I can definately understand why these women would be turn offs. A couple of suggestions:


A) Before meeting any more women, do some serious thinking about what you really want in a relationship. Prioritize your list from what is essential to what would be nice. (Keep in mind, you most likely won't find someone who fits exactly)


B) It is imperative to find the answers to the responses-both verbal and non-verbal. Do not continue to date thiswoman or move forward into the relationship. It is easier to close the relationship before your emotions are involved.


C)Read the books by John Gray that discuss communication differences and various needs that women vs men have. It also gives you hints on how you want to be treated and how the other woman wants to be treated; What a Man Needs You to Know About a Woman; and Dr. Harvey's books on His Needs/Her Needs, Love Busters, etc. (if you don't like to read, listen to the audiobooks) They will enhance relationships you have withevery woman in your life.


D)If you continually are attracted to the same type of person over and over, examine why. There i a great book by Barbara DeAngelas called Are You the One For Me? This is not for the faint-hearted. It steps you through your past relationships to present, how to change your expectations. It will reveal honestly what you have been subconsciously attracting and teach you how to re-train yourself. If you do this, you will have more satisfying dates/relationships.


E) Pray about it, ask for wisdom, intuition and discernment from the Lord. I have seen him change people and relationships.


F) Expect to have differing opinions, needs, our own flaws. It is healthy to have disagreements (you are two different people with different life experiences). The key is to agree to disagree, not esculate it into a fight and ultimatums.


G) This may seem like a smaill thing, however take into account her cycle, it is very common for the woman to have "irritable days". Nothing will go right, you're a shmuck, nobody appreciates her, etc. Most women have no idea why they are acting like this...Personally, I make arrangements ahead of time to be away from those whom I love dearly so as not to hurt them with my words. The up side is, she WILL be back to normal quickly.


Finally, accept the fact, there is no perfect woman out there, but you may find someone that you can envision waking up to every morning and spending your life with.


This is only my opinion, I am not the greatest on some days either...usually it is a comination of events or thoughts which leaves me preoccupied.

hello everyone.. from what i see men run to these types of women everyday and get married to them and in the long-run the guy thinks i made a big mistake oops.

that's what you men get for not looking for the real women out there; Instead you look past the real women and go for the party-girl or the flirty-girl hey; you ask for it,you got it.

men or women; life is what you make it to be

good atfernoon, good evening, and good nite

I go for the 'real girls' but they turn out to be only interested in the same thing as the party/flirty girls: money, looks and status. And they get seriously offended when I express any interest - they hate the thought that someone like me thinks I stand a chance with a girl like her. They like to think that only the most attractive men would ask them on date. It seems to be a blow to their self-esteem when they hear an unattractive, quiet, skint guy ask them out. Guys who go for the party/flirty type at least get some fun in the short term, those of us who go for something more substantial just get nothing but rejection. I used to think love was enough, thankfully these women have taught me that all that matters is the superficial. I've wasted enough being considerate and thoughtful to women. Now I'm going to earn as much money as I can and treat people as badly as I can (women mistake this for 'power' or 'confidence') and no doubt I'll manage to get a date then.

I think some men want someone they can be sure is going to want them and them only. They maygo for the less confident, self directed person because she may be more likely to appreciate him. Some men put on aires as strong and confident but when you get down to the nitty gritty they are scared and hurt little boys. They want someone who depends on them in some way so they can feel secure. Maybe a less successful more dependant woman will be more forgiving of indiscretions, infidelities and character or personality flaws.


Yes it is true that some women who reach a higher level of success get over confident and let it go to their heads. Maybe getting drunk with so called power and self importance. But isn't this what men have been doing for centuries? I mean lets be clear here. Men have had the balance of power in civilization for centuries and many a war, holocaust and genocide have come of it. Its not a gender thing. Its a personality thing. In our society money and things have become important to our sense of security. Therefore these things are important to survival. The problem seems to be when successful men talk about money its talking business. When women talk about money or success it considered materialism.

What crap....who cares what he wants. Be who you are and if you are any of the above types and feel uncomfortable after reading this than make the change, but don't change who you are because this website says it is the only way you will meet someone. Screw them if they need you to be perfect but don't know how to be that for another person.

I know what I want because I am a man. I want a woman who can pick up after herself and is responsible, kind, sexy, educated and with a great sense of humor. A girl has to make me laugh or indulge me with her brains and good conversation if there is to be any spark. No air heads, no attitudes, no Drama-Mamas and no selfishness!!!! And don't be flakey!


Moderation in everything you do and you will score the man of your dreams. Oh yeah, men want a woman who they can depend on in a time of stress and difficulty, one who is not going to fall apart at the seams when they need their significant other the most, otherwise you will be competing with his mother the rest of your life for the first person in his heart.

Bro, you nailed it on the head!!! Ahmen!!!


They are by far the worst cases and are too blind,


and ignorant to see their short commings.

I am a 48-year-old man who has never married -- not because I don't want to be married, but because no woman has ever wanted to marry me. More than half my lifetime ago, I had a college sweetheart who I loved, and who loved me. I hated to have to leave her to spend my junior year in Europe, but I would have understood if she'd fallen in love with someone else, just as I was aware that I might fall in love with someone else myself.
I wrote her long, passionate love letters at least once a week. She sent me four short letters of her own. Still, I hoped to take up where we left off when I got home.
I knew from the moment I first saw her again that she had changed. She was cold and distant. She cringed when I touched her and blushed when I tried to get romantic. One day, in a coffee shop, I put my cards on the table and asked her what was wrong.
Finally, she blurted out, "You're too clingy! And needy!" The other people in the coffee shop turned to look at her.
I was stunned. If I was clingy and needy, so was she before I left for Europe. The difference was that she didn't mind back then, because she was in love. What she really wanted to tell me was that she didn't love me any more, but somehow she thought that was the right way to tell me.
For the next 27 years, I've felt this need to prove to women that they have nothing to fear from me. I won't be needy, I won't be "clingy", I won't stalk them. My relationships since then have been brief, few, and far between, and here I am single again.
I envy those guys who complain about women who are too flirty, clingy, or "commitmentphile". If ever I met a woman like that, unless there was something seriously wrong with her, I'd probably fall in love and marry her. The trouble with most of the women I meet is that they seem to feel that same burden I feel -- the need to prove that they aren't going to become obsessed with me.
There's a word for what happens when both the man and the woman are needy, clingy, flirty, and commitmentphilic at the same time. It's called love. But love can't blossom on the barren soil of fear and distrust.
Men and women need to be candid with each other, to put their cards on the table as soon as they can. Being too frank too soon can be unromantic, but at least it takes away the element of fear.
And as for the "chatterbox" -- I like woman who have something to say, and who appreciate having someone like me taking the time to listen. I'd much rather be on a date with a "chatty Cathy" than endure those painful, awkward silences with a woman who expects me to do all the talking.
Just once, I'd like to have a girfriend who is all those things this article says men avoid.

Brownize916, I agree with you completely. I am on the heels of a somewhat amicable, but fairdivorce, too. Although there were good reasons for my leaving him (there would have to be otherwise, I wouldn't be here), I still would not discuss those reasons with anyone new, nor make any comparisons. Everyone has their good qualities, afterall, we had a deep connection with them in the first place which brought us to marry them, but we change.


It was a situation which has taken me a long time to understand, especially with getting over the hurt of doing something that I never wanted to do, but once I made peace with it, I can have a better relationship with my ex. When you let go of the resentment and hurt, it feels so liberating and you feel much better, I've come to understand. It takes way too much energy to harbor negative feelings toward anyone.

Iagree wholeheartedly! While I have a somewhat friendly relationship with my ex-, I can't say that we are good friends anymore. I think we merely tolerate eachother at this point. I don't wish him ill will, but I also don't want to try to rekindle something that got extinguished many years ago. Some things happen for a reason. While I miss the person who he was at times, I do not miss the "different person now" who he became, but I still wouldn't put him down to anyone (nor would I extoll his virtues).