ShellieAnne is offline ShellieAnne Post #1  February 21,2012, 2:00pm
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10 months of exclusive dating, and we hit our first Valentine's Day. Now I wish we would have talked about it earlier, and decided together that it would be completely fine to skip it. Because not having the day would have been better than getting something tossed on the couch that night with a "here, I guess I had to get you something". Am I wrong in thinking doing nothing would have been so much better than that?
 
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FairOne is offline FairOne Post #2  February 21,2012, 2:05pm
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Has he shown himself to be thoughtless and cavalier throughout your relationship, or was V-day the first time?

Generally speaking yes, it's good to talk about things like V-day/birthdays/holidays early, before they happen. Some people are really into it and some aren't, and it's good to know who you are dealing with.

Sorry things didn't go better for you :-(
 
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ShellieAnne is offline ShellieAnne Post #3  February 21,2012, 2:13pm
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It was out of character for him. I think that's why it hurt. It has me thinking something has changed.
 
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FairOne is offline FairOne Post #4  February 21,2012, 2:18pm
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I can understand that. He may just be one of those 'anti-v day' people, although I feel that the most thoughtful of those people usually give their SO a heads-up before the day.
You should definitely talk to him and I'd suggest not leading with your dissapointment over v-day, but just about how he was acting differently than he normally does so you are checking in and see where the conversation goes from there.
 
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Harryoss is offline Harryoss Post #5  February 21,2012, 2:22pm
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Quite frankly I'd have been furious with him if I were you. And likely shown that in the form of asking him "So! Is there any particular reason why you chose to ruin what could have otherwise been a perfectly romantic night full of passion and love?"
 
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Harryoss is offline Harryoss Post #6  February 21,2012, 2:25pm
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Ekh! No editing allowed. I just wanted to add that: If he didn't want to get you a gift, he could have very easily not gotten you one. What he did instead, was to intentionally tick you off and make you feel bad. THAT'S what would have made me furious.
 
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boschimsp is offline boschimsp — Advice Member-Moderator Post #7  February 21,2012, 2:25pm
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Did you notice a shift in the way he behaved before V-Day or has behaved after or is it just isolated to this incident. I agree that if you are going to talk about it I would make it less about your disappointment and more about noticing he was acting differently. I agree that it could be a case of him just not being comfortable with or into V-Day or it could be that the day crystalized that his feelings for him might not have been what he thought they were.
 
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ShellieAnne is offline ShellieAnne Post #8  February 21,2012, 2:29pm
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Harryoss, I was kind of taken back, and didn't say anything about it. I didn't want to make a big deal out of it, and the evening went on. I had a gift for him, which I gave him, and then a few more goodies in my overnight bag which I didn't give him. And it was the good stuff : )
 
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ShellieAnne is offline ShellieAnne Post #9  February 21,2012, 2:33pm
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We had an almost heated discussion the previous weekend about things that had been on my mind that I haven't been wanting to bring up. He's a terrible flirt when we go out, and that was discussed. It didn't end on the best of notes. So in hindsight, V Day must have been a result of that.
 
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meanminicooper is offline meanminicooper Post #10  February 21,2012, 2:38pm
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Is he a good guy the other 364 days?
 
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