sigh, back to the drawing board

It does not matter how brief it was because you are not mourning losing her, you are mourning being excited about someone.

Dating is barely bearable going on the first dates with the people you don't like over and over again, to think you don't have to do that because you are excited about someone again and then to have to go back to the first dates with people you don't like over and over again just really sucks.

Vent away!

I feel your pain! Surprisingly, my last relationship was the first time that I didn't immediately bounce back. Well, I tried several times, but just didn't have my usual enthusiasm about dating. I moped for quite a while, which was a first, but I think as frustrating as it was to "waste" time crying over a dead end (and cry I did), I also grew the most as a result.

I think like you, I was finally really ready to settle down. It also didn't help that I attended a record number of baby showers for my friends this past year. Literally every other weekend, I had a tangible reminder as I purchased baby stuff on registries that my friends lives were progressing. And I really liked the guy, and he really liked me. In the end, it just didn't work out. Time marches on.

So advice? None really. Not sure there is a fast track to recovery. Just use the time to think about what you might do differently, how you might be a better partner (I'm working on being more thoughtful and caring right now), and how you might make better choices. If you think about her, try to focus on the fact that she didn't waste your time. It may not have been the most adult way to break up, but at least she didn't waste months and years of your life when she knew it wouldn't work (as some people might have).

How about empathy? I'll give you a bucketful of that. And it does get better. I'm back to looking forward with excitement to every new guy I date. Although I will be just ecstatic when I finally meet the One!

Yeah the thought of going on another two dozen first dates where there is no spark just depresses me.

I met someone, dated her for a month and a half, felt there was real potential. At first, she seemed into it too and we were excited to see each other regularly. Then, she started getting distant when I started hinting at something more long term, and sure enough, she starts being "busy" all the time, refusing to go out with me, taking longer to respond to my texts, and fading away until she's gone. She didn't even have the decency to tell me that it was over.

...I know it wasn't anything really serious, but I still feel awful. I was ready for something more. After 3 years of being single, I'm ready to meet someone and settle down, and it's just hard to take this when you get really excited about embarking on a new relationship. Maybe it was my fault for getting excited over something that was never really real to begin with. All my friends are telling me to just get out there and meet someone whose wants align with mine, but it just feels so daunting right now to start all over again.

I guess this is more of a vent post than anything. Any tips on how to get over something like this, even if it was very brief? I just really thought it'd be different this time. Back to the drawing board, I suppose.