sigh, back to the drawing board


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EccentricAmbiguity is offline EccentricAmbiguity Post #11  January 30,2012, 7:35am
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There is something particularly painful when there is no direct closure. What I would suggest is giving yourself the closure you need. When something similar happened to me, I would picture the guy and then imagine him feeling nothing for me..or even feeling negative feelings about me. I know this sounds counterintuitive, but once I let myself become aware of the fact that he wasn't into me at all, but just didn't have the guts to tell me, it was like an invitation to cease giving someone all my thoughts and energy who did not deserve it.... it was actually inspriation for me to go find someone else. Sorry this happened and I hope you bounce back soon!
 
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SteveManchesterEngland is offline SteveManchesterEngland Post #12  January 30,2012, 8:58am
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Hopeful31 wrote :
Btw, there's actually a name for this kind of horrendous behavior. It's called the Slow Fade. The fact that there's a name for it means there are enough jerks in the world to make it a statistically significant act of cowardice.
correct. Also it's passive aggressive behaviour in my opinion.
 
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sdsva82 is offline sdsva82 Post #13  January 30,2012, 5:00pm
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I feel your pain...you get excited, go on dates, feel the spark...then see less of them, hear less from them, and so on and so on. You wonder what you did wrong or what you should have done but didnt. It's frustrating! I, too, have many married/committed friends and friends with babies and I feel like I'm just kind of stuck in neutral. My boss even came up to me today and said "Why arent you married yet? Isnt EVERYONE your age married?" Uhh yeah...slap in the face.

Here's my advice - look back and see if there were any things or characteristics about the person that you didnt like, but looked over because you really thought you liked her...now ask yourself if you really could deal with those things or be with someone like that. I think when we start to really 'like' someone, a lot of times we moreso like the idea of being excited about someone again and settle for things we dont really want. Kind of 'looking through rose-colored glasses' type thing so to speak.
 
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