Advice needed please, a man's point of view much appreciated


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stubborn90 is offline stubborn90 Post #1  February 2,2012, 8:12am
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I had a first date with this guy on Saturday. It went very well. That night, he messaged me telling me he really enjoyed meeting me and wanted to take me out again. He also mentioned he couldn't find me on facebook and asked if I was extremely private. Sounds good right? I replied later that night that I was indeed very private and would add him. Well it is now Thursday and I have yet to hear from him. I don't know what to think. I was told to message him tonight that I would be in the area this weekend and to hit me up if he was interested. If I don't hear from him, that would be my answer. I just do not understand what happened and why he'd change his mind so quickly? I thought it went really well and would have liked a 2nd date to see if it could go somewhere. Another thing, I knew I wouldn't hear from him Sunday because he was traveling all day for his job. I also know he would be traveling around till the end of this week for his job. I also added him on facebook 2 days ago, and he has yet to accept my friend request. Am I overanalyzing it? Most of my friends told me to wait it out and I'll probably hear from him, but I have the gut feeling I will not.
 
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nick222 is offline nick222 Post #2  February 2,2012, 8:26am
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stubborn90 wrote :
I was told to message him tonight that I would be in the area this weekend and to hit me up if he was interested. If I don't hear from him, that would be my answer.
I second this advice. Otherwise you're jumping to conclusions that may or may not be true. People's norms regarding frequency of communication vary widely, especially after only one date.
 
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jimmyh452 is offline jimmyh452 Post #3  February 2,2012, 8:32am
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did you add him when you said you would? If not, he probably just thought you weren't interested or had no integrity. If I were him (and let me say I'd not try to friend a girl after only one date) if you told me on saturday that you'd add me, I'd probably not initiate anymore contact with you until you made good on this.

God, facebook is stupid!
 
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LongLocks is offline LongLocks Post #4  February 2,2012, 8:39am
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From a woman's point of view, if he is really interested in you, you'll hear from him.
 
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nick222 is offline nick222 Post #5  February 2,2012, 8:43am
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LongLocks wrote :
From a woman's point of view, if he is really interested in you, you'll hear from him.
This is why it's a good thing she asked for a man's point of view.
 
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Wiseman2 is online now Wiseman2 Post #6  February 2,2012, 8:44am
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Even if they ask...do not FB 'friend" dates...ever...Too Much Information that may me misconstrued.

Who told you to message him tonight...him?

Why can't you just text or message him ?

How were things left off?
stubborn90 wrote :
I had a first date with this guy That night, he messaged me telling me he really enjoyed meeting me and wanted to take me out again.

He also mentioned he couldn't find me on facebook I replied and would add him.

Well it is now Thursday and I have yet to hear from him.

I was told to message him tonight that I would be in the area this weekend and to hit me up if he was interested.
 
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tweet37 is offline tweet37 Post #7  February 2,2012, 8:51am
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Oh gawd. Another Facebook conundrum thread. Why don't people just call their match and communicate the old fashioned way? It really is much more productive. Really, it is.
 
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nick222 is offline nick222 Post #8  February 2,2012, 8:56am
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Wiseman2 wrote :

Who told you to message him tonight...him?
I think she means that someone she asked for advice suggested she message him tonight to see if he's interested in getting together this weekend. If he doesn't respond, she has her answer. Seems like simple, solid advice to me.

The facebook issue is completely secondary and not really important, as is usually the case with facebook issues.
 
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SteveManchesterEngland is offline SteveManchesterEngland Post #9  February 2,2012, 8:58am
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I would never use Facebook like this man is suggesting. It's weak. I'd be using my phone and at least texting.
 
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stubborn90 is offline stubborn90 Post #10  February 2,2012, 10:25am
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jimmyh452 wrote :
did you add him when you said you would? If not, he probably just thought you weren't interested or had no integrity. If I were him (and let me say I'd not try to friend a girl after only one date) if you told me on saturday that you'd add me, I'd probably not initiate anymore contact with you until you made good on this.

God, facebook is stupid!
Oh I know the facebook part is stupid. I did add him like I said but have yet to have the friend request accepted. I normally wouldnt add someone after a first date but he asked politely at first and I said it was fine if he added me. Facebook aside, I just don't see how he'd change his mind so quickly after all of that.
 
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