KikiAZ is offline KikiAZ Post #21  February 6,2012, 8:03am
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melvimbe wrote :
Just out of curiosity, I'm wondering when men and women think about then traditional male and female roles other then just picking up the check? Is it a positive, indifference, ok but uncomfortable, or just down right negative?
I would say that when in search of a LTR I am much more traditional then if looking for something more light hearted (like right after a divorce). In fact, most of my answers are totally different for that...

A woman asking a guy out for a first date?
A little uncomfortable. I prefer if she just let's me know she's interested and let's me lead from there.

I prefer that he ask me, although I've been known to flutter my eyelashes.

A woman doing the driving on a 1st/2nd date?
ok, but a little uncomfortable. I like to drive.
Generally drive myself.

A woman proposing to her man?
I have no idea. In some respects, that takes pressure off getting an expensive ring
General talk about the future but not a proposal.

A woman planning the dates?
I am perfectly fine with this
Yes, after date 2 probably, but not always. The key is I want I guy who is an active part of the process...neither controlling all decisions nor totally complacent.

A woman making the first moves physically?
fine with this too
For an ltr situation, I want to know he is attracted to me and willing to make the step. I may touch him, flutter eyelashes, but I do not want to be with someone ambivilent or where I am the aggressor.

A woman being older then her man?
I'm just as concerned about being older then me as I am with being younger then me.

I have dated very very young, but not for LTR purposes. For LTR purposes, within 5 years plus or minus.


A woman being taller then her man?
I'm 6'3....probably never going to happen.
Ha. I am 5'2

A woman being the larger wage earner?
I'm uncomfortable with this, but warming up to it. I think of myself as bringing financial security, so I have trouble realizing that I have other things to offer. I'm warming up to the idea of being a 'boy toy'

Not for LTR purposes.

A woman who is set financially, looking for a 'trophy husband'?
Don't think I could handle this. Nor could I really go for a trophy wife.
NO. Absolutely not.

A woman being more into sports/hunting etc (traditional male activities) then her man?
I would be concerned that she doesn't consider me manly enough. I would love to try out some of her activities, but would not want to feel like she wants me to be more manly.
I am pretty active. I wouldn't like a man more fussy or prissy than I am.


A woman who's more ambitious, career wise, then her man?
This would concern me. My issue, questioning my own ambition. I'd also be concerned that she'd put her career above relationship/family
No.

I don't think there's wrong answers to this, and I don't have any hidden agenda I plan on springing later on. Purely educational purposes.
See above in green.
 
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needbeachnow is offline needbeachnow Post #22  February 6,2012, 9:29am
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A woman asking a guy out for a first date?
I've done this before when I knew the guy wouldn't, but I would rather the guy ask.

A woman doing the driving on a 1st/2nd date?
After I'm ok with him knowing where I live I like the guy driving, but I'm ok taking turns.

A woman proposing to her man?
Nope- I would never do this.

A woman planning the dates?
Yeah- taking turns works for me


A woman making the first moves physically?
I have to do what needs to be done sometimes if they are shy or nervous- =)


A woman being older then her man?
I think it depends on the guy- I would rather date older though.


A woman being taller then her man?
I'm 5'9'' so it's nice to feel smaller than the man, but I'm ok with being the same height if they are.


A woman being the larger wage earner?
I don't make enough to be a sugar mama- I can take care of myself just fine though =)


A woman who is set financially, looking for a 'trophy husband'?
To each their own, but I wouldn't do this


A woman being more into sports/hunting etc (traditional male activities) then her man?
I like cars, but most guys are into cars so that hasn't been a problem. But other then that- I like girly stuff.

A woman who's more ambitious, career wise, then her man?
I think it's fine- if it works in their relationship then I don't see a problem.
Last edited by needbeachnow; February 6,2012 at 9:31am.
 
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dmi is online now dmi Post #23  February 6,2012, 10:45am
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I had to stop and think about this for a while. The easy answer would be to say everything is fine, but, that's not exactly right.

Answers below in random colors because I know how much people like them, especially colors that are difficult to read.


A woman asking a guy out for a first date?
The issue here is whether I'm potentially interested or not. If I am, but, haven't really thought about her in that way, then it's all good. If I'm not remotely interested, then it makes me uncomfortable. I guess after a while women get used to shooting guys down. Not so much for me.

Ultimately, I like it better if she gives not-so-subtle hints so I don't have to deal with rejecting them.

A woman doing the driving on a 1st/2nd date?
No problem at all here. Either way works just fine for me.

A woman proposing to her man?
Mutual agreement or me asking here. I don't like being put on the spot like that. I don't like putting her on the spot either, so, I'd be pretty sure of the answer before I asked.

A woman planning the dates?
Think this should be shared. I don't like the idea of her wanting to do something, but, I have to do all the planning (or vice versa).

A woman making the first moves physically?
If I'm going too slow for her, she should do something about it. Just that she needs to be aware enough to realize if I'm receptive vs pulling away. Generally speaking, it works better if I initiate, since I'm usually the one that prefers a slower pace.

A woman being older then her man?
A few years either direction doesn't matter. I'm more open to much younger than I am to much older. Just one of those stage of life things. There are a lot of women much younger looking to start a family. Most of the women in their late 40s+, not so much.

A woman being taller then her man?
I'm 5'9". There aren't that many that are more than a couple inches taller. I know women that are 6' and that isnt' an issue as the height is close enough to still be comfortable. I know one woman that is like 6'5" and I have a hard time seeing that happening.

A woman being the larger wage earner?
I have a pretty good income, so, it isn't very likely that I'd run into a situation where I simply couldn't afford things that she could and is interested in. To be honest, if she's wanting multi million dollar houses and cars that cost 6 figures, she's not going to match with me in general. I doubt this would be a problem for me.

A woman who is set financially, looking for a 'trophy husband'?
I wouldn't make a very good trophy.

A woman being more into sports/hunting etc (traditional male activities) then her man?
Actually, it's kinda nice for a change when you can chat about why our quarterback stinks without having her eyes roll back into her head. There are some "male" activities that I'm just not interested in (like hunting) but I don't see how that's any different from any other activity I'm not interested in.

A woman who's more ambitious, career wise, then her man?
Main concern here would be a woman that is a workaholic. I'm not super ambitious, so, there is some room for her to be "more" ambitious and still be well balanced.
 
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eharmonyjc is offline eharmonyjc Post #24  February 6,2012, 11:35am
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My thoughts:

A woman asking a guy out for a first date?
I've done it before in the online dating sense when it didn't feel like the guy would ask, but I prefer it if a guy takes the lead.

A woman doing the driving on a 1st/2nd date?
I did this a few times when I lived in Chicago, because I had a car and the guy didn't. Some guys didn't like it, one even said he would have thought I would just hand him the keys to my car so he could drive But, now that I don't find myself in that situation anymore, I like the guy to drive

A woman proposing to her man?
For me, absolutely not.

A woman planning the dates?
Sure, why not. I think it's good to take turns, but I also still keep in mind what the other person would like to do, not just plan stuff that I'd like to do.


A woman making the first moves physically?
Not really my style. Maybe I'd initiate a first kiss but that's about it, at least early on.


A woman being older then her man?
Sure, as long as it works for the people involved.


A woman being taller then her man?
I'm only 5'3" so I haven't run into this problem. Might be a bit odd though.


A woman being the larger wage earner?
I've had this in the past. I didn't mind it as long as he didn't expect me to foot the bill all the time or buy his cigarettes and beer for him (happened). Now that I'm a bit older and wanting to have kids and possibly work only part time or stay at home full time with them, I think I wouldn't want to be the main breadwinner. I grew up with my mom being the larger wage earner though.


A woman who is set financially, looking for a 'trophy husband'?
Not my style at all, but if someone else is OK with that, whatever.


A woman being more into sports/hunting etc (traditional male activities) then her man?
I've never ran into this problem. I enjoy "manly" activities from time to time, I've never dated a guy who was less into it than I was. Never been into the prissy metrosexual type of guy.

A woman who's more ambitious, career wise, then her man?
Not OK, huge turn off for me when a guy isn't ambitious and motivated.

I too have found I have become more more traditional, gender role-wise than I was a few years ago, now that I'm ready to settle down and get married etc.
 
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paintandbooks is offline paintandbooks Post #25  February 6,2012, 12:25pm
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melvimbe wrote :
Just out of curiosity, I'm wondering when men and women think about then traditional male and female roles other then just picking up the check? Is it a positive, indifference, ok but uncomfortable, or just down right negative?

A woman asking a guy out for a first date?

I've done this now and then, and think nothing of it, but usually it's the guy who does the asking.

A woman doing the driving on a 1st/2nd date?

I've done this in a couple of odd circumstances - but I'd rather he drive so I can concentrate on flirting with him!

A woman proposing to her man?

For others, it's none of my concern. For myself, I'd rather have the fairytale.

A woman planning the dates?

In the beginning he needs to do it, or I would think he is incapable, boring or not sufficiently interested in me. After that, I like taking turns.

A woman making the first moves physically?

Mutual cuing seems wise!

A woman being older then her man?

I know couples where the woman is 10 plus years older, and they seem great, but my comfort zone is 3 years either way. My ex was 3 years younger - that's my most comfortable match in life so far.

A woman being taller then her man?

I'm 5'7", and I feel more feminine when the guy is 4 or more inches taller - and that's what I've ended up dating. But I've had a few bosses who were my height, or 5'7 to 5'10, that I thought were wildly attractive, so maybe factors other than height can constitute "masculinity" to my subliminal self...

A woman being the larger wage earner?

This wouldn't bother me, if we had a lot in common otherwise.

A woman who is set financially, looking for a 'trophy husband'?

I prefer partners, competent and interesting ones. Boytoys and househusbands do not appeal at all.

A woman being more into sports/hunting etc (traditional male activities) then her man?

Have guns. Will travel.

A woman who's more ambitious, career wise, then her man?

I'm sort of the mad scientist/absent-minded professor type (though my field is neither science nor academia), and I have fit best with men much more linear than myself, and that has generally also included his level of ambition exceeding mine.

I don't think there's wrong answers to this, and I don't have any hidden agenda I plan on springing later on. Purely educational purposes.
This was fun, Melvimbe! Thanks for the thread!
Last edited by paintandbooks; February 6,2012 at 2:21pm.
 
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tangochef is offline tangochef Post #26  February 6,2012, 2:15pm
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melvimbe wrote :
Just out of curiosity, I'm wondering when men and women think about then traditional male and female roles other then just picking up the check? Is it a positive, indifference, ok but uncomfortable, or just down right negative?

A woman asking a guy out for a first date?
I don't have an issue with this. Mostly though it has been indirect in that I have been approached in the past (by non-professionals ), and then took the lead from there.

 A woman doing the driving on a 1st/2nd date?
I am fine with either.

 A woman proposing to her man?
I'd prefer a discussion or a hint, but I'd want to do the asking.

 A woman planning the dates?
I'd actually want to share this after a few dates.

A woman making the first moves physically?
If she is not drunk I am fine with this. If she is, then it makes me uncomfortable.

A woman being older then her man?
Hmmm, not going to happen with me.

A woman being taller then her man?
I'm 6', though the only issue I have with this is stealing that first kiss when she has heels on .

A woman being the larger wage earner?
I would not care, though the odds of this happening are very miniscule.

A woman who is set financially, looking for a 'trophy husband'?
See above. Also, at my age I don't think I'd be anybody's boy toy.

A woman being more into sports/hunting etc (traditional male activities) then her man?
That would be great to have company on my hunt at Zimbabwe next year .

A woman who's more ambitious, career wise, then her man?
As long as she is not a workaholic. I've learned to balance work and life, and I'd want someone at the same page.

...
Good survey.
 
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lunabeach is offline lunabeach Post #27  February 6,2012, 3:58pm
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melvimbe wrote :
Just out of curiosity, I'm wondering when men and women think about then traditional male and female roles other then just picking up the check? Is it a positive, indifference, ok but uncomfortable, or just down right negative?

A woman asking a guy out for a first date?
I've never needed to - it either felt organic or he asked. If I wanted to I would - I expressed very clearly to my boyfriend that I wanted a second date before the first ended and he was thrilled

A woman doing the driving on a 1st/2nd date?
I've never thought about it. I drive, he drives, who cares. We do seem to use my boyfriend's car more often, but that's b/c mine didn't have a passenger seatbelt for ages.

A woman proposing to her man?
Again, I could see it being an organic, mutual decision where it isn't just one person driving it. I pretty much expect that actually.

A woman planning the dates?
I can and do. Again, doesn't feel like gender-bending just a natural event.


A woman making the first moves physically?
lol. My poor boyfriend. He was being so gentlemanly and slow that I couldn't take it and pretty much jumped him. He didn't mind at all.


A woman being older then her man?
At my age, much of an age difference either way is difficult. 5 yrs younger is 22 - just graduating college, almost no real-world experience (just getting off mommy/daddy's teat, maybe). 32 may be in a rush for kids; my bf is about this age and we discussed early that this wasn't a driving goal for me and that it wasn't his primary goal in dating either.


A woman being taller then her man?
I'm 5'9". It has happened. I'm liking my very tall man and I didn't expect it.


A woman being the larger wage earner?
Mah, who cares? Nothing is a guarantee - everyone should be able to support him/herself b/c you never know when you will have to and more.


A woman who is set financially, looking for a 'trophy husband'?
I'm looking for equal distribution of power. Paying bills as a function of the relationship can only be about control.


A woman being more into sports/hunting etc (traditional male activities) then her man?
Like any hobby, better if it's shared or the person has a network in place to share it with. I'd rather have a level of interest within the range of my partner on big interests - someone who attends every home game or w/e is probably not going to have a lot in common with me. My boyfriend likes to go to attend some events/go to a bar for big games and that's a level of interest I can match.

A woman who's more ambitious, career wise, then her man?
Again, meh. Depends on the people. I would prefer there not be a large disparity in this category as well. So long as we're in the same relative range, who cares? A big difference would speak to other incompatibilities - career goals match values.
Interesting, but one sided. It's all about the woman being gender atypical.

What about the romantic man who is more likely to remember the anniversary? Or a man who cries? Or a man who would like to stay home and raise his kids? Etc, etc. There's nothing wrong with those things - lots of men would identify with them (just like many women aren't strictly gender conforming), they just don't line up to what we're told a man does.
Last edited by lunabeach; February 6,2012 at 4:00pm.
 
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ForwardUntoDawn is offline ForwardUntoDawn Post #28  February 6,2012, 4:16pm
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A woman asking a guy out for a first date?
Awesome !

A woman doing the driving on a 1st/2nd date?
Do not Care

A woman proposing to her man?
I do not know on that one it would, be wired

A woman planning the dates?
No problem there

A woman making the first moves physically?
That is really hot


A woman being older then her man?
Sure!


A woman being taller then her man?
I am 6'1' I have dated a women who was 6'8 thouhg, and loved to were heels


A woman being the larger wage earner?
Do not care


A woman who is set financially, looking for a 'trophy husband'?
That sound like I will be trapped in a case I don not like confinement


A woman being more into sports/hunting etc (traditional male activities) then her man?
That could be fun

A woman who's more ambitious, career wise, then her man?
I would love to meet someone who more ambitious than myself
 
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jimmyh452 is offline jimmyh452 Post #29  February 7,2012, 8:11am
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melvimbe wrote :
Just out of curiosity, I'm wondering when men and women think about then traditional male and female roles other then just picking up the check? Is it a positive, indifference, ok but uncomfortable, or just down right negative?

A woman asking a guy out for a first date?
Sure, why not?

A woman doing the driving on a 1st/2nd date?
Eh who cares? I do like to drive but I'm cool with using her gas.

A woman proposing to her man?
No way. I'd say no even if I wanted to marry her.

A woman planning the dates?
some of them ok, not all of them.


A woman making the first moves physically?
ok with me


A woman being older then her man?
a year or two. I'm not into cougars.


A woman being taller then her man?
My GF is a little taller than me. I couldn't care less.


A woman being the larger wage earner?
Can I be a stay at home dad? Heck yea I'd do that!


A woman who is set financially, looking for a 'trophy husband'?
no thanks


A woman being more into sports/hunting etc (traditional male activities) then her man?
I doubt such a woman exists.

A woman who's more ambitious, career wise, then her man?
Depends how ambitious. I want someone to start a family with. I have no interest in ending up with someone who works 80 hours a week.


I don't think there's wrong answers to this, and I don't have any hidden agenda I plan on springing later on. Purely educational purposes.

answers in blue
 
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insertscreenname is offline insertscreenname Post #30  February 7,2012, 8:14am
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lunabeach wrote :
Interesting, but one sided. It's all about the woman being gender atypical.

What about the romantic man who is more likely to remember the anniversary? Or a man who cries? Or a man who would like to stay home and raise his kids? Etc, etc. There's nothing wrong with those things - lots of men would identify with them (just like many women aren't strictly gender conforming), they just don't line up to what we're told a man does.
Start a survey thread luna! This has been a good one, I think one focused the other way would be interesting too.
 
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