It rhymes with the word "Agape"


Reply
 
Topic Tools Search this Thread
Ingytravel is offline Ingytravel Post #41  February 9,2012, 10:44am
Ingytravel's Avatar

Naps are one of life's great joys:)

Power Poster

Joined: Mar 2009

Posts: 8,164

See profile

Faraday wrote :
I think what works for some people, doesn't work for others. What is good for some is damaging to others...we're all unique.

Sometimes, when there is a great enough connection, people say things they don't normally say and perhaps things that aren't entirely appropriate but it feels right.

We don't know this girl, we can't speculate on her motives or mental health...

The whole thread is about speculating about her!! LOL...That is why the OP came on here...to get opinions and thoughts on what happened as it certainly struck him odd that someone would do this on a first date...

As I said...I don't think there is a therapist out there that would recommend she do this with a complete stranger on a first date...

That is not healthy as she doesn't know who she is telling this story to and it could actually be dangerous with someone who is not kind or is manipulative....They could totally take advantage of her in an emotionally weak state of mind....

That's why my personal opinion would be that she needs more time and doesn't seem ready to be dating....as others can certainly disagree and the OP choose what he wants...
 
  Reply With Quote
EccentricAmbiguity is online now EccentricAmbiguity Post #42  February 9,2012, 11:02am
EccentricAmbi…'s Avatar

"In her Sunday shoes, with her Saturday feet...."

Veteran

Joined: Oct 2011

In the clouds.

Posts: 1,188

See profile

Ingytravel wrote :
The whole thread is about speculating about her!! LOL...That is why the OP came on here...to get opinions and thoughts on what happened as it certainly struck him odd that someone would do this on a first date...

As I said...I don't think there is a therapist out there that would recommend she do this with a complete stranger on a first date...

That is not healthy as she doesn't know who she is telling this story to and it could actually be dangerous with someone who is not kind or is manipulative....They could totally take advantage of her in an emotionally weak state of mind....

That's why my personal opinion would be that she needs more time and doesn't seem ready to be dating....as others can certainly disagree and the OP choose what he wants...
Again, I agree. Imagine if she were still saying this on first dates 10 years down the road, would that seem right? There is a reason this is on the tip of her tounge and it is most likely because she has not gotten to a place where it no longer defines her. By mentioning this on a first date is saying that this trauma defines her as a person. There is much to be worked through.

Edited to add: I have mentioned in my previous post but will mention again, it is common for women who have been vicitimized by men sexually to attempt to gain the immediate attention and condolences from men as a way to validate their feelings of being a victim and to be reminded that not all men will victimize. It is not a healthy place to be and hope she is able to work through it with time.
Last edited by EccentricAmbiguity; February 9,2012 at 11:06am.
 
  Reply With Quote
Faraday is online now Faraday Post #43  February 9,2012, 11:02am
Faraday's Avatar

Say you gotta leave, but I know you wanna stay

Veteran

Joined: Nov 2009

Posts: 1,188

See profile

Ingytravel wrote :

That's why my personal opinion would be that she needs more time and doesn't seem ready to be dating....as others can certainly disagree and the OP choose what he wants...
I was just expressing my opinion as well Ingy

My response was to the concrete sounding opinions below...It just sounded very black and white to me...I was just trying to point out that we don't know her or her side of this. Life is grey and there are 5 sides to every story

Ingytravel wrote :
I can't keep saying enough...you do NOT do this on a first date!! Plain and simple...
The OP as well as the woman in question does not sound like someone who has casual sex on the first date....

This is something that if she needs to discuss with him at all...should be WAY down the road when they are thinking of becoming intimate....

I don't care how wonderful the connection is on that first date.....this just shows that she is either not ready to be dating...(which I truly think)...or does not have a filter or know appropriate boundaries to be discussing such things to a complete stranger she knows for a few hours....

I don't think any therapist that would be helping someone get over this type of trauma would urge her to talk about this with a man on a first date....
 
  Reply With Quote
Ingytravel is offline Ingytravel Post #44  February 9,2012, 11:12am
Ingytravel's Avatar

Naps are one of life's great joys:)

Power Poster

Joined: Mar 2009

Posts: 8,164

See profile

Faraday wrote :
I was just expressing my opinion as well Ingy

My response was to the concrete sounding opinions below...It just sounded very black and white to me...I was just trying to point out that we don't know her or her side of this. Life is grey and there are 5 sides to every story
I get ya....Yes...I do agree that I feel pretty black and white about this as far as discussing on a first date...As I wrote...it could actually be dangerous for her to say this to a complete stranger who could be manipulative to her...

And your right, I happen to believe that if she is truly healed...than she shouldn't be needing to express this at all....but if she needs to...than don't do it with complete strangers....that's the grey area to me...to tell or not to tell....but not the "when"....Do this once you truly know the man...and really trust him to share such an intimate and painful experience.

I do respect other's opinions on this even if it doesn't seem that way....When I am speaking strongly...that is for myself and my own view on the subject...not that everyone should agree with me...Thankfully most people know me now in that I can get quite bold with my thoughts......LOL...
 
  Reply With Quote
Reply


« When to bring up the big c? | Dating | So this guy walks into a bar . . . »
Topic Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new topics
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

Similar Topics
Topic Topic Starter Board Replies Last Post
Word of God vs Words of men about God Cloud_Strife Christian Singles 8 April 3,2011 4:30pm
What was your very first word? eHA_Admin_Lori Chit Chat 12 November 13,2010 6:28pm
the naughty word filter. scarlet13 Talk to your Community Team 29 July 6,2010 3:50pm
Divorce & Remarriage - Slight Twist meri75 Christian Singles 28 June 14,2010 5:57pm
the NAME? notyet Christian Singles 5 November 27,2009 6:28pm

Looking for a Great Relationship?

Get started now. Fill out this form and take the questionnaire to receive your matches.

First Name:

I'm a:
seeking

Postal Code:

Country:

Email:

Confirm Email:

Password:


How did you hear about us?


Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards

“ ^This is the better plan.. My experience has been that love usually comes along when you least expect it, and when your heart is open enough to let it in. If you try to put a set time table on when ... ” –  TheThinker

Join the “Transition from dating to relationship” discussion

“ As Ingy mentions ...he's good with the lines and multitasking relationships.. All anyone can say is: don't get played again...especially by the same guy twice... Move on to someone who is decisive ... ” –  lynntlb78

Join the “Reuniting with EX” discussion

“This varies based on your age, gender, location, settings, and 29 dimensions. My settings are fairly narrow and I've always gotten a steady stream of matches. But, my location seems to have a lot ... ” –  dmi

Join the “Different Strategy” discussion

“I'm extremely allergic to cats, plus I just don't like 'em. So I won't date someone with cats. Dogs, I love. But I'm attracted to certain types of dogs. A guy with a little yorkie turns me off. ... ” –  ZisaGirl

Join the “What about a "PET BOX" ?? again this sounds simple or??” discussion

“If you get the opportunity, yes.” –  ThePriestess

Join the “Should I ever date in college?” discussion

“...and since you're Shaun Cassidy fan mitchell...this song is just for you! "Da Doo Ron Ron" I met her on a Monday And my heart stood still Da doo ron ron ron Da doo ron ron Somebody told me That ... ” –  legend29

Join the “Robin Gibbs Dead at 62...How Deep is Your Love?” discussion



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 7:08am.

Discussion Boards Archive

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2012, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.6.0