Re: Advice Poll Discussion: Have you ever cheated on a significant other?

Friendships need boundaries. There are different levels of friendships. Each level has a boundary. The more intimate the relationship, the narrower your boundary. The closer in distance that person is to you. You can visualize it as a physical distance but it is an emotional distance.

4th Horseman. You may want to consider that her conversations with another man are to be held in the same confidence as if it was with another woman. That she is attractive to the opposite sex is something that you are just going to have to accept. She does not have to know everything that you talk to your friend that is female. That you tell her is your choice. It may be a break in the confidence of the trust that your female friend has with you. You will need to ask her. That you tell your girlfriend of your conversations seems to have strings attached. You have an expectation that she should tell you. But neither of your conversations with an opposite sex friend should contain information that have to be secrets from a significant other. It is a choice to hold a confidence and it is a good choice. There needs to be trust at the heart of your relationship. Trust can be something that you learned about from what was modeled for you while you were growing up. Check out that maybe this is what is unsettling your trust for your girlfriend. That your friendship with your female friends is better/worse than your girlfriends friends is not really what your question is. Your question is whether or not you can trust your girlfriend. Your answer was yes. A faith not tested is not worth much. Your trust is being tested. What guys want at parties is not necessarily what they get. Your guilt has to do with your relationship with your female friend. To have that closeness with a friend, you have to accept that your girlfriend may have that closeness with another male. It can not be a double standard.

Can conversation that connects on a deep, intimate level sometimes mean more to women than having sex? You bet - but it's a turn off when you men have that conversation with another woman. When discussing the definition of "cheating" within a relationship, most men consider sex as the biggest betrayal. For many women, finding out that their man has a closer, long term emotional connection with another woman can hurt more deeply than hearing her man had a non-emotional, one night stand. Men's Betrayal, keeping secrets, and not opening up emotionally to their partner are the biggest reasons why women cut off a relationship early in the dating stage. How can men understand these complex feelings from a woman's point of view?

In this article: http://psychology.suite101.com/article.cfm/emotional_cheating , leading psychologist share why men often unknowingly lose a potential partner because they are "cheating" without having sex. They don't realize that platonic, emotionally intimate relationships with the opposite sex is often a more damaging and painful type of infidelity than sex without emotional intimacy. Sexual infidelity is painful and damaging, yes, but be aware that there are other ways to cheat.

* Men, read the article and let us know if you have done this unknowingly before and hurt your partner.
* Women, once you read this article, can you relate to this? Do you think that Men are a little more blind than we are to these kind of infidelities? Is society more accepting of men behaving in this way? How do you feel about it?

Here are more studies that reveal the main source for most relationship breakups: [*]http://psychology.suite101.com/artic...ional_cheating[*]http://www.survivinginfidelity911.co...s-it-cheating/[*]http://www.allaboutlove.org/emotional-infidelity.htm[*]http://www.buzzle.com/articles/relat...nfidelity.html[*]http://lifestyle.iloveindia.com/loun...elity-618.html http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Emotional_affair[/list]
If you've found information showing otherwise, share it with us.

Are you a man who asks in your eharmony questionnaire: "Do you have a problem with me having close friendships with the opposite sex?" and found this to be a turn off with women you are interested in dating? After reading some of the above studies showing the results of this behavior, do you understand better why women are turned off and hurt by your close friendships with the opposite sex? We want you to have your freedom, but there are boundaries to observe and respect. Women, let us know why men's close friendshps with the opposite sex can be a problem. Men, how do you feel about this? Share your own experiences in this forum: