked the open-ended answer to the lastquestion to tell him I needed apic before exchanging MH/CS's. Next day I got a nudge that he'd posted one, and to my relief he was a reasonably nice-looking guy. (I have a thing for men's shirts and his was a nice, crisp-looking dark blue button down, not that that should matter, of course;-).


I also like to get out ofOC as quickly as possible, so my first message was to suggest we exchange personal email addresses and phone #s, and I volunteered mine first.


Our first phone conversationwould have been a total snoozer if I hadn'tconducted enough torturous interviews as a journalist to know withinthe two minutes not to ask this guy yes/no or personal questions. Instead, I went straight to sports."How about themCats?" "So, Stoops, whadya think?" "And what the heck's going on withLute?" If he didn't know, I briefed himand asked for an opinion. It was like giving conversational CPR. "Breathe, damn it!"


When he finally responded, and then asked me to dinner, I didn't hesitate. I said "Yes, I'd love to". By then I kinda liked him.A guywith the chutzpah not to take an outright rejection lying down had to have some life in him. And I was pretty sure he was safe, not the headline-making, "He was always kinda quiet and kept to himself" type.


As it's turned out over the course of regular phone calls and several dates, he's a man of few words until he warms up to ya. Then he talks. Yet I don't see a future in it,the way I do with a few other men, so I've had to wonder what the attraction is.


He has a full life andhe is bright,disarmingly funny,and very nice. But I thinkit's that there's something poignant about him that tugs at my heart-strings. I'vebeen reminded of the old John Wayne-Maureen O'Hara movie,"The Quiet Man". Not that he's another JW but that he has some of "Sean Thornton's" sensibilities.


Anyway, Doc, if there's anything compelling about this woman, it might be worth your while to ask her out. Perhaps meeting in asoothing,low-stress but interesting environment will draw her out a bit. Being around animals can have that effect. A morningat the Phoenix Zoo? Gets damn hot by Noon. Your out if you need one. [img]library/editor/plugins/emotions/img/smiley-innocent.gif[/img]
 
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NinaSingle is offline NinaSingle Post #177  July 20,2008, 6:18am
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MPdoc68,178016 wrote :

Thanks, everyone...I leave this (now completely off-topic) thread to all of you...flirt away............
Doc, you seem on the fence and only a date with this woman will bring this to conclusion. Go on a date and close your “case-study”. Will be here to cheer you up or console you whatever be the case.
 
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MW77009 is offline MW77009 Post #178  July 20,2008, 10:33am
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MPdoc68,177872 wrote :

LawyerDan,177857 wrote :


MP do not cop out now. you owe it to us to continue with the experiment. We have stuck with you for 12 pages and we are with you through the end, do not let us down. Go on the date, its for the greater good. We are all learning from this experience.


Dan:


LOL! I know doctors and lawyers often butt heads but you really want to put me through the ringer, don't you? [img]library/editor/plugins/emotions/img/smiley-wink.gif[/img]


Yeah, I am curious in a peverse way to meet this person...need a date scenario where i do not have to talk to her! LOL
The rifle range.
 
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MW77009 is offline MW77009 Post #179  July 20,2008, 10:35am
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MPdoc68,178016 wrote :

Thanks, everyone...I leave this (now completely off-topic) thread to all of you...flirt away............
Some people do not do the phone so well. You may want to give it a shot in person. 30 minute coffee date.
 
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javajava5 is offline javajava5 Post #180  July 20,2008, 10:38am
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Dear Dr. MPDoc68,


Coming late to this thread and though I did read many pages, not all as is my norm! Well, the ball is now clearly in your court with her revealing her photos!


My thoughts? You seem to have different styles about things . . . . You're a guy who seems to like to get to the bottom line quickly (nothing wrong with that whatsoever) and she's a girl who's more cautious (it seems) and warms up much slower to people and situations (apparently) than you do. Now it could be a good match in that you might balance each other out in complimentary ways or it could be an extremely painful match.


I'm not certain if you still really have enough information yet on which to base a solid decision. When I read about your conversation, the pain reverberated within me and I knew exactly what you were talking about. . . . Taking the higher road, it probably was just aspainful, if not more so, for her as she's not good at "cold" conversations with a person she doesn't know. Maybe she's better with people she does know - again, just enough is not known.


Several thoughts came to mind. One is: You could write her, thank her for posting photos, and ask her assessment of how she thinks your first phone conversation went! It's sometimes a good idea to get the other person's take on things and see how she viewed it!


Of course, you could always close the match based on the one unsatisfactory conversation and other things that irked you such as not leaving a message (I find some do and some don't and try not to think anything about it).


You could write her kindly and say how you realize how awkward first conversations can sometimes be, ask her her assessment of it, and then go further and write that if you all were to go on a date, you'd like some ideas from her of things you all might like to talk about as you felt the last conversation was something like "20 Questions," and that made you feel uncomfortable as you felt you were doing most of the "volleying," of the conversation. There's nothing wrong with being honest in a kind way and soliticitingher input and ideas on it.


Ultimately, as you know, the choice of what you will do is yours, but you're a curious kind of guy who does like to know things, and since things have been going in all sorts of unexpected ways with her, it is outside your usual norm and is a bit of an adventure and mystery - that is if you can stand some bumps, dips, and surprises along the way.


I endured a very painful two-hour date with a gentleman a couple months ago but really did seek to make the best of things and did learn a few interesting tid-bits. People usually always have good points too, and even though you may realize upon meeting, like I did, that this is not going to work out, it doesn't preclude you from learning and finding something good about the other. When I found myself in that situation, I just relaxed and went with the flow - it made it so much more enjoyable.


By the way, don't fill every silence with talk. Be quiet, too, and let it go to the point of awkwardness and see what her threshold point is before she has to say something. Hopefully, the whole time will not be spent in silence, but there is that saying: "Silence is golden!" It would be interesting to see which of you could keep silent longest in person!!! (Oh dear, my sense of humor is getting carried away I see! Forgive me please!).


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