One's emotions can be helpful in pointing the way toward love—or as unreliable as a compass whose needle points in only one direction. That’s because lots of things influence our feelings. Sometimes they are based on logic. Sometimes they are influenced by fear. Sometimes we can’t pinpoint...
I will give HIGH praise to this article in the fact I don't see one ad or link to someplace else to buy something. It's just a read and think article...
I thought the article was okay, but this topic is a good one. I'd be interested in hearing what everyone's experiences in the past are with gut feelings.
I find it confusing, becasue there are instances when my gut feel was dead right and others when it was dead wrong, so I don't trust it very well at all. The guidelines in the article are things I have always considered and asked myself when trying to figure out if my gut is credible or baggage driven etc., but even then, it is elusive until a find facts to back up my gut feeling. I will say, that when I have been right it is the gut feeling that prompts me to go looking for the facts.
It depends on what you mean by 'gut'. If you are speaking purely of emotion, then I think letting your passion rule your reason is a sure road to folly. Emotions are very useful things for making split second life or death decisions... that is what they are for. When it comes to planning your life and relationship, they are less than helpful.
But 'gut' can also mean intuition, which is a way of coming to a conclusion without reasoning through every step beforehand. Studies (and my own personal experience) have shown that intuition is on the money more often than not. Often when we have an intuitive thought, or 'gut feeling', it is our brain working out a complex problem at a level below that of our awareness. The mind is much more powerful then we are usually aware of. I asked a room full of Newtonian mechanics students to calculate the motions, force, and timing required to catch a gently lobbed tennis ball... after 45 minutes not one of the thirty or so aspring physicists could do so. Then I picked up a tennis ball and tossed at one of them at random. They caught it. Without thought, without planning... purely by instinct. Your undermind is a powerful force... after all, the only thing that seperates the intelligent from the genius is intuition.
If you have a 'gut feeling' that you are sure is not the result of some emotional reaction or outburst, I'd say go with it.
Thinking about the topic, I wonder if it really matters if my gut instinct is accurate when assessing whether someone is date worthy or not. I believe that I will never know whether my instincts are accurate in regards to the outcome of any date situation unless I put myself out there and date.
My guess, based on observation and experience that some people I have encounter based their gut feeling about me or dating in general on fear as well as baggage they did not fully address prior to dating again. It is pure speculation, but I believe I am closer to being on point than not.
In conclusion, the article asked some valid questions. Decent read.
B.Y.
Sassafras54
— AdviceOfficial ModeratorPost #9
February 9,2012, 8:41am
The tennis ball story is a good analogy, RD, and that's how I interpret "gut feeling" -- a conclusion/sense of something that's a thought, not a feeling; though it will have feelings associated with it. "This guy/gal is bad news" is the thought and there is probably a feeling of unease, distrust, slight fear that goes with that.
The trick is separating out "this comes from a good basic instinct" from "this comes from baggage"!
Although I have ignored my gut at times, in hindsight it's always been right, in terms of recognizing bad choices.
OTOH ... I think it's possible my baggage-based gut reactions have kept me out of what might have been good choices. Who knows!
Always listen to it, anyway! I like this article, too.
Yep... I'm right with you Sass. When it comes to reading people, your instincts are usually more accurate than your reasoning. I've read that we form our opinion of people within ten seconds of meeting them, and spend the rest of the time we know them trying to validate that opinion. Holds up in my experience.
With a little self-awareness, one can figure out whether the instinctive response you have to someone new comes from a preconception that should probably be examined (baggage) or is actually a result of the person's 'vibe'.
^This is the better plan..
My experience has been that love usually comes along when you least expect it, and when your heart is open enough to let it in.
If you try to put a set time table on when ... –
TheThinker
As Ingy mentions ...he's good with the lines and multitasking relationships..
All anyone can say is: don't get played again...especially by the same guy twice... Move on to someone who is decisive ... –
lynntlb78
This varies based on your age, gender, location, settings, and 29 dimensions. My settings are fairly narrow and I've always gotten a steady stream of matches. But, my location seems to have a lot ... –
dmi
I'm extremely allergic to cats, plus I just don't like 'em. So I won't date someone with cats. Dogs, I love. But I'm attracted to certain types of dogs. A guy with a little yorkie turns me off.
... –
ZisaGirl
...and since you're Shaun Cassidy fan mitchell...this song is just for you!
"Da Doo Ron Ron"
I met her on a Monday
And my heart stood still
Da doo ron ron ron
Da doo ron ron
Somebody told me
That ... –
legend29
Creative Writing!: Creative writing, for people who love to write. Poetry, short stories, fiction, non-fiction, talk, chat, network, etc. Do you journal? What's your favorite book? Come on in and take it easy.
Moderator
Joined: Oct 2007
Pasadena, CA
Posts: 848
See profile
Naps are one of life's great joys:)
Power Poster
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,164
See profile
"In her Sunday shoes, with her Saturday feet...."
Veteran
Joined: Oct 2011
In the clouds.
Posts: 1,188
See profile
Naps are one of life's great joys:)
Power Poster
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,164
See profile
... is like a nice warm vibratey feeling all through your guttiwuts.
Virtuoso
Joined: Jan 2010
Toronto, Canada
Posts: 3,409
See profile
Veteran
Joined: Jul 2010
Venus, apparently
Posts: 1,524
See profile
w00t w00t! I is getting married! Success at last.
Enthusiast
Joined: Aug 2011
Louisville, KY
Posts: 693
See profile
Virtuoso
Joined: Aug 2010
Inland Empire, CA
Posts: 2,989
See profile
Your Community Coordinator
Moderator
Joined: Oct 2009
San Pedro, CA
Posts: 9,080
See profile
w00t w00t! I is getting married! Success at last.
Enthusiast
Joined: Aug 2011
Louisville, KY
Posts: 693
See profile
Looking for a Great Relationship?
Get started now. Fill out this form and take the questionnaire to receive your matches.
Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards
^This is the better plan.. My experience has been that love usually comes along when you least expect it, and when your heart is open enough to let it in. If you try to put a set time table on when ... – TheThinker
Join the Transition from dating to relationship discussion
As Ingy mentions ...he's good with the lines and multitasking relationships.. All anyone can say is: don't get played again...especially by the same guy twice... Move on to someone who is decisive ... – lynntlb78
Join the Reuniting with EX discussion
This varies based on your age, gender, location, settings, and 29 dimensions. My settings are fairly narrow and I've always gotten a steady stream of matches. But, my location seems to have a lot ... – dmi
Join the Different Strategy discussion
I'm extremely allergic to cats, plus I just don't like 'em. So I won't date someone with cats. Dogs, I love. But I'm attracted to certain types of dogs. A guy with a little yorkie turns me off. ... – ZisaGirl
Join the What about a "PET BOX" ?? again this sounds simple or?? discussion
If you get the opportunity, yes. – ThePriestess
Join the Should I ever date in college? discussion
...and since you're Shaun Cassidy fan mitchell...this song is just for you! "Da Doo Ron Ron" I met her on a Monday And my heart stood still Da doo ron ron ron Da doo ron ron Somebody told me That ... – legend29
Join the Robin Gibbs Dead at 62...How Deep is Your Love? discussion