How many dates until exclusive? Date other people still?


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jimmyh452 is offline jimmyh452 Post #11  January 31,2012, 8:33am
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I personally find multi-dating acceptable through 3 dates. After 3 dates you need to make a decision whether you want to continue or not. This is usually, in my experience save for one night stands, when things begin to get physical. I have no interest in being physical with anyone when they're being physical with other guys.

Now, this doesn't mean that after 3 dates you're in a committed relationship, but it's probably time to start talking about expectations.
 
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nick222 is offline nick222 Post #12  January 31,2012, 8:50am
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It might be a function of my personality type, but I've never counted "how many dates until" anything, whether it be commitment, sex, who pays, meeting family or friends, spending more time together, etc. Each dynamic between two people is different, so I just go with what feels right with that person in that situation at that time.

I will agree with others, however, that it's never safe to assume that the other person is on the same page as you regarding any of this unless it is discussed.
 
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i_remember is offline i_remember Post #13  January 31,2012, 10:28am
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I go with what feels right. Saw this girl for the first time late last year and I could tell I wanted to see her and only her. Took all of the next date for me to bring that up. What broke us up wouldn't have been anything I could have found out if I would have waited another 2-3 dates so I don't regret my decision and there were no other girls that sparked my interest like she did at the time.
 
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Emmyjoy is offline Emmyjoy Post #14  January 31,2012, 1:26pm
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notyet wrote :

and if i were you, sdsva82, i would probably wait for the guy to bring it up.
Why wait for the guy to bring it up? If you're ready to have sex and talk about exclusivity, then by all means, broach the subject. I have always found it to be a rather comfortable discussion.

As Heidi Klum says "You're either in, or you're out!"
 
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shapeShifter79 is offline shapeShifter79 Post #15  January 31,2012, 1:29pm
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sdsva82 wrote :
1) When should you even start thinking about being exclusive
As soon as you estimate your odds of finding the partner of your dreams are better if you focus on them than if you date and they date others.

wrote :
2) Until you are exclusive, do you still date other people?
I did! I dated, got intimate, etc. Why would I stop exploring other options before my partner agreed to do likewise?

wrote :
I dont want to go all in if he doesnt have the same feelings that I do
The simplest way is to ask.

wrote :
Maybe it's too soon to even be thinking about all of this? Thanks!
It took me fewer dates than you've been on for my girlfriend to ask me for exclusivity and for me to agree. With the previous lady, I didn't agree for six months. Do what feels right to you and don't worry about artificial timetables or schedules.
 
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D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #16  January 31,2012, 2:56pm
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ClaireH wrote :
I will not stop dating others until I am asked not to (and I feel okay with stop dating) - or I no longer feel that I need to look around...

If I need to ask, I already know this can be nothing but a casual encounter.

If she is "not feeling it," I can't force her to.
 
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