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Wonkygirl Wonkygirl is offline
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MPdoc68 wrote :

CyranoDeStareyourack wrote :





[/b]
5.No Fat Chicks—Women, we are far from perfect. However, backward as our gender is, we can still tell when your BODY below your bra-band is


a) Cropped out


b) Recessed


c) Hidden


d) Camouflaged


If you have years of physical neglect to show us, what is the payoff in hiding it? Men rarely fall in love with a Madison Avenue face on a body the size of a sumo wrestler. Also, men over thirty can guess thatIF the face is “voluptuous” --and face shots are all that got posted—You might have weight reduction to do. Come on!! Cut out the winter coats!


Additionally and related to number 5


6)No Pictures: These women are close to God since they will not allow you to see their graven image. Women, men are turned on visually[/b]. We get attracted at the beginning, not 3 weeks later when you want to send a pic. I see so many people from BOTH genders that rant that no pictures is a huge waste of time, and it is!


Comments on the "picture thing" (for the 586th time):


Ladies, I know many women have an issue with posting pictures. Many do so belatedly, relunctantly, "strategically", or not at all. I hear all the time that you resist because you "don't want them floating around the internet", "want someone to be interested in me for more than what I look like", and/or (admit it) you are trying to "hide" something--usually weight--that you hope against all possible logic your match somehow won't notice. Please take the following to heart because this is all true (you want to know what guys are thinking, right?)...


1) EH-posted photos CAN NOT be copied or cut & pasted. There is NO danger that someone can "misuse" your pictures and, unless you are posting provocative ones--which EH won't allow anyway, there is nothing to be embarrassed about even if that were the case. You are going to date someone in a public place, so please take reasonable precautions but STOP BEING PARANOID...it is very unappealing.


2) Any decent guy IS "going to become interested in you for who you are on the inside." Here is how "IT" works for men:your "look" catches our eye and makes us want to get to know you better. When we do, and it "clicks", we fall for you and want a real LTR with you. The "player" guy who just wants sex cares about nothing beyond your looks, but, by hiding/delaying your photos, you are likely screening out a lot of good guys because they don't have the opportunity to be "initially intriqued" and/or assume the worst about someone who doesn't show their pics. Yes, we are turned on visually at the outset--it is not a con--it is REAL!


3) The most ridiculous reason of all! He is going to see you eventually and delaying the inevitable is NOT going to change the result of that one way or the other. In other words, a man is not going to become so enthralled with you in GC/OC that hefails to noticean "unattractive physical package" (to him) on a blind 1st date. Whatever you look like, it is best to be upfront and honest about it from the get-go; the guys who are aren't visually interested, won't pursue you (or waste his/your time in the process) and guys who are, will. Why not just dispense with that whole necessary issue up front (as much as photos allow)?


There is absolutely no point in not posting pics or posting only "strategic" ones (i.e. face-shots only, hidden body, loose clothing, etc.) We can usually tell by the size of your upper arm, the shape of the face/neck, and the fact that the rest of you is "unseen" what is likely going on--we are not fooled! And what, pray tell, would be the benefit of fooling us anyway? A 1st (and only) date that is going absolutely nowhere?


Virtually every woman writes that they want "honesty" in a partner. This is honesty and it is quite dishonest to pretend or fake or hide what you really are or are not. In "real life" nobody walks around covered head-to-toeby some generic computer-generated silhouette or "strategically camouflaged." OL dating is difficult and frustrating enough without these sort of wasteful games going on.


Food for thought...NO FLAMES!
What if we just wrote itin the profile? I'm fat. I'm not a sumo wrestler but I'm also not a petite size two. I'm 5'10" a big girl. How's that? A full body shot still needed?
- July 20th, 2008, 10:46 pm
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katybird68 wrote :

In a man's mind, I'm wondering if there is a fine line when deciding if a woman is a "cling-on" or not. Take, for example, my situation. I've always worried that a man would get fed up with me, because he would be the one doing all the driving. I would not expect to do everything together. Is there a defined criteria thatevery man expects fromevery woman?Because of an issue with my vision, I would rely on him, everytime we were to go somewhere together.Ialso think that there is a point in a relationship when I should be able to expect that he would not need hisspace and would choose me over hanging out with his friends. What about including me inthose social situations.Am I completely out of luck finding the perfect guy for me,if he knows going in, that this is my situation? I HOPE NOT, I THINK I JUST AS ENTITLED TO FIND A MAN ASANYONE ELSE.

A good man would be understanding about your limitations concerning driving. I think that after a certain amount of time in the gettting-to-know you and attraction phase, there will be a period when you both will want to introduce each other to friends and family.


If your boyfriend is reluctant to introduce you to family and/orfriends, be warned. This can be a BIG RED FLAG. He is eitherashamed of his family and friends OR he is living a double life and doesn't want a REAL relationship, just someone else to string along in his fantasy world.


A mature guy willinvite his friends over to meet you orwill invite you out to meet them when the relationship gets serious. If he wants tohang out with his friends most of the time and exclude you, you arenot very important to him. I would RUN!!! FAST!!! Of course, even the most devoted men need an occasional night out with the guys so thatthey can have the space necessary tofeel their appreciation for how great you are, etc.
- July 21st, 2008, 10:43 am
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LawyerDan LawyerDan is offline
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purpleone wrote :

katybird68 wrote :


In a man's mind, I'm wondering if there is a fine line when deciding if a woman is a "cling-on" or not. Take, for example, my situation. I've always worried that a man would get fed up with me, because he would be the one doing all the driving. I would not expect to do everything together. Is there a defined criteria thatevery man expects fromevery woman?Because of an issue with my vision, I would rely on him, everytime we were to go somewhere together.Ialso think that there is a point in a relationship when I should be able to expect that he would not need hisspace and would choose me over hanging out with his friends. What about including me inthose social situations.Am I completely out of luck finding the perfect guy for me,if he knows going in, that this is my situation? I HOPE NOT, I THINK I JUST AS ENTITLED TO FIND A MAN ASANYONE ELSE.





A good man would be understanding about your limitations concerning driving. I think that after a certain amount of time in the gettting-to-know you and attraction phase, there will be a period when you both will want to introduce each other to friends and family.


If your boyfriend is reluctant to introduce you to family and/orfriends, be warned. This can be a BIG RED FLAG. He is eitherashamed of his family and friends OR he is living a double life and doesn't want a REAL relationship, just someone else to string along in his fantasy world.


A mature guy willinvite his friends over to meet you orwill invite you out to meet them when the relationship gets serious. If he wants tohang out with his friends most of the time and exclude you, you arenot very important to him. I would RUN!!! FAST!!! Of course, even the most devoted men need an occasional night out with the guys so thatthey can have the space necessary tofeel their appreciation for how great you are, etc.
Actually katy should be understanding of his limitations on not driving all the time. And to suggest that anyone should give up their friends and all their free time and spend only time with you sounds like a prison sentence. A good man as it was put, can have a life as well.


A mature guy invites his friends over to meet you? How is this mature? She never implied that she doesnt know his friends just that he shouldn't ever need any space from her regarding his friends.


To ask anyone to give up all assemblances of being a person is a little much to ask and if he choses not to do so doesn't make him immature or a bad man.
- July 21st, 2008, 01:42 pm
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purpleone purpleone is offline
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LawyerDan wrote :

purpleone wrote :


katybird68 wrote :


In a man's mind, I'm wondering if there is a fine line when deciding if a woman is a "cling-on" or not. Take, for example, my situation. I've always worried that a man would get fed up with me, because he would be the one doing all the driving. I would not expect to do everything together. Is there a defined criteria thatevery man expects fromevery woman?Because of an issue with my vision, I would rely on him, everytime we were to go somewhere together.Ialso think that there is a point in a relationship when I should be able to expect that he would not need hisspace and would choose me over hanging out with his friends. What about including me inthose social situations.Am I completely out of luck finding the perfect guy for me,if he knows going in, that this is my situation? I HOPE NOT, I THINK I JUST AS ENTITLED TO FIND A MAN ASANYONE ELSE.





A good man would be understanding about your limitations concerning driving. I think that after a certain amount of time in the gettting-to-know you and attraction phase, there will be a period when you both will want to introduce each other to friends and family.


If your boyfriend is reluctant to introduce you to family and/orfriends, be warned. This can be a BIG RED FLAG. He is eitherashamed of his family and friends OR he is living a double life and doesn't want a REAL relationship, just someone else to string along in his fantasy world.


A mature guy willinvite his friends over to meet you orwill invite you out to meet them when the relationship gets serious. If he wants tohang out with his friends most of the time and exclude you, you arenot very important to him. I would RUN!!! FAST!!! Of course, even the most devoted men need an occasional night out with the guys so thatthey can have the space necessary tofeel their appreciation for how great you are, etc.


Actually katy should be understanding of his limitations on not driving all the time. And to suggest that anyone should give up their friends and all their free time and spend only time with you sounds like a prison sentence. A good man as it was put, can have a life as well.


A mature guy invites his friends over to meet you? How is this mature? She never implied that she doesnt know his friends just that he shouldn't ever need any space from her regarding his friends.


To ask anyone to give up all assemblances of being a person is a little much to ask and if he choses not to do so doesn't make him immature or a bad man.
Why do you INSIST on attacking everything I say? And you always misconstrue everything I say and put words in my mouth. Nothing I saidimplied that a guy has to spend every spare minute with his girlfriend but if he spends MOST of his time with the guys and never bothers to introduce her to some of his friends, wouldn't that give the impression that he is just not that into her?


I am not talking about arelationship where you give up your friends and outside interests, I am talking about a healthy relationship where both partiesmeet each others' needs and enjoy spending a lot of time together. You seem sofull of bitterness about something, why would you even want to discuss dating issues anway? It just seems to make you angry. Yourhostility and bitterness are even coming out toward me, someone you have never even met!
- July 21st, 2008, 03:08 pm
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You did not but Katy did, as I said. The only point I directed at you was your definitions of a good man and a mature man. Calm down, it was mostly for katy. Not attacking you just attacking your definitions a little.


Except for your little rant, I agree with your last paragraph.
- July 21st, 2008, 03:13 pm
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Uncle Apple wrote :

I don't mind the cling-on (was that term deliberarately created to soud like Klingon?), long as her intentions are good and include committment and marriage. But I avoid women who are manipulative, deceptive and unreliable. The article forgot to mention them.


Thought for the Day:
A real home is more than just a roof over your heat -- it is a foundation under your feet
I guess that coined phrase "cling-on" would be me. I did not intentionally try to sound like a "trekky". I was trying to reference something I read on this topic. Anyway, it seems that the people who are saying what I want to hear, are not the same people I am matched with. Where have you been?I like what you said, and Ido have good intensions. Being committed is important to me. I don't subscribe to the attitude that youdo thebest you can for as long as you can, and if it doesn't work, "Oh, well!"I don't want to be perceived as a "clingy person", but I am a little confused about what characteristics (or actions) men will perceive that way. I'd like people to get to know me and my "circumstances", before they just catagorize me as, "clingy". And, by the way, I am anything but manipulative or deceptive. Some of my family members wish I was a little less straight forward.
- July 21st, 2008, 05:52 pm
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purpleone wrote :

LawyerDan wrote :


purpleone wrote :


katybird68 wrote :


In a man's mind, I'm wondering if there is a fine line when deciding if a woman is a "cling-on" or not. Take, for example, my situation. I've always worried that a man would get fed up with me, because he would be the one doing all the driving. I would not expect to do everything together. Is there a defined criteria thatevery man expects fromevery woman?Because of an issue with my vision, I would rely on him, everytime we were to go somewhere together.Ialso think that there is a point in a relationship when I should be able to expect that he would not need hisspace and would choose me over hanging out with his friends. What about including me inthose social situations.Am I completely out of luck finding the perfect guy for me,if he knows going in, that this is my situation? I HOPE NOT, I THINK I JUST AS ENTITLED TO FIND A MAN ASANYONE ELSE.





A good man would be understanding about your limitations concerning driving. I think that after a certain amount of time in the gettting-to-know you and attraction phase, there will be a period when you both will want to introduce each other to friends and family.


If your boyfriend is reluctant to introduce you to family and/orfriends, be warned. This can be a BIG RED FLAG. He is eitherashamed of his family and friends OR he is living a double life and doesn't want a REAL relationship, just someone else to string along in his fantasy world.


A mature guy willinvite his friends over to meet you orwill invite you out to meet them when the relationship gets serious. If he wants tohang out with his friends most of the time and exclude you, you arenot very important to him. I would RUN!!! FAST!!! Of course, even the most devoted men need an occasional night out with the guys so thatthey can have the space necessary tofeel their appreciation for how great you are, etc.


Actually katy should be understanding of his limitations on not driving all the time. And to suggest that anyone should give up their friends and all their free time and spend only time with you sounds like a prison sentence. A good man as it was put, can have a life as well.


A mature guy invites his friends over to meet you? How is this mature? She never implied that she doesnt know his friends just that he shouldn't ever need any space from her regarding his friends.


To ask anyone to give up all assemblances of being a person is a little much to ask and if he choses not to do so doesn't make him immature or a bad man.


Why do you INSIST on attacking everything I say? And you always misconstrue everything I say and put words in my mouth. Nothing I saidimplied that a guy has to spend every spare minute with his girlfriend but if he spends MOST of his time with the guys and never bothers to introduce her to some of his friends, wouldn't that give the impression that he is just not that into her?


I am not talking about arelationship where you give up your friends and outside interests, I am talking about a healthy relationship where both partiesmeet each others' needs and enjoy spending a lot of time together. You seem sofull of bitterness about something, why would you even want to discuss dating issues anway? It just seems to make you angry. Yourhostility and bitterness are even coming out toward me, someone you have never even met!
This is getting interesting. I didn't mean to imply that a man has to give up everything for me. I just don't understand the concept of "needing space". I think that, when it's right, you should be able to co-exist in each other's life, rather than need space to "do your own thing". I'm not the kind of person who needs "a night out with the girls". The last guy who implied to me, that he needed space, was actuallyinterested in someone else. I should have known, when he had trouble deciding which thinghe could afford to do; "buy cigarettes or takeme out". I'm no primadonna. I just think that, when it's right,
- July 21st, 2008, 06:20 pm
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katybird68 wrote :

purpleone wrote :


LawyerDan wrote :


purpleone wrote :


katybird68 wrote :


In a man's mind, I'm wondering if there is a fine line when deciding if a woman is a "cling-on" or not. Take, for example, my situation. I've always worried that a man would get fed up with me, because he would be the one doing all the driving. I would not expect to do everything together. Is there a defined criteria thatevery man expects fromevery woman?Because of an issue with my vision, I would rely on him, everytime we were to go somewhere together.Ialso think that there is a point in a relationship when I should be able to expect that he would not need hisspace and would choose me over hanging out with his friends. What about including me inthose social situations.Am I completely out of luck finding the perfect guy for me,if he knows going in, that this is my situation? I HOPE NOT, I THINK I JUST AS ENTITLED TO FIND A MAN ASANYONE ELSE.





A good man would be understanding about your limitations concerning driving. I think that after a certain amount of time in the gettting-to-know you and attraction phase, there will be a period when you both will want to introduce each other to friends and family.


If your boyfriend is reluctant to introduce you to family and/orfriends, be warned. This can be a BIG RED FLAG. He is eitherashamed of his family and friends OR he is living a double life and doesn't want a REAL relationship, just someone else to string along in his fantasy world.


A mature guy willinvite his friends over to meet you orwill invite you out to meet them when the relationship gets serious. If he wants tohang out with his friends most of the time and exclude you, you arenot very important to him. I would RUN!!! FAST!!! Of course, even the most devoted men need an occasional night out with the guys so thatthey can have the space necessary tofeel their appreciation for how great you are, etc.


Actually katy should be understanding of his limitations on not driving all the time. And to suggest that anyone should give up their friends and all their free time and spend only time with you sounds like a prison sentence. A good man as it was put, can have a life as well.


A mature guy invites his friends over to meet you? How is this mature? She never implied that she doesnt know his friends just that he shouldn't ever need any space from her regarding his friends.


To ask anyone to give up all assemblances of being a person is a little much to ask and if he choses not to do so doesn't make him immature or a bad man.


Why do you INSIST on attacking everything I say? And you always misconstrue everything I say and put words in my mouth. Nothing I saidimplied that a guy has to spend every spare minute with his girlfriend but if he spends MOST of his time with the guys and never bothers to introduce her to some of his friends, wouldn't that give the impression that he is just not that into her?


I am not talking about arelationship where you give up your friends and outside interests, I am talking about a healthy relationship where both partiesmeet each others' needs and enjoy spending a lot of time together. You seem sofull of bitterness about something, why would you even want to discuss dating issues anway? It just seems to make you angry. Yourhostility and bitterness are even coming out toward me, someone you have never even met!


This is getting interesting. I didn't mean to imply that a man has to give up everything for me. I just don't understand the concept of "needing space". I think that, when it's right, you should be able to co-exist in each other's life, rather than need space to "do your own thing". I'm not the kind of person who needs "a night out with the girls". The last guy who implied to me, that he needed space, was actuallyinterested in someone else. I should have known, when he had trouble deciding which thinghe could afford to do; "buy cigarettes or takeme out". I'm no primadonna. I just think that, when it's right,
I agree that if you find your soul mate you can probablyspend almost all of your time together and you willstill beable to grow a healthy relationship.If two people have to spend too much time apart, then that must mean they barely tolerate each other, so the relationship would never work, anyway.


I find thatwhen I am away from a guyjust a little, I appreciate him more when we reunite. You get that little thrill!


Thank goodnessthe smoker is out of your life!Healthy nonsmoker guys are sexier and they live a lot longer!The "pack of cigarettes guy"who left your for another woman sounds like a liar --- and a loser. If a guy has no moral compass concerning what he tells women, it is a good sign that he has a hard time knowing the difference between right and wrong in general. A guy with real guts takes the high road and just tells you he is not interested anymore.It may sting for a while but at least you've gotten the TRUTH.


When it comes to relationships, I need the truth, straight-up and undiluted, otherwise I wind up seeing mirages and chasing windmills --- a waste of time in my trek to find the EmeraldCity of relationship happiness!!! When I have the truth, I have something I can work with --- closure. That way I can just heal and move on.


Good luck inyour search, girl.


- July 23rd, 2008, 11:37 am
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They forgot about:


1. The Princess: daddy's little girl who's been spoiled rotten and has to have the best of everything and more of it. Doesn't realize that it takes work to get those things and that you have to work your way up the ladder. A man can never do enough to please her. His needs are never important.


2. The Witch: always has an evil word to say, always has to have the last word,is constantly scheming and doing things behind everybody's back. The only benefit is that you don't need much extra garage space to fit an extra broom.


3. The Nag: continually assures the man how he never does anything, right or otherwise. Always into having him do what SHE wants him to do.


4. The basketcase: has so many emotional problems, getting through life is impossible.


5. The gossip: we don't want to hear that stuff, and we sure don't want everyone to know the most intimate parts of our relationship.


What we want:


1. The Cheerleader - someone who knows how to support a man and build him up rather than to tear him down. Someone who supports HIS cause.


2. The Sweetheart: "you attract more flies with honey, not vinegar" A caring and soft disposition is always the best way into a man's heart.


3. A Friend: Someone we love to spend time with and do things together because they like us for who we are.
- July 26th, 2008, 03:18 pm
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musicchick wrote :

MPdoc68 wrote :


hotromantic wrote :


MPdoc68 wrote :


hotromantic wrote :


#4 should also be the Hoodrat also...The hoodrat to me is the absolute epitomy of the type of woman I cannot stand and will not tolerate...





She must be the epitomy of class and respect.


Hot:


"Hoodrat"? Haven't heard that term before...what does that mean?


Someone that is not just from the ghetto, but they talk in foul slang, curse all the time, listen to rap and hiphop, are loud, obnoxious, drug dealers/crackheads, in and out of jail, love to fight, I could go on and on..





Pretty much a rat from the ghetto..


Gotcha...thanks..."white trash" (or whatever color). Tattoos, extraneous piercings, cheesy fake nails with "designs" on them, trashy makeup, hip-hugger pants with rolls hanging over all around---bingo, me too


What's the matter with a tattoo or two? I have one, and it's really pretty. If I can figure out how, I will put a picture on here. It's on my arm.


Musicchick
Music:


There is nothing wrong with it...if you like it, great.


Personally, I loathe tattoos--I could deal with a SMALL heart or butterfly (or whatever) on an upper arm or ankle, say.....but, anything beyond that is a non-starter for me. To each, his own...
- July 26th, 2008, 06:58 pm
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