AwesomeOne23 is offline AwesomeOne23 Post #1  February 6,2012, 10:56pm
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In this day and age, we have so many ways to communicate with people and one of the most famous devices is the cell phone which offers text messaging or calling. I'm a huge texter but I heard rumor that texting can be a major turn off when it comes to dating because it makes you appear shy or uninterested. Would you say this is true? It's not that I'm shy or uninterested I just prefer texting because I hate talking on the phone. But if your going out with someone is it better to talk to them or text them?
 
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luciddreams is offline luciddreams Post #2  February 6,2012, 11:14pm
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I'm interested in the discussion on this topic. I have heard a lot of women say that they prefer 'hearing someone's voice' or 'someone who has the confidence to pick up the phone and call them rather than hide behind the text message', but I have had those same women not pick up calls when I try to reach them but instead respond instantaneously to text messages.

It seems like its more about convenience - text messages are, for the lack of a less technical term, asynchronous - you are not placed on the spot and can take your time to craft a response at a time and place of your choosing. Especially during the early dating phases -- some people might find talking on the phone a little awkward.
 
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ami1uwant is offline ami1uwant Post #3  February 6,2012, 11:31pm
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Dont text in lieu of talking. use the phone and talk to each other.

The only purpose for texting in the early stages of dating are to ask quick questions that they dont have to respond to you right then.

Other than basic questions/topics...like texting her at lunch saying "I need to push our date to 6pm because of a late meeting that came up".

Other text messages miss important aspects of saying it in the way you say it which can change your meaning.
 
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tink333 is offline tink333 — Advice Member-Moderator Post #4  February 6,2012, 11:48pm
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I have noticed that the younger folks (20's) seem to engage in texting more than the older folks. Texting may be great between friends, but I don't recommend utilizing it at the beginning of a matching situation. Remember, the goal is to get to first meeting, so exchange phone numbers and make the first call to set up the first meeting.

After that, if you decide on a second or more dates, you both can decide how best you like to communicate.
 
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NikkNakk is offline NikkNakk Post #5  February 7,2012, 3:36am
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I am like the OP. I hate talking on the phone and would rather text message for the most part. I do like to confirm plans on the phone to make sure I know we are still on for the date, time and location. Those things can very easily get misconstrued over text messages. I believe everyone is different and it is what is convenient for the matches.
 
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SteveManchesterEngland is offline SteveManchesterEngland Post #6  February 7,2012, 6:21am
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do whatever you're both into. and... don't text someone who doesn't like texting and..... don't phone someone who doesn't like phone chats!
 
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Lenci2525 is offline Lenci2525 Post #7  February 7,2012, 6:49am
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I work as a customer service rep so I talk all day long so I text a lot more than I talk when it comes to personal phone calls. I just get tired of talking, to some people I will call automatically because I know they don't answer texts quick enough but I generally will text. It annoyed my bf when we first started dating but I'm really busy most of the time so I don't have time to talk most of the time. I'm trying to break the habit of texting but it's hard cuz it more convenient to shoot a quick text.
 
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boschimsp is offline boschimsp — Advice Member-Moderator Post #8  February 7,2012, 7:22am
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I think it is very much a matter of personal preference. And will also say (as someone who is one of those twenty-somethings) that just because I am an avid texter does not mean I prefer it in all instances. For me it's great for scheduling and things that require just a quick immediate answer. But if I want to have a more in-depth conversation I MUCH prefer a telephone call.

I think the notion that a match is dodging phone calls but responding to texts quickly is a hard one. I would say that it could be a reflection of interest, but recognize that some people aren't much into the phone or that when someone is busy responding to a text is a lot easier than having a phone conversation.
 
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pink_tulip is offline pink_tulip Post #9  February 7,2012, 9:23am
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You are going to find many different points of view regarding this...

I guess we have to find a balance between both, for instance I believe when you are in the early stages of communication texting is not the best choice to plan dates or to be used as the only mean of communication.

I personally keep texting to the minimum and find it annoying when a guy texts me all the time ... if he has something important to say he can call me...but that's just me.

Do whatever feels comfortable or ask your matches what their preferences are...
 
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PG-13 is offline PG-13 Post #10  February 7,2012, 9:51am
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I much prefer the phone, but when people tell me they don't like the phone, I generally suggest some sort of instant messenger (gmail or yahoo or facebook or whatever)... my wee touch screen phone and my big hands make it tough to super efficiently text for an extended conversation.
 
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