Who pays for dates - the 5th and beyond!


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TheThinker is offline TheThinker Post #31  January 30,2012, 6:50pm
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Newbie12 wrote :
Hmm not quite the responses I was looking for. I am not necessarily trying to change the "arrangement," but merely trying to adapt to a developing dating-ship (which happens to be somewhat uncharted territory for me). I wouldn't go as far as saying that seeking tips online is throwing a wrench in anything. #chill
Hmmm..then what are the resposnes you're looking for?
What, exactly are you trying to adapt to?? for what purpose?
you said"we're both happy" and "doing well financially..
so what's(or where's )the issue?

BTW-
I'm all chillin like a villian, yo...
 
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barbarella_42 is offline barbarella_42 Post #32  January 30,2012, 7:25pm
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I hate splitting bills. That's something I do with my friends, not something I want to do on a date. My BF paid the first couple of times we went out, and I picked up the check on the third date. We began alternating more or less from there. If we're going out for something like dinner and a movie, one of us generally pays for dinner and the other pays for the movie. I say "generally" because we don't keep track that closely: The rule is that if either of us feels that he or she is getting a raw deal, it's that person's job to speak up.

We also did a rough split of our vacation last week: He bought the plane tickets and I covered most other things, although he organized a really wonderful surprise birthday dinner for me and champagne afterwards.

Neither of us feels that the situation has been in any way unfair thus far, a situation that's helped by the facts that a.) Neither of us is into nickel and diming, and b.) We just like doing stuff for each other. Might not work for everyone, but it does the job for us.
 
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tink333 is offline tink333 — Advice Member-Moderator Post #33  January 30,2012, 8:01pm
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I dunno. It always just happened. We'd usually alternate - He'd pay for one dinner date, and then I'd pay for the next. Or he'd buy dinner, and I'd buy the movie tickets and snacks. I think it needs to feel right and that neither person should feel put upon or start 'keeping score' because that never, ever works.

If you're ok with the way things are, just go for it, and when she offers to pay or if she comes up with a 50/50 or every-other type of scenario, discuss it. I don't think anyone today expects the guy to pay for everything and the girl to get a free ride, nor was it that way in the 80's when I was a lot younger and dating.
 
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