Who "communicates" or initiates contact first?


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sn04 is offline sn04 Post #1  July 10,2008, 9:23am
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I'm curious about what other eHarmony subscribers think and have done in the eHarmony world. What do guys think when the woman "communicates" first? Gals, do you feel you should not communicate first, that you should sit back and let the guys initiate the contact?
 
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HurrMark is offline HurrMark Post #2  July 10,2008, 9:28am
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Most of the time, I initiate communication, but sometimes it's the woman. I don't think too much of it...it's hard to judge the level of interest simply by clicking a mouse a couple of times.
 
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pkren35 is offline pkren35 Post #3  July 10,2008, 9:29am
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I don't typically initiate contact unless someone REALLY jumps out at me...but that hasn't happened yet. My matches lately have been less than appealing...


I would though, if someone really caught my eye and made me want to get to know more about him....
 
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DBX is offline DBX Post #4  July 10,2008, 9:30am

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Whomever get's there 1st....wins....
 
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Red Sox Girl is offline Red Sox Girl Post #5  July 10,2008, 9:37am

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I've initiated communication about 3times, but I must admit it's mostly the guys who communicate with me first. I don't mind being the first to do so though & none of the guys seemed botheredby me doing so.
 
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Lace23 is offline Lace23 Post #6  July 10,2008, 9:47am
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I initiate if someone jumps out at me, otherwise I let it sit. I'll be honest though and admit I dont have a lot of matches initiating communication at this point. It's a little distressing.
 
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MPdoc68 is offline MPdoc68 Post #7  July 10,2008, 11:08am
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It doesn't matter! Someone has to just do it...


Usually, this still falls to the guy 90% of the time but ,Ladies, if you see something that interests you, then DO IT without over-thinking it.


If the other party is not interested, they will close you and the fact that he or she initiated doesn't matter and had no bearing on the subsequent events. (in other words, your 'initiation' is NOT what made them not have interest)


If the other party is interested, they will appreciate your openness in initiating--confidence and decisiveness are VERY attractive qualities in either gender.
 
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Squire is offline Squire Post #8  July 10,2008, 1:56pm
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Did you mean who is supposed to initiate first, or who actually does initiate first?


I've found initiation on E-H is about the same as real life. As an experiment, I let a month go by where I waited to see how many women would initiate with me. After thirty days and about thirty matches, the answer was.....One. I was only closed a handful of times, which indicated to me that they weren't necessarily uninterested, they just didn't care to make the first move.


Needless to say, it taught me that, like in real life, the onus was on guys to do the initiating. I don't mind, seeing as we're reared on rejection practically from birth [img]library/editor/plugins/emotions/img/smiley-laughing.gif[/img] But I'll admit, I was hoping women might shed their shell and become more adventurous online.
 
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LawyerDan is offline LawyerDan Post #9  July 10,2008, 2:01pm
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I usually intitiate contact but it is only because I wake up before most and check out my matches.


With that said why wait. Woman who wait for a man limits themselve to only those men that pick them initially. Why not widen your options by picking whomever you want instead of waiting for the men choose your dating pool?
 
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DennisWisconsin is offline DennisWisconsin Post #10  July 10,2008, 2:07pm
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I have no problem with women initiating contact. I would welcome it more often.


Would you want to date someone who was so old fashioned that he did have a problem with it?


Dennis
 
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