Idealistic expectations


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EccentricAmbiguity is offline EccentricAmbiguity Post #1  January 28,2012, 9:10am
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I will be going on a date with a guy who I am very interested in meeting and excited to get to know. However, he is overly excited to meet me. I suspected that I was the first person he has dated in a while and after talking to him on the phone my suspicion was confirmed. We are meeting next week but, for example, he texted me from Ireland like 5 minutes after after I emailed him my number to say "hi" and "sleep well..." as he was boarding a boat! He texted me "sweet dreams" after we talked the first time. He said "You will the first person I will be dating since blah blah" as thought we are already dating...but we haven't met! He also referred to what we will do in the "future" and he stopped himself when started that sentence..I think he realized it sounded odd. He mentioned wanting to talk more before we meet but I find that's not the best course of action, nothing compares to meeting and I don't want to create false expectations by a ton of pre-date interaction. Of course I would rather have someone who is eager to meet up than jaded, but I worry that he has placed a very high expectation of me and our first meeting...what are the odds of first dates on dating websites ever turning into something? (I will be his first!)
Last edited by EccentricAmbiguity; January 28,2012 at 9:15am.
 
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RockyRaccoon83 is offline RockyRaccoon83 Post #2  January 28,2012, 9:18am
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EccentricAmbiguity wrote :
what are the odds of first dates on dating websites ever turning into something? (I will be his first!)
Hey it happens. One of my good friends got online and the first date she went on became her long term boyfriend. Another friend of mine switched services and first guy she dated from Match became her boyfriend.

This guy sounds overly excited to meet you, which is cool, but also keep in mind that you guys don't really know each other yet. But as long as you're as excited to meet him, then it's okay, I suppose.
 
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DancingFool is offline DancingFool Post #3  January 28,2012, 9:18am
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LOL....now who is putting the cart before the horse. You haven't met, have no clue if you'll like each other in real life and you are already worried about the future and what might be and what your odds are? Sorry, but this is a hilarious case of a pot calling a kettle black.
 
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D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #4  January 28,2012, 9:20am
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This is something that I think is very likely to fix itself as soon as any stability sets in (which is when you decide and communicate that you like what you have so far and want to see what develops in an exclusive relationship.)

My odds are not very high (most meetings I have no interest in seeing her again, and when I do only about half the women do.) Still, that other half is still the point of all this!
 
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Special-K is offline Special-K Post #5  January 28,2012, 9:22am
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Okay, at the risk of this sounded jaded myself, here are my thoughts...

You are accepting at his word that you are "his first." While I do believe in giving peeps the benefit of the doubt, it has also been my experience, that when someone comes off as way over-eager, you're not the first w/ whom this tactic has worked. Yes, it's good to be excited (much better than jaded); however, excitement should also be tempered w/ self-control.
 
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EccentricAmbiguity is offline EccentricAmbiguity Post #6  January 28,2012, 9:33am
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DancingFool wrote :
LOL....now who is putting the cart before the horse. You haven't met, have no clue if you'll like each other in real life and you are already worried about the future and what might be and what your odds are? Sorry, but this is a hilarious case of a pot calling a kettle black.
I'm glad I made you laugh.
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harnomygirl is offline harnomygirl Post #7  January 28,2012, 9:34am
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I don't know where your van is located, but if this a long distance relationship it's necessary for one of you to get as pumped up about the meeting as possible. Just be happy that he's volunteered and have a good time.

He can't marry you without your permission, so it doesn't really matter how far ahead his imagination has taken him.
 
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EccentricAmbiguity is offline EccentricAmbiguity Post #8  January 28,2012, 9:35am
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Special-K wrote :
Okay, at the risk of this sounded jaded myself, here are my thoughts...

You are accepting at his word that you are "his first." While I do believe in giving peeps the benefit of the doubt, it has also been my experience, that when someone comes off as way over-eager, you're not the first w/ whom this tactic has worked. Yes, it's good to be excited (much better than jaded); however, excitement should also be tempered w/ self-control.
I don't get the feeling he is using it as a tactic...he just moved to area and I get the impression his enthusiasm is genuine. It reminds me a lot of when I went on my first online date, in my mind I remember thinking before I met the guy "Wow, this is so easy! He is seems perfect!" And I was very dissapointed.
 
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EccentricAmbiguity is offline EccentricAmbiguity Post #9  January 28,2012, 9:41am
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harnomygirl wrote :
I don't know where your van is located, but if this a long distance relationship it's necessary for one of you to get as pumped up about the meeting as possible. Just be happy that he's volunteered and have a good time.

He can't marry you without your permission, so it doesn't really matter how far ahead his imagination has taken him.
Haha, doesn't anyone remember Chris Farley?
Chris Farley: Living in a Van down by the River - YouTube
 
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Wiseman2 is online now Wiseman2 Post #10  January 28,2012, 10:06am
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Some people just come on strong. As you mention... until you actually meet, there is anticipation, but nothing "real" yet...Good Luck
 
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