The voice on the other end


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smileygirl is offline smileygirl Post #11  January 31,2012, 11:29am
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As someone just getting back into dating (after taking a year off after my divorce, I dated a few people over the next year, but took another year off when I realized I still needed the time, and my family was my priorty to do some things that needed attention for my dad), I am always curious about other's experience or feelings, which I sometimes use to help re-frame and adjust my way of thinking, so I can remain as open as possible when meeting new people in the on-line process. Well there won't be a date, but for other reasons, related to our entire conversation being about his kids, and his follow up to ask alot more about my kids as well. I prefer to to stick to talking about common interests and steer away from talking about exe's and children at the very beginning. I want to know more about the person. When he asked what I do in my free time, I shared that with him. When I followed up to ask the same, the entire conversation was "My kids and I go here" "My kids and I love doing this on the weekend" Most weekends, the kids and I do X, unless I don't have my kids" He then asked about my kids, I shared a little, but tried to drive the conversation in another direction, asking where he grew up or went to school, but his response was "I grew up in this town, but I don't know anyone there anymore" I was trying to connect, but, he immediately went to "the kids and I live here now, and we love it" So, for me, not being able to really get to connect past both having kids as a common interest, I wasn't feeling it, so I think it made it that much harder to move past the annoying voice that first started off the conversation.
Last edited by smileygirl; January 31,2012 at 1:26pm.
 
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theycallmeV is offline theycallmeV Post #12  January 31,2012, 12:13pm
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Dropdeadredtx wrote :
It's an immediate deal-breaker for me. That's why I insist on a phone call before a meeting. An annoying, high-pitched, grating or whiny voice and poor speech, bad grammar or syntax are my number one insta-close. If I can't imagine hearing that voice whispering my name or saying naughty things to me in intimate moments, then I can't do it.
THIS! ^ ^ ...I'm on the phone all day at work, I know what male voices I can live with and ones I can not.

If his voice is not a complete turn-off.... I'd agree to a date and hope for the best.

But if its unbearable and a complete deal breaker.... I'd be as nice and honest as possible and move on.
 
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MileHighArtist is offline MileHighArtist Post #13  January 31,2012, 3:03pm
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smileygirl wrote :
So, you have a few email exchanges, you are both mutually interested and decide to talk on the phone. When you answer the voice on the other end is like nails on a chalk board, how do you handle it?
In my experience people sound a lot different on the phone, especially if they're on a cell. It can go either way, sometimes they have a very appealing/sexy quality to their tone on the phone and then irl it's kinda 'blah'. And vice versa.

I wouldn't reject someone cause of their voice after one call. I'd meet them in person at least once.
 
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Alli824 is offline Alli824 — Advice Member-Moderator Post #14  January 31,2012, 4:40pm
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If the voice does not grab me I'm not interested. This is yet another reason I speak with people before I meet up. I'm visual and audial... so an unappealing voice, poor grammar etc. would be the kiss of death for me.
 
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PG-13 is offline PG-13 Post #15  January 31,2012, 5:03pm
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I always want to talk on the phone before I meet because I have a fairly deep voice, theater background, 4 years of tour guide experience (during which I got a fair number of comps to Seth Rogen's vocal intonations)... I think it helps me out personally... But I have found some matches who don't want to talk on the phone and go straight to a date...

I haven't lost interest because of a female voice (although I can tell some of my matches were wicked nervous) but then again I haven't been matched with the 29 year Pac NW Fran Drescher or anything...
 
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