Going to be very honest...


Reply
  • Page 1 of 2
  • 1
  • 2
 
Topic Tools Search this Thread
Travelchick is offline Travelchick Post #1  February 12,2012, 3:35pm
Travelchick's Avatar

Newbie

Joined: Feb 2012

Posts: 5

See profile

I'm just curious if there are other people in my situation.

I've been on eHarmony for about 3 weeks now met someone very early on and we really hit it off. Things started to get a bit more physical the last date we went on. I'm really not experienced in that area at all. Its not like I'm waiting for marriage I just think there should be some connection and to not just sleep with someone just because.
 
  Reply With Quote
shapeShifter79 is offline shapeShifter79 Post #2  February 12,2012, 3:41pm
shapeShifter7…'s Avatar

likes dancing!

Board Leader: Health & Wellness

Joined: Apr 2011

CA

Posts: 2,499

See profile

Travelchick wrote :
I've been on eHarmony for about 3 weeks now met someone very early on and we really hit it off. Things started to get a bit more physical the last date we went on. I'm really not experienced in that area at all. Its not like I'm waiting for marriage I just think there should be some connection and to not just sleep with someone just because.
I imagine he doesn't want to sleep with you just because, he wants to sleep with you because he thinks you're sexy. It's common for ladies to wait a few dates and ask for exclusivity before intimacy, so you're not unusual or an outlier if that's what you're meaning.
 
  Reply With Quote
Ingytravel is offline Ingytravel Post #3  February 12,2012, 3:42pm
Ingytravel's Avatar

Naps are one of life's great joys:)

Power Poster

Joined: Mar 2009

Posts: 8,164

See profile

Travelchick wrote :
I'm just curious if there are other people in my situation.

I've been on eHarmony for about 3 weeks now met someone very early on and we really hit it off. Things started to get a bit more physical the last date we went on. I'm really not experienced in that area at all. Its not like I'm waiting for marriage I just think there should be some connection and to not just sleep with someone just because.
I'm not sure what you are asking? Obviously you need to have sex when you are ready to....it wouldn't matter when I, or anyone else on here has it with a partner...

How many dates have you all been on? Are you all going out or is it just spending time at someone's house?

Was your date upset that you decided not to have sex? The only time that can be an issue on your end is if you are saying you want to hold off...but then having dates at their/your house and getting heated all the time and then pulling back right at the last minute...This wouldn't be fair...

So...if this man isn't willing to wait a bit for you until you all get to know each other better...than let him go...pretty simple.

I think that someone is just wanting somewhat of a time frame...as in, if you aren't waiting for marriage....are we talking 6 months here? Or just until you all are exclusively dating after a few months...or a few more weeks?

Whatever you do, just don't decide to do this for him....You need to have sex when you are completely ready for yourself and not putting a bunch of expectations on the relationship just because of it...

Good luck..
 
  Reply With Quote
harnomygirl is offline harnomygirl Post #4  February 12,2012, 3:52pm
harnomygirl's Avatar

Power Poster

Joined: Mar 2011

Posts: 6,418

See profile

Travelchick wrote :
I'm just curious if there are other people in my situation.

I've been on eHarmony for about 3 weeks now met someone very early on and we really hit it off. Things started to get a bit more physical the last date we went on. I'm really not experienced in that area at all. Its not like I'm waiting for marriage I just think there should be some connection and to not just sleep with someone just because.
Most people wait for some connection. It's okay to tell him if you think it's too soon. I've found that most people agree that both parties should want sex before having it with each other.

You don't have to give him a time frame in advance since it depends on how the relationship progresses.
 
  Reply With Quote
Travelchick is offline Travelchick Post #5  February 12,2012, 3:58pm
Travelchick's Avatar

Newbie

Joined: Feb 2012

Posts: 5

See profile

Thank you both for your replies.

Ingy travel: We've been on four dates, going out for dinner/movie and sports events.

No he wasn't it just caught me off guard when he asked how much experiance I had. I just didn't know how to justify it at that moment.
 
  Reply With Quote
Ingytravel is offline Ingytravel Post #6  February 12,2012, 4:27pm
Ingytravel's Avatar

Naps are one of life's great joys:)

Power Poster

Joined: Mar 2009

Posts: 8,164

See profile

Travelchick wrote :
Thank you both for your replies.

Ingy travel: We've been on four dates, going out for dinner/movie and sports events.

No he wasn't it just caught me off guard when he asked how much experiance I had. I just didn't know how to justify it at that moment.
That seems like an odd question to ask you...Was this in a moment of you all kissing and such and then you said you want to wait for sex? And then he asked this?...

Was that what he said.."How experienced are you?"....
 
  Reply With Quote
NikkNakk is offline NikkNakk Post #7  February 12,2012, 4:40pm
NikkNakk's Avatar

Newbie

Joined: Oct 2011

Texas

Posts: 40

See profile

If you are not ready to have sex with this guy then I would avoid putting yourself in a situation that would allow sex to happen ie: having dates at his/your house.
 
  Reply With Quote
Travelchick is offline Travelchick Post #8  February 12,2012, 4:54pm
Travelchick's Avatar

Newbie

Joined: Feb 2012

Posts: 5

See profile

We were making out at the time and he asked me what I had done with guys before. I just said I had made out before and the subject was dropped.
 
  Reply With Quote
BabyYoda is offline BabyYoda Post #9  February 12,2012, 5:06pm
BabyYoda's Avatar

Virtuoso

Joined: Aug 2010

Inland Empire, CA

Posts: 2,989

See profile

Travelchick wrote :
I'm just curious if there are other people in my situation.

I've been on eHarmony for about 3 weeks now met someone very early on and we really hit it off. Things started to get a bit more physical the last date we went on. I'm really not experienced in that area at all. Its not like I'm waiting for marriage I just think there should be some connection and to not just sleep with someone just because.
Tell your interest that you are not ready to get physical until you have established a connection with someone. But, you need to also do the following:

Do not get into heavy kissing, petting, dry humping or any activity that will cause arousal and encourage your interest to want to engage in coitus. The reason why I say this is because it isn't right for someone who claims to not be ready for coitus to participate in activities which encourages said activity. It is ok to kiss, light petting, hug, cuddle, etc. But, anything more intense than that will take things to a level in which you are not ready to engage in at this point. Plus, foreplay without coitus can be interpreted as teasing which may cause your interest to be frustrated, create physcial pain in his groin region and possibly turn him off.

In all, if you want to wait, then please do so and be honest and consistent with your behavior. When you are ready to become intimate, then engaging in foreplay and other activities leading to coitus is permissible.

B.Y.
Last edited by BabyYoda; February 12,2012 at 7:53pm.
 
  Reply With Quote
Wiseman2 is online now Wiseman2 Post #10  February 13,2012, 4:16am
Wiseman2's Avatar

Power Poster

Joined: May 2009

Posts: 6,306

See profile

This is an inappropriate question. Insist on boundaries with these type of questions or a pace that you are not comfortable with. Never, ever let anyone pressure or manipulate you with off the wall questions such as this.... Good Luck...
Travelchick wrote :
he asked me what I had done with guys before.
 
  Reply With Quote
Reply
  • Page 1 of 2
  • 1
  • 2


« A Dating Query | Dating | Letting Go »
Topic Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new topics
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

Similar Topics
Topic Topic Starter Board Replies Last Post
How Honest Is Too Honest? Sweetheart9167 Using eHarmony 9 March 22,2010 7:17pm
Be honest! An imprecise study of differences between men and women. justme27 Chit Chat 10 February 3,2010 4:35am
Ok ladies, give me your HONEST opinion FirefighterTimWilver Using eHarmony 30 January 29,2010 8:37pm
Is it possible to be too honest? stevex Dating 57 July 31,2009 2:08pm
How Honest? JDavid Ask a Dating Expert 14 June 17,2009 6:17am

Looking for a Great Relationship?

Get started now. Fill out this form and take the questionnaire to receive your matches.

First Name:

I'm a:
seeking

Postal Code:

Country:

Email:

Confirm Email:

Password:


How did you hear about us?


Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards

“ ^This is the better plan.. My experience has been that love usually comes along when you least expect it, and when your heart is open enough to let it in. If you try to put a set time table on when ... ” –  TheThinker

Join the “Transition from dating to relationship” discussion

“ As Ingy mentions ...he's good with the lines and multitasking relationships.. All anyone can say is: don't get played again...especially by the same guy twice... Move on to someone who is decisive ... ” –  lynntlb78

Join the “Reuniting with EX” discussion

“This varies based on your age, gender, location, settings, and 29 dimensions. My settings are fairly narrow and I've always gotten a steady stream of matches. But, my location seems to have a lot ... ” –  dmi

Join the “Different Strategy” discussion

“I'm extremely allergic to cats, plus I just don't like 'em. So I won't date someone with cats. Dogs, I love. But I'm attracted to certain types of dogs. A guy with a little yorkie turns me off. ... ” –  ZisaGirl

Join the “What about a "PET BOX" ?? again this sounds simple or??” discussion

“If you get the opportunity, yes.” –  ThePriestess

Join the “Should I ever date in college?” discussion

“...and since you're Shaun Cassidy fan mitchell...this song is just for you! "Da Doo Ron Ron" I met her on a Monday And my heart stood still Da doo ron ron ron Da doo ron ron Somebody told me That ... ” –  legend29

Join the “Robin Gibbs Dead at 62...How Deep is Your Love?” discussion



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 7:18am.

Discussion Boards Archive

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2012, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.6.0