hazmat is offline hazmat Post #11  July 7,2008, 1:59pm
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I'm just pissed that it takes so long to access my pm's...grrr. [img]library/editor/plugins/emotions/img/smiley-undecided.gif[/img]
 
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pkren35 is offline pkren35 Post #12  July 7,2008, 2:08pm
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JEG,162584 wrote :

goldengirl7676, wrote :





And what's up with the guys who don't fill out their entire profile and give short, nondescript answers, usually with no photo attached? eH seems to be sending me a lot of those lately and I close all of them out because these guys put no thought into their profiles and do not give me any sort of info about themselves. And Idon't likewhen the guyspost fuzzy, faraway photos where you can't even make out which person they are. Or the ones where some girl has obviously been chopped out of the photo. I also don't care for bad web-cam photos or those up-against-the-bathroom-wall self-portraits. Shirtless photos are a major turnoff, too.





Well, I will have to say that the women I have made it to the first date stage with all commented to me how surprised/impressed they were at how muchI wrote in my responses to them. So, any other men listening, it's worth the effort...








And, yeah, the whole photo thing irks me to the max. An upscale matchmaker service should require a minimum of quality photos in every profile before ever matching it to someone. But, expensive and quality are not the same...
JEG, I agree....we're paying good money...but you know, quality is also pretty subjective. One person's AMAZING photo may be another person's not-so-much photo....


Kudos to you for filling out your profile though. I won't even LOOK at a profile if it doesn't have a fair number of full sentences...


And, when I close them out, I always put the "Based on statements in their profile, I'm not interested..." or whatever that one is...I wish there was a close-out that said, "NOT ENOUGH DETAIL!"
 
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ThePriestess is offline ThePriestess Post #13  July 7,2008, 2:19pm
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goldengirl7676, wrote :

I received a match today who said on his profile, "I am not rich. In fact, I have a lot of debt. But I am happier than I've ever been." That's great that he's happy, but that statement made me wonder. Nobody said anything about being rich, but is it too much to ask for an eH match to be financially responsible and able to support himself?
If this is an issue that, regardless of everything else, makes him an undesired match for you then close him out.


He was honest and upfront ... would you rather he lied?


Should he not be allowed to use eHarmony because of his situation?
 
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dansjudge is offline dansjudge Post #14  July 7,2008, 2:19pm
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I think the vast majority of my 'matches' are non-subscribers, as they have no photo. Since joining this group and learning a bit about how guys/girls communicate (particularly that girl who is up until 3am writing answers to a entire passell of folks, and asks the guys to be patient while she tries to get back to them)...but, I digress.


With no-photo matches, I immediately click to ask for a photo. I will then close them out in two weeks, assuming they don't know how to post a photo or they are non-sub.


The folks (i.e. guys) that post such minimal info on their 'profile' DO have to answer ALL OF THOSE FREAKIN questions in order to get to that phase....not sure whether they are truthful, but they do have to do at least that much to get sent to our 'in box'.


I do know " a friend " who tested out the theory and went on EH with a different e-mail address and answered all of the questions and profiles with her own info to see if she would match to herself. And, low and behold in about 1 week she did pop into her own box! [img]library/editor/plugins/emotions/img/smiley-cool.gif[/img] Funny though, "she" forgot who she was when she came through as a match and was all excited to meet this new match! About a few lines into the profile it seemed to good to be true, and sure enough it was! [img]library/editor/plugins/emotions/img/smiley-tongue-out.gif[/img]
 
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sabete2002 is offline sabete2002 Post #15  July 7,2008, 2:40pm
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kelygirl83,162563 wrote :

How about when you have your settings to 30 miles only and you're getting multiple matches in Canada, Australia, and India (I am in North Carolina btw) and no matches for the USA. Is this what I signed up (and paid $50 dollars a month) for?
I think the distance thing has to be set at "extremely important" or whatever it is. Apparently, if it is set at "somewhat important" you'll get matches from all over.
 
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Jennweb is offline Jennweb Post #16  July 7,2008, 3:24pm
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kelygirl83,162575 wrote :

LOL Hi neighbor! When I was getting local matches most of them were in Cary and Raleigh. Maybe one or two chapel hillians. Have you reached OC with any locals?
Yep I even went on a date. Maybe you have been on a date w/ him too? lol He was from Durham, 26, very much a NC native. "farm" in WV. Sound familiar? I've reached OC with a few CHers and on Carborro'ian. Nothing exciting. How many dates have you been on?
 
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jayjay is offline jayjay Post #17  July 7,2008, 3:54pm
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goldengirl7676, wrote :

I received a match today who said on his profile, "I am not rich. In fact, I have a lot of debt. But I am happier than I've ever been."
Isn't that great? This guy probably thinks he's making some kind of deep, meaningful statement. I dare say most of us could have a great time and be happy if we spent money like water and went into debt....that is, until the credit cards were maxed out and it was time to pay the piper. I'd take a pass on someone who wrote something like this.
 
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cp30 is offline cp30 Post #18  July 7,2008, 4:12pm

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I never pay any attention to the profiles that are not filled out, and don't respond to them, waste of my time.


As for the debt, that is a weird thing to state in the profile. I would not respond because its just a weird thing to say, straight off. Its just off putting.


But I have found many people have different attitudes about debt. I think many overreact to it (and that shows my attitude) and some people are obviously not smart about money and don't make enough money or have enough earning potential to justify the debt. All of us have different comfort levels with debt and I think we just need to be with someone we are compatible with...or someone that tempers us if we are too far in one direction.


I would not respond to the guy either, but not because of his debt (I have plenty of debt myself but it was all neccessary, and all worthwhile, and I do have the earning power to cover it, but I'm still working on that as a younger person). I just think its a weird thing to say, a little TMI like talking about your ex in your profile (close those people too).


Personally, being single my debt doesn't bother me because its mine and I take care of biz-nis' and the thought of some person coming into my life and getting all anxious and weird about MY finances would really tick me off. Its been my business for a long time, I can't imagine someone coming alone and getting all weirded out by something that is mine and mine alone to deal with. I have good credit and debt....it kinda goes together sometimes. I might be more suspicoius of someone who has no debt...do they have any credit? Has there parents paid for everything? School, cars, apartments, house all that? I'm 30 not 50. Its to be expected unless you have had someone helping you a lot or you have not taken any risks. Hyper sensitivity about debt scares me more....responsible use of credit is nothing to be afraid or ashamed of in my opinion. The guy apparently did not elaborate on his situation, only said he has a lot of debt? Well you can have a lot of debt and have a quite promising future at the same time.....his choice of words though, and sense of timing is highly unnatractive.


but a lot of debt to one person might be a drop in the bucket to me.


Just saying...
 
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FruitaBu is offline FruitaBu Post #19  July 7,2008, 4:17pm
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I am so annoyed. I have lost messages. Comments are deleting themselves. I can't even get into my messages now. This is ridiculous. Tech support!!
 
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ThePriestess is offline ThePriestess Post #20  July 7,2008, 4:22pm
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jayjay,162683 wrote :

Isn't that great? This guy probably thinks he's making some kind of deep, meaningful statement. I dare say most of us could have a great time and be happy if we spent money like water and went into debt....that is, until the credit cards were maxed out and it was time to pay the piper. I'd take a pass on someone who wrote something like this.
OR ...


... maybe he got his finances trashed by an ex.


... had a medical emergency.


But we could just assume he's a complete loser.
 
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