Men and chemistry, sex and emotion.


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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #21  February 8,2012, 5:47pm
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EccentricAmbiguity wrote :
A lot of people have asked on these boards how to create chemistry when there is a lack of one. My question is quite opposite and it is aimed at the men. I, as many women, cannot separate chemistry from emotion. They are interlinked. If I feel chemistry for a man its because I connect with them on all levels, not just a physical one. Now, it seems men have the ability to feel chemistry for a woman who he is not necessarily attracted to in other ways. My question for the guys is: is it really that easy for you to separate the emotion from sex? And, if you find a gal you are very attracted to physically but not in other ways what are the hang ups that prevent you from being emotional connected as well?
I am quite baffled by your question. You have connected "chemistry" to emotional attachment and something that can be defined. I have been on these boards for over 4 years now and the subject of what is "chemistry" has been a regular topic of discussion. Thus far no one has been able to provide a definition, it is all individual feelings and opinion.

It is well known, psychologically speaking, that sex is emotional for women and physical for men.
 
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alethea is offline alethea Post #22  February 8,2012, 7:01pm
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EccentricAmbiguity wrote :
what are the hang ups that prevent you from being emotional connected as well?
I asked my boyfriend this question for you but it was more like what makes a guy stop pursuing someone that he intended to pursue for a long time and I think he said something very insightful.

He said that the hang-up depends on the guy but the guy gets to a point that he realizes he is going to be frustrated by something and he does not want to deal with it. There is something happening now that makes him realize it is only going to get worse or it is never going away and it will be something that will forever frustrate him so he will walk.

That feels like it is truth to me. Not sure yet, but I think it is a very good theory.
 
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EccentricAmbiguity is online now EccentricAmbiguity Post #23  February 8,2012, 7:45pm
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alethea wrote :
I asked my boyfriend this question for you but it was more like what makes a guy stop pursuing someone that he intended to pursue for a long time and I think he said something very insightful.

He said that the hang-up depends on the guy but the guy gets to a point that he realizes he is going to be frustrated by something and he does not want to deal with it. There is something happening now that makes him realize it is only going to get worse or it is never going away and it will be something that will forever frustrate him so he will walk.

That feels like it is truth to me. Not sure yet, but I think it is a very good theory.
I think this is true as well. If it appears a losing battle or something the man can't fix with his manly-ness I agree that is often when men check out.
 
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alethea is offline alethea Post #24  February 8,2012, 8:20pm
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EccentricAmbiguity wrote :
If it appears a losing battle or something the man can't fix with his manly-ness I agree that is often when men check out.
I am not sure that is what he meant exactly. In a way it was since I assume someone wants to fix something that is causing frustration. But I think he meant more after that point, he gets to a point that he realizes this is not going to change or if it does change, it will be for the worse so he decides is this frustration something I want to live with or not.

If this keeps happening to a woman (things are going great and the guy seems like the committed type but it ends anyways), maybe they can see if their partners were frustrated with them and if it was always the same thing that was frustrating to their partners. If it was, she may be able to change it if she recognizes why she does it and assuming it is something she wants to change.

It could be helpful to know to look for frustration. People are looking for facebook status and online profiles being taken down to determine if the relationship is progressing but maybe they should look for signs that their partner finds it easy and enjoyable to be with them. I dunno...just meandering with my thoughts.
 
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NBdater is offline NBdater Post #25  February 9,2012, 3:40am
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EccentricAmbiguity wrote :
A lot of people have asked on these boards how to create chemistry when there is a lack of one. My question is quite opposite and it is aimed at the men. I, as many women, cannot separate chemistry from emotion. They are interlinked. If I feel chemistry for a man its because I connect with them on all levels, not just a physical one. Now, it seems men have the ability to feel chemistry for a woman who he is not necessarily attracted to in other ways. My question for the guys is: is it really that easy for you to separate the emotion from sex? And, if you find a gal you are very attracted to physically but not in other ways what are the hang ups that prevent you from being emotional connected as well?
Through evolution this is how we are wired in order to keep our dna going.
 
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