mysterious fetish profile change?


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scully98 is offline scully98 Post #1  February 12,2012, 11:18am
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I unhid my profile on ok cupid after the guy I was dating broke up with me last week. I'm already getting quite a crazy mix of men contacting me.

What do you guys think of this one - he emailed me two days ago. I was working out of town, so I only had time to check his photos on my phone, and read the first graph of his profile. Everything seemed appealing, so I emailed him back a quick note, so that he wouldn't think I saw his profile and didn't want to talk to him, as is often assumed if you peek at a profile and don't immediately respond.

Well, five minutes later I read his entire profile. Further down, he said that he's got some very specific sexual fetishes and is looking for a woman to share in that with him. He mentioned roleplaying, costumes, and some other stuff that I forget right now. That was enough tho. I figured his fetishes had to be pretty darn strong ones for him to include even that much in his profile.

So I emailed him back and said I was sorry, that I had responded without reading his full profile, and after reading it, didn't think we were a match because of his fetishes. I thought that would do the trick and end things.

Well, it didn't. He emailed me again yesterday to ask me if I'm having luck with the other guys on the site. and then again this morning. And this morning he sent me an IM chat message. I blocked him at that point.

During all of this I ended up accidentally clicking on his profile again and noticed he'd completely removed any fetish mentions. Now it just says he's looking for a woman who is open sexually.

So, just had to share. It's interesting to me that he so quickly changed his profile to remove any fetish mention. I mean, really, seems like he should leave that so that he is more likely to find the few women who would be interested in exploring that with him.

Oh, and while on there, I also noticed a profile from a guy who I know locally, from real life, who is super cute and appealing, but last I knew, was married with three kids! I emailed him cause I knew he'd see my profile. He emailed me back. Said that yes, he's single now. (Last I knew his wife was cheating on him but he was trying to stick it out and make things work. Really good and decent guy.) But no talk about a date was mentioned. Darn it. I like that one! Had always hoped I'd have a shot if he ended up permanently single.
Last edited by scully98; February 12,2012 at 11:24am.
 
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TheThinker is offline TheThinker Post #2  February 12,2012, 11:22am
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scully98 wrote :

During all of this I ended up accidentally clicking on his profile again and noticed he'd completely removed any fetish mentions.
sure ya did....
so when are you meeting him??
 
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scully98 is offline scully98 Post #3  February 12,2012, 11:31am
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stop it!!! I am not meeting him! sweartogod. sheesh. give me some credit!

seriously. I found the whole thing kind of funny after he changed his profile to eliminate the fetish mentions. kinda like "oh, maybe she will think I was just kidding about all that stuff!" sigh.
 
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AndieIsMe is offline AndieIsMe — Advice Member-Moderator Post #4  February 12,2012, 11:38am
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I once sent a message to a guy who used an extremely vulgar phrase as his username on Match telling him just because of that I didn't want to have anything to do with him. A few hours later I noticed in my news feed on the site that he changed it. I think some men don't realize what a disservice to themselves they are doing by using crude language or including things that women just do NOT want to hear.

You basically educated this guy and he took notice. The pushiness is something else altogether.

Next time just say "sorry, there are things you list in your profile that clearly make us incompatible. Good luck on your search." Do not give them specifics. That just gives ammunition for arguing and reasoning and excuses.
 
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D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #5  February 12,2012, 11:38am
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It's a long shot, but maybe he was new and got a bunch of negativity and you were one of many who reacted negatively.

I agree with you, though, that he should be true to himself, and not pander to the largest possible audience.

It's touchy to convey sexual tastes, since women do tend to leap to the (false) conclusion that any sexual referance must mean a man is "only interested in sex." Thank goodness they can usually be persuaded once they see how fun it is!
 
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TheThinker is offline TheThinker Post #6  February 12,2012, 11:50am
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scully98 wrote :
stop it!!! I am not meeting him! sweartogod. sheesh. give me some credit!
you say no..

but your post says yes yes yes!....
 
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D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #7  February 12,2012, 11:55am
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Yes, Yes, Oh God YES ...
 
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scully98 is offline scully98 Post #8  February 12,2012, 11:57am
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what if by costumes he meant plushies????
 
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AndieIsMe is offline AndieIsMe — Advice Member-Moderator Post #9  February 12,2012, 12:00pm
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He could also mean sexy maid outfit.
 
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D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #10  February 12,2012, 12:01pm
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TheThinker wants to see your feet.
 
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