Won't take "no" for an answer


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Bethiegirl is offline Bethiegirl Post #21  February 6,2012, 5:31pm
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nv1983 wrote :
What, exactly led you to next both of these guys? I'm a little curious.
Well, guy #1 spent most of the 90 minute phone call talking about his favorite subject...Himself! I couldn't get a word in edgewise, and every time he bothered to ask ME a question, I barely got through one sentence before he cut me off and started talking about himself again. The last 30 minutes of the phone call involved him reading bits and pieces of things he'd written over the years, always followed by the question "Isn't that really good? Such deep thoughts, right?" Uh, yeah. Right. I also found out that we had some significant differences in theological beliefs (we are both Christians, but different denominations) that would end up being dealbreakers if we got serious with our relationship.

Guy #2 was someone that I hadn't really wanted to communicate with in the first place because of his vague profile, but he initiated GC and I decided to give him a chance. Turned out that we had very different ideas of what we wanted in life, and he had a serious problem with bitterness towards a lot of people in his life. He kept saying how everyone blamed him for this and that, how he was left holding the bag, how people treat him like dirt, how his family just doesn't understand him, etc. He also wanted to find a girl who lived far away from him because he wanted to move away from his hometown asap. I decided that I didn't want to be his ticket out of town, and neither did I want to have to deal with all of his very obvious emotional baggage.
Last edited by Bethiegirl; February 7,2012 at 3:58am. Reason: Couldn't spell...
 
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smileygirl is offline smileygirl Post #22  February 6,2012, 6:50pm
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harnomygirl wrote :
His problem was being too pushy. Now he's being pushy about saying he'll never be pushy again.

It shouldn't have been unexpected, based on her previous interaction with him.

I hope the OP has managed to shake him off now.
You and NV13 are right, there is a difference between "leading" or "pursuing" and being pushy and/or needy. He was the latter.

I don't think he was dangerous - I have had experience with that, but what a turn off - especially being pushy about not being pushy. You are spot on there.
 
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scandalous is offline scandalous Post #23  February 6,2012, 8:47pm
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smileygirl,

I had the same thing happen to me, sort of, where this one guy was so persistent and aggressive (after I specifically told him that I do not date aggressive men). He did not start to show his true colors until after we reached the phone converstation stage. During a conversation, he blatantly asked me if I was seeing anyone else besides him. I corrected him in that I reminded him that we had not yet met in person, so I was not "seeing" him. He then kept asking about other men, which I told him it was not any of his business at that point.

I asked him why it was so important for him to know this, and he said that he had to be sure that he "put himself up on top, by making sure I knew that he was not going to go away." He went on to say that he wanted to date me, so that I could be his girlfriend, we would fall in love, and then, if God felt it was right (we are both Christians), we could get married.

I have been ignoring him ever since, but it's only been about a week since the conversation.
 
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