The voice on the other end


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smileygirl is offline smileygirl Post #1  January 31,2012, 3:09am
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So, you have a few email exchanges, you are both mutually interested and decide to talk on the phone. When you answer the voice on the other end is like nails on a chalk board, how do you handle it?
 
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tink333 is offline tink333 — Advice Member-Moderator Post #2  January 31,2012, 3:17am
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If it was really that bad, I'd probably decline a meeting. However, if you think you might be a match on paper, then set up a meeting and see how it goes. If you still dislike the pitch and tenor of his voice, then obviously you won't be interested in dating him.
 
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jov27 is offline jov27 Post #3  January 31,2012, 4:24am
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I'm unusual in that I really don't like talking on the phone before I meet someone and not wanting to get turned off by the voice is one of the reasons. I almost always don't like disembodied voices and very few men I know have really nice voices. Once I meet someone, the whole person fills my mind when we talk and it's ok, but before, the voice can really grate. I've lived different places and I find some regional sounds difficult. I think it's put an unnecessary negative spin on some initial dates that I have to work around. Men I meet first - I can be surprised when we talk on the phone that I don't like their voices, but it doesn't affect me at that point.

I almost always meet someone once we get to talking on the phone. It would take a real red flag for me not to. But I have to say that the phone voice affects me, maybe more than it 'should.'
 
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Dropdeadredtx is offline Dropdeadredtx Post #4  January 31,2012, 5:46am
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It's an immediate deal-breaker for me. That's why I insist on a phone call before a meeting. An annoying, high-pitched, grating or whiny voice and poor speech, bad grammar or syntax are my number one insta-close. If I can't imagine hearing that voice whispering my name or saying naughty things to me in intimate moments, then I can't do it.
But that is just me. I have been in theatre since childhood, and I think my lifelong association with professional actors has tainted my criteria. And I have a great voice, so...
 
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harnomygirl is offline harnomygirl Post #5  January 31,2012, 6:05am
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Dropdeadredtx wrote :
It's an immediate deal-breaker for me. That's why I insist on a phone call before a meeting. An annoying, high-pitched, grating or whiny voice and poor speech, bad grammar or syntax are my number one insta-close. If I can't imagine hearing that voice whispering my name or saying naughty things to me in intimate moments, then I can't do it.
But that is just me. I have been in theatre since childhood, and I think my lifelong association with professional actors has tainted my criteria. And I have a great voice, so...
You can probably convey more than most people without using your voice too.
 
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Dropdeadredtx is offline Dropdeadredtx Post #6  January 31,2012, 6:10am
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smileygirl wrote :
So, you have a few email exchanges, you are both mutually interested and decide to talk on the phone. When you answer the voice on the other end is like nails on a chalk board, how do you handle it?
So a couple of years ago I met this great guy on another site; it was long distance, and we exchanged lots of smart, witty, flirty emails, then moved to IM - sharp, sexy banter, very Hepburn and Tracy. He was a journalist in NYC, sharp as a tack. We decided to talk on the phone. He called. I answered.
Oh, dear. It was like - Woody Allen on helium. I was so distracted and disappointed it was not a great call.
We never talked again, I don't think.
 
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FairOne is offline FairOne Post #7  January 31,2012, 6:23am
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I once spoke with a match on the phone whose voice was so horrible I thought he was joking. I'm happy I didn't laugh and tell him to quit playing because he was quite serious.
Syntax, grammar, usage and pronunciation are important screens for me as well, which is another reason I like to talk on the phone first, but those factors weren't even a problem with this guy - he just sounded like Mike Tyson.
I didn't meet that guy for a date after that but I don't remember how I handled it so I can't advise you on that. Maybe if he asks you out tell him you enjoyed getting to know him but have decided you don't want to move forward with a date? Or if you really like him and think you could get past his voice you could just go.
 
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harnomygirl is offline harnomygirl Post #8  January 31,2012, 6:32am
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I was always disappointed if I spoke to a penpal on the phone and discovered he had a high pitched voice or an accent like the evil men in historical movies. They can't help it though. I'm sure I have an accent too and the pitch could be due to nerves. It probably shouldn't be a deal breaker.
 
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dmi is online now dmi Post #9  January 31,2012, 7:29am
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In college, there was a girl in the room next to me that had a voice that really annoyed me. Kinda sounded like Sally Struthers. My bed was up against the wall on the side of my room that shared a wall with her room. She used to stay up pretty late and talked a lot. I could hear her voice through the cinder block wall almost like she was in the room next to me. Sometimes, late at night I wanted to rip my ears off just so I could go to sleep in peace.

As I got to know her better, and really, really liked her, suddenly I found her voice didn't bother me one bit. Actually, I found her voice comforting. Funny how perceptions can change.

So, yeah, I'd still meet up and see how things go.
 
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Tipitina is offline Tipitina Post #10  January 31,2012, 8:02am
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dmi wrote :
In college, there was a girl in the room next to me that had a voice that really annoyed me. Kinda sounded like Sally Struthers. My bed was up against the wall on the side of my room that shared a wall with her room. She used to stay up pretty late and talked a lot. I could hear her voice through the cinder block wall almost like she was in the room next to me. Sometimes, late at night I wanted to rip my ears off just so I could go to sleep in peace.

As I got to know her better, and really, really liked her, suddenly I found her voice didn't bother me one bit. Actually, I found her voice comforting. Funny how perceptions can change.

So, yeah, I'd still meet up and see how things go.
I can relate to this story. One of my former coworkers was a great guy, lots of fun and not bad looking, but had problems getting dates after he recovered from his divorce. His mom and sister would actually solicit phone numbers from women whom they thought would be good matches for him, but he'd leave a message and the woman wouldn't call back. The big problem was his voice. It wasn't awful in person, but over the phone he often sounded like Arnold Horshak from "Welcome Back Kotter."

Then again, I had a client that I met over the phone. I thought he was an absolute nebbish, based on his voice. Imagine my surprise when he came to my office and he was an adonis.

That said, I put a lot of stock in voices, but I still would meet the person. Well, unless he sounded like Latka Gravas from "Taxi."
 
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