women have an easy time getting dates


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ForwardUntoDawn is offline ForwardUntoDawn Post #21  January 30,2012, 1:27pm
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imperfekt wrote :
i have changed my approach from direct to indirect. few guys get all the girls. women need reference points to be positive in the dating world and so do men. A woman gets hit on, asked out, free drinks, which gives her a slight ego boost. later that ego boost makes her alil annoyed with all that attention. Now she becomes even more picky not cause of her self worth but the environment has given her so much attention without her even showing her personality. Now she is more confident.
This sound like you are over thinking, try talking to them first plane and simple
 
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harnomygirl is offline harnomygirl Post #22  January 30,2012, 1:37pm
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imperfekt wrote :
i have changed my approach from direct to indirect. few guys get all the girls. women need reference points to be positive in the dating world and so do men. A woman gets hit on, asked out, free drinks, which gives her a slight ego boost. later that ego boost makes her alil annoyed with all that attention. Now she becomes even more picky not cause of her self worth but the environment has given her so much attention without her even showing her personality. Now she is more confident.
You may be guilty of having too negative a response to what you think women are feeling. It can be seen as a good thing that women seem annoyed by attention based on their looks and not their personalities. A confident woman will make a good date.

Since you believe women prefer you to notice their personalities, you could try meeting them somewhere other than a bar. A different venue would give you a chance to display yours, appreciate hers, and see if you two are compatible.
 
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upstategirl is offline upstategirl Post #23  January 30,2012, 1:51pm
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insertscreenname wrote :
Well, after 6,000 attempts and 0 successes ... I think it's time to change the approach!

I think you might be on to something there
 
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Ingytravel is offline Ingytravel Post #24  January 30,2012, 2:00pm
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imperfekt wrote :
i have changed my approach from direct to indirect. few guys get all the girls. women need reference points to be positive in the dating world and so do men. A woman gets hit on, asked out, free drinks, which gives her a slight ego boost. later that ego boost makes her alil annoyed with all that attention. Now she becomes even more picky not cause of her self worth but the environment has given her so much attention without her even showing her personality. Now she is more confident.

LOL...Where are you getting this ridiculous nonsense???

As mentioned.....you are the common denominator in your failure to get dates....and it seems like instead of ever really trying to see what you may be doing that is putting them off....You want to play the blame game and have the "woe unto me" approach...

Believe me, there is nothing more unattractive about a man when all they are doing is whining and complaining about their life.

Perhaps going to counseling for a bit to figure out the things that YOU can do to help change your situation...

As others have written....wanting to date for the sake of dating and being desperate about it is not going to have women flocking to you.

Others like to be around positive, confident, and joyful people. Work on your own life to make it where you aren't so lonely and then finding a partner will just be a good addition and not "everything" to you.

Having a job you like, wonderful friends/family that you spend time with, volunteering for organizations that you care for, and learning how to be ok with being alone.

Working with a counselor to build your own self esteem and then doing things where you have opportunities to get out of your own head and "poor me" attitude will help immensely.

I wish you luck...
 
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meanminicooper is offline meanminicooper Post #25  January 30,2012, 2:36pm
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6,000 matches makes you an expert on Eharmony. Think about that one....
 
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i_remember is offline i_remember Post #26  January 30,2012, 3:00pm
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Ever considered lowering your standards? Sometimes you gotta bunt to get in the game.

I doubt your number is 6000 approaches but I have a buddy of mine that (at his peak) was over four bills. He was attracted to models and waifs and couldn't understand why they didn't find him attractive or always only wanted to be friends.
 
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JoesComments is online now JoesComments Post #27  January 30,2012, 3:08pm
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Aim lower.

I'm not trying to be a smart alec, but try less attractive women. There are plenty of less than pretty women that are anxious to get asked out. You might find one you like. Even if you don't, you might figure out what works and what doesn't. Then move up the food chain as high as you can go.

By the way, that's in addition to the advice above about getting to a place where you can project a positive attitude.
 
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ForwardUntoDawn is offline ForwardUntoDawn Post #28  January 30,2012, 3:20pm
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I do not believe in the Aim lower idea however I would say Aim correctly.
For example: if you like modern art, you best look for a date at an modern art museum, that way you have something in common to talk about, and it is easier to approach someone
 
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Mike74 is offline Mike74 Post #29  January 30,2012, 3:28pm
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Imperfekt:

You've posted other threads with various theories to explain why some people have an easier time dating then others. Apparently your working hypothesis in this thread is that white women have an easier time dating. I have no idea whether that's true or not. Anyway, what's more important is that you're not having the success that you desire in your dating life. I gave you the following advice in a prior thread, and I think it remains relevant:

"I see by your profile that you live in Hoboken, NJ. What those outside of the NY/NJ area might not know is that Hoboken (a small city on the Hudson river, across from NYC) is THE place where 20 and 30 somethings in northern NJ go to party (except during the summer, when they all go down the shore). There is a bar on every corner, and on the weekends they are packed. My advice is as follows: shave, put on a clean shirt, walk to the nearest bar, and smile, talk, drink and flirt. If you fail, repeat tomorrow night. A good friend of mine met his wife in a Hoboken bar following that same formula, and 12 years later they have 2 kids and a house in the burbs. Now, its probably been more than 10 years since I've been a part of the Hoboken nightlife, but I doubt things have changed much."
 
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Dropdeadredtx is offline Dropdeadredtx Post #30  January 30,2012, 3:29pm
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You are right - it is easier. I turned down two dates today.
 
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