Novice Dater: should I contact him first?


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snoozrn is offline snoozrn Post #1  February 2,2012, 2:00pm
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I will start off by saying that I am new to the whole dating scene so I'm not sure what the "rules" are. I'm in my mid-twenties but haven't dated much for multiple reasons, mainly that I have been focused on my career path.

I went out on a first date on Sunday with a guy I met in real life. We really hit it off, conversation was easy, ended in a kiss. He mentioned a few times during the date that we should see each other again. I agreed. However, I have yet to hear from him. Does this mean he isn't really interested in me?

I was thinking about sending him a text. Something like "Just wanted to let you know I had a great time the other night. We should get together again soon." Is this appropriate? Does this sound needy or too forward?

All suggestions are welcome. Confused and need help.
 
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eharmonyjc is offline eharmonyjc Post #2  February 2,2012, 2:19pm
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I don't think it sounds too needy or forward. To be honest, you probably should have sent him a text on Monday or Tuesday. So, I would go ahead and text him, but instead of saying "we should get together again soon", you should say "Let's get together soon, what does your schedule look like for this weekend/next week?" Take a bit of initiative
 
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Goomph is offline Goomph — Advice Member-Moderator Post #3  February 2,2012, 3:38pm
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I love it when my dates take the initiative ! What are you waiting for ? Text him, and oh, also please give us an update, we are a curious bunch here
 
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VB_Girl is offline VB_Girl Post #4  February 2,2012, 4:24pm
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I agree with the others. Send him a text inviting him to do something specific. I had a great time, would you like to meet for dinner (or whatever) on X night. Hopefully he'll say yes or propose an alternative if he is busy.

Good luck!
 
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nick222 is offline nick222 Post #5  February 2,2012, 5:15pm
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I'll make it 4-0 in favor of contacting him if you want to see him. Be yourself, pursue seeing someone when you like them, and don't worry about "rules".
 
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ami1uwant is offline ami1uwant Post #6  February 2,2012, 5:22pm
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Contact him....
 
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Reverse_Dragon is offline Reverse_Dragon Post #7  February 2,2012, 6:03pm
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I agree... and I second what VB added. Suggest something specific. If he doesn't like the proposed activity he'll offer a counter suggestion, which we'll make him feel like he's making some of the decisions. I won't speak for other guys, but I enjoy feeling like I'm in charge sometimes, even though it's an illusion 99% percent of the time.
 
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FairOne is offline FairOne Post #8  February 3,2012, 5:10am
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Yes, text him. He indicated interest when he said he wanted to do something again soon. It's not too much to show him that you are interested too and weren't just saying yes on the date to be polite.
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #9  February 3,2012, 5:50am
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snoozrn wrote :
I will start off by saying that I am new to the whole dating scene so I'm not sure what the "rules" are. I'm in my mid-twenties but haven't dated much for multiple reasons, mainly that I have been focused on my career path.

I went out on a first date on Sunday with a guy I met in real life. We really hit it off, conversation was easy, ended in a kiss. He mentioned a few times during the date that we should see each other again. I agreed. However, I have yet to hear from him. Does this mean he isn't really interested in me?

I was thinking about sending him a text. Something like "Just wanted to let you know I had a great time the other night. We should get together again soon." Is this appropriate? Does this sound needy or too forward?

All suggestions are welcome. Confused and need help.
First off don't text him! Forget that you even have text! Use your phone for the purpose that phones were invented, call him!!! If you send me a text it will never be read and it will make me mad, I don't have a text plan.

I am going to go off on a tangent here. Obviously I was not at your date but almost every first date that I have ever had has ended with a "we should do this again" comment. And it is the very rare girl that really was interested in actually going on a second date. So the statement that you would like a second date, from either person, is pretty much meaningless. If you are actually interested in a second date you should be setting it up before the first date has ended. You may not have all the final details worked out but if you have to "check your calendar" before you can decide if you can go out on a second date the you are just not really all that interested.

Just an FWIW, from everything that I read in your OP I can find no place that you are actually showing any real interest or enthusiasm in your guy or in a second date. When he mentioned going out again you should not "agree", there is no enthusiasm in that. You should be stepping forward with a suggestion like "How about Wednesday evening?"
 
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Wiseman2 is online now Wiseman2 Post #10  February 3,2012, 6:48am
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Have you contacted him at all since the date?..If not ..agree with other posters to say something specifically related to an invitation from you....not a pointless nudge to contact you...Good Luck..
snoozrn wrote :
He mentioned a few times during the date that we should see each other again.

However, I have yet to hear from him

I was thinking about sending him a text.
 
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