AndieIsMe is offline AndieIsMe — Advice Member-Moderator Post #1  January 31,2012, 1:13pm
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This is inspired by the comments made about attractiveness and dating in another thread.

wrote :
It's 20% of men that are getting ~80% of those dates. One dating site found that women considered 80% of men to be below average in attractiveness.
I disagree, completely. I don't think one requires to be seen as above average in attractiveness to be receiving offers for dates or having the offers you put out there to be accepted.

Besides the average people I see in relationships all the time, attractiveness is subject. HIGHLY subjective. One man I think is hott will not be considered attractive by one of my friends. I may be seen as beautiful by one man, but his friend doesn't agree.

Thoughts?
 
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Special-K is offline Special-K Post #2  January 31,2012, 1:32pm
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AndieIsMe wrote :
This is inspired by the comments made about attractiveness and dating in another thread.



I disagree, completely. I don't think one requires to be seen as above average in attractiveness to be receiving offers for dates or having the offers you put out there to be accepted.

Besides the average people I see in relationships all the time, attractiveness is subject. HIGHLY subjective. One man I think is hott will not be considered attractive by one of my friends. I may be seen as beautiful by one man, but his friend doesn't agree.

Thoughts?
While I agree that attractiveness is highly subjective, I also believe that those (male and female) considered conventionally attractive have better luck online than those who might be considered average or below average in attractiveness, again, conventionally speaking.

That said, IRL, a person's attractiveness is not only highly subjective, it's multi-dimensional. Physical attractiveness aside, there are soooooo many other things that come into play when deciding a person's date-ability.
 
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beccaf87 is offline beccaf87 Post #3  January 31,2012, 1:52pm
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A personality can also highly make or break attractiveness.
 
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nick222 is offline nick222 Post #4  January 31,2012, 1:58pm
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Special-K wrote :
Physical attractiveness aside, there are soooooo many other things that come into play when deciding a person's date-ability.
Exactly. One such factor is whether or not their view of the world is so warped that they could possibly think that 20% of men date 80% of women. _

51% of U.S. adults are in opposite-sex marriages. How do all of those men get married if most of them can't get dates? And what do the 20% do with their other 3 girlfriends that they're each hoarding once they get married? Lock them up in a shed out back? Keep them all as mistresses? Seems like a lot of work.

This isn't a "theory". This is sour grapes. Normal-looking guys get dates all the time. Generally not when they're preoccupied with blaming others for their lack of dates, though.
Last edited by nick222; January 31,2012 at 2:24pm.
 
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dmi is online now dmi Post #5  January 31,2012, 2:00pm
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That OKC article also showed that women regularly messaged men that they rated as "below average". So, while maybe OKC women's rating habits may be skewed, who they actually message isn't so much.
 
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AndieIsMe is offline AndieIsMe — Advice Member-Moderator Post #6  January 31,2012, 2:04pm
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dmi wrote :
That OKC article also showed that women regularly messaged men that they rated as "below average". So, while maybe OKC women's rating habits may be skewed, who they actually message isn't so much.

That's the thing! I may not consider every guy I've ever dated a super hotty, but "to me" he is. Does that make sense? Just because he's not going to show up on the top 100 Hottest Men in America does not mean he isn't attractive to me.
 
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dmi is online now dmi Post #7  January 31,2012, 2:08pm
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AndieIsMe wrote :
That's the thing! I may not consider every guy I've ever dated a super hotty, but "to me" he is. Does that make sense? Just because he's not going to show up on the top 100 Hottest Men in America does not mean he isn't attractive to me.
But, what would you rate him on a site? A 10 because he's a 10 to you or a 5 because you think in terms of what the rest of the world would think of him?
 
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AndieIsMe is offline AndieIsMe — Advice Member-Moderator Post #8  January 31,2012, 2:16pm
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The heck with the world. All the men I've dated have been 10's. Until they do something to become a 2.

I've dated 10's. The ones the world considers a 10. When you get past the handsome face all you are left with are personalities. If their personality can't hit a solid 7 or better, they're "overall" score drops.
 
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PG-13 is offline PG-13 Post #9  January 31,2012, 3:13pm
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Andie, I gotta agree with you on that one... The women I've seriously dated I've considered "10s" although now I'm past those relationships, they aren't girlfriends and have more perspective, they weren't "10s"...

After the hollywood knockout types though, it is really super subjective... I think most everyone can come to consensus on 9s and 10s and 1s and 2s, but I think 4s through 7s can be really interchangeable depending on the person.

To wit from personal experience, one of my better friends seems to only date people that have the slim, athletic body type and thus, didn't find my ex particularly attractive (who was extremely busty but heavier) whereas I've thought some of his girlfriends could stand to eat some more snacks (a couple of them had that hummingbird metabolism thing, so not their fault). Its the old "to each their own". Honestly, its a really good thing that everyone finds different types/traits attractive - its a combination of social, societal, psychological, and personal influences...

As far 20-80, I think there's a tiny bit of validity that the supremely physically attractive people can have the interest level where they can "date" a lot of people but I've also found that those people can be high maintenance/have high standards (both male and female) and tend to cycle through people more quickly.

As far as long lasting, long term relationships, I'm not sure if there's that much of an advantage.
 
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AndieIsMe is offline AndieIsMe — Advice Member-Moderator Post #10  January 31,2012, 3:27pm
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Interest levels have to be on both sides for the dates to happen, however. So, if a woman who is considered a "2" by the guy who is a "9" contacts him, it does not mean they will get a date. She most likely will be ignored or poofed on.

Getting to the date has a lot more to do with how you handle your online dating life, meeting people in general and how much confidence (not arrogance) a person exudes.
 
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