olneyjeeps is offline olneyjeeps Post #11  January 30,2012, 5:04am
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Wonderwoman402 wrote :
Yes, leave out the gory details, and be sure to acknowledge that you had some part in the marriage falling apart. Affairs are seldom the cause, but actually the catalyst for a divorce. When a guy does not acknowledge his part in the ending of the relationship, THAT raises a lot more red flags to me than just about anything else.

Playing the victim and moaning about how horrible she was to you is not attractive. If you did not learn something about yourself and how you behave in relationships (and instead focus on how she burned you), you probably are not yet ready to date. If both these dates picked up on this from you so quickly, you should probably listen and do a bit more introspection or talk to a counselor.
BTW: works the same way for women

I guess I am going to be odd man out here: if she can't handle the objective (key is that you need to be objective) discussion of prior relationships, good riddance. As for being 100% ready, give me a break! No one is ever 100% ready. When going through a town, if you wait for all the lights to be green, you will never get anywhere.

There are sooooo many people out there... don't get discouraged or over anxious. Finally, as I have said dozens of times, stop dating: be / share yourself, do what you like doing... that is when you will be most attractive to someone who likes the same things.
 
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harnomygirl is offline harnomygirl Post #12  January 30,2012, 5:32am
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stormchaser7 wrote :
I have met up with 2 of my matches. The first one we had several good dates and I thought things were going well. I made the biggest mistake by talking about my divorce and the situation that surrounds it. My former wife cheated on me twice. Now I am realizing I shouldn't give out this info. In both cases, they told me I wasn't emotionally ready to date or had too much baggage. How do you talk about the situation when it comes up? Both women seemed to freely talk about their divorces.

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Sometimes when you say things too heatedly, they sound like an accusation. No one wants a date who is insecure about their fidelity, and that might be what comes across when you talk about your divorce. Try saying the same thing in a matter of fact way to your next date and see how she takes it. It's important to be able to share your past so I can see why you would want to be able to talk about it.
 
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tangochef is offline tangochef Post #13  January 30,2012, 6:21am
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I would just say that your ex-wife had better sex life that you did, and you felt it wasn't fair so you guys divorced. No need to elaborate any further.
 
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KikiAZ is offline KikiAZ Post #14  January 30,2012, 11:33am
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Chiming in to say the chances of two random dates both responding this way means there is a problem.

Your answer should be one sentence. If you can't get it to one sentence, without multiple clauses, you may not have enough distance.

Also do not get into questions like "Did your ex cheat? Have you ever cheated? Is it ever ok....." etc.
 
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