First night at my place together :)


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_westendgirl_ is online now _westendgirl_ Post #1  February 12,2012, 9:51am
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just remember that where ever you find yourself, there you are...

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This isn't really a question or anything. Just an update....

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So I've been dating this shy farmer (in another thread on another board)
It's been a slow process but each time we see each other it has moved a little bit forward.

This past week I wondered if I should have him over to my place for dinner and to watch a movie. Generally I would invite someone to my place at around date 3 or 4 - this was date 6. I wasn't sure if his shyness would make such an idea overwhelming for him as he told me two weeks ago that he prefers to move slowly.
Anyways - I took the plunge and asked him and he readily and happily accepted the invite. I was happy to hear this very male reaction to my invitation! lol

So while it didn't move to the "home run" stage ( I didn't really expect that nor quite feel ready with him yet to be honest) it did move to lots of cuddling and kissing and a great talk about seeing real potential for a LTR with each other.
I so enjoyed my time with him last night - it was slow and respectful with surprises along the way that made me aware that he is certainly not shy nor conventional in this department once he is at that stage

-----------------------------------------------------------------
I'm glad that I didn't next him which in the early stages I was thinking of doing.
I'm glad that for the first time in a long time I have been completely myself, listening to my gut. I have always moved too quickly, jumped to conclusions, nexted without a thought. Thankfully this time I didn't do those things. Because so far this has been worth it.

ps. ...Still waters DO run deep by the way!

Last edited by _westendgirl_; February 12,2012 at 10:01am.
 
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BabyYoda is offline BabyYoda Post #2  February 12,2012, 9:57am
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_westendgirl_ wrote :
This isn't really a question or anything. Just an update....

------------------------------------------------------------------
So I've been dating this shy farmer (in another thread on another board)
It's been a slow process but each time we see each other it has moved a little bit forward.

This past week I wondered if I should have him over to my place for dinner and to watch a movie. Generally I would invite someone to my place at around date 3 or 4 - this was date 6. I wasn't sure if his shyness would make such an idea overwhelming for him as he told me two weeks ago that he prefers to move slowly.
Anyways - I took the plunge and asked him and he readily and happily accepted the invite. I was happy to hear this very male reaction to my invitation! lol

So while it didn't move to the "home run" stage ( I didn't really expect that nor quite feel ready with him yet to be honest) it did move to lots of cuddling and kissing and a great talk about seeing real potential for a LTR with each other.
I so enjoyed my time with him last night - it was slow and respectful with surprises along the way that made me aware that he is certainly not shy nor conventional in this department once he is at that stage

-----------------------------------------------------------------
I'm glad that I didn't next him which in the early stages I was thinking of doing.
I'm glad that for the first time in a long time I have been completely myself, listening to my gut. I have always moved to quickly, jumped to conclusions, nexted without a thought. Thankfully this time I didn't do those things. Because so far this has been worth it.

ps. ...Still waters DO run deep by the way!


Good to read that things are going well between you and this gentleman. Keep up the good works and maybe things will turn into something special when the time is right.

B.Y.
 
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_westendgirl_ is online now _westendgirl_ Post #3  February 12,2012, 10:08am
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just remember that where ever you find yourself, there you are...

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Thanks B.Y
 
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dovegirl is online now dovegirl — Advice Member-Moderator Post #4  February 12,2012, 10:12am
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congrats! I read your other thread before and I remember thinking that I hoped you would keep him around
 
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D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #5  February 12,2012, 10:17am
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Yay !!!
 
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Wiseman2 is online now Wiseman2 Post #6  February 12,2012, 10:28am
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Great update.....glad it's turning out so nicely for you!
 
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BabyYoda is offline BabyYoda Post #7  February 12,2012, 10:29am
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_westendgirl_ wrote :
Thanks B.Y
You are very welcome.

B.Y.
 
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maffif is offline maffif Post #8  February 12,2012, 10:57am
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Thanks for the update! And I am glad it is going well!
 
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scully98 is offline scully98 Post #9  February 12,2012, 11:26am
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great news!
 
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_westendgirl_ is online now _westendgirl_ Post #10  February 12,2012, 1:12pm
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Thanks all!

I keep thinking that reading these boards since October has really helped me to see the different personalities in dating. My realization and appreciation that both men and women have fears and frustrations while going through "the process".
It's definitely made me more aware and while at first it made me more self-concsious of my actions I think now it has helped me to just work through each stage, checking in with myself, and then moving onward again.

One of the reasons I used to move quickly to intimacy (like in date 2) was that I didn't want to find out too late that we were incompatible in that department since it's incredibly important to me (Hey - I'm 45 and in my prime still!)
But looking back I think sometimes my date and I were incompatible because the issue came too soon. Especially in the cases of men who might have not dated in a long time etc.

With this guy, the thought has come up over the last few weeks - "what if he's a terrible kisser?" and "what if he won't do X or Y?"
In the end I've just told myself to relax and the answers will come when they come.
That pushing it TOO soon will probably make it it uncomfortable in this case as he is so shy.
So last night was perfect because he set the pace and he showed me who he is.
It was sweet and comfortable and certainly the precursor to the real thing.
Last edited by _westendgirl_; February 12,2012 at 1:32pm.
 
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