nick222 is offline nick222 Post #31  January 28,2012, 9:44am
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I would say there's a slight chance that this was an honest mistake/miscommunication, but it's about 80 or 90% likely that this guy has some serious personality issues. If you choose to give him the benefit of the doubt, proceed with caution and bail if anything like this happens a second time.
 
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Ephemera is offline Ephemera Post #32  January 28,2012, 9:57am
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I'd think that if he sent to the wrong person then it's fairly likely that he's in an emotional state about someone other than the OP already and it might be prudent to set a meet for a few weekends in advance in order for him to chill a bit first. Because I'm not always 100percent sane myself, I'm willing to over-look moments of insanity in others. But not whole entire insane personalities. Got to meet them to know, though. And I enjoy an hour or two with a good crazy as a form of amusement. Crazy can have it's uses.
 
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nick222 is offline nick222 Post #33  January 28,2012, 10:04am
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Ephemera wrote :
I'd think that if he sent to the wrong person then it's fairly likely that he's in an emotional state about someone other than the OP already
Good point. Even if it was a miscommunication, it could still indicate that he has issues. These possibilities are not mutually exclusive.
 
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Alli824 is offline Alli824 — Advice Member-Moderator Post #34  January 28,2012, 11:43am
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Ephemera wrote :
I'd think that if he sent to the wrong person then it's fairly likely that he's in an emotional state about someone other than the OP already and it might be prudent to set a meet for a few weekends in advance in order for him to chill a bit first. Because I'm not always 100percent sane myself, I'm willing to over-look moments of insanity in others. But not whole entire insane personalities. Got to meet them to know, though. And I enjoy an hour or two with a good crazy as a form of amusement. Crazy can have it's uses.
Very good point! Have not heard back from him as yet. His response to my response should be interesting. Let's see if he follows through on meeting up.
 
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livinagin is offline livinagin Post #35  January 28,2012, 12:55pm
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Ephemera wrote :
I'd think that if he sent to the wrong person then it's fairly likely that he's in an emotional state about someone other than the OP already and it might be prudent to set a meet for a few weekends in advance in order for him to chill a bit first. Because I'm not always 100percent sane myself, I'm willing to over-look moments of insanity in others. But not whole entire insane personalities. Got to meet them to know, though. And I enjoy an hour or two with a good crazy as a form of amusement. Crazy can have it's uses.
I thought I was the only person like that!
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #36  January 28,2012, 3:56pm
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I am sorry but I just can't agree with all the people that think he was drunk e-mailing or sent the message to the wrong person. I can see NOTHING in the OP that would even remotely suggest either.

I also don't see anything that would lead me to think he is Needy, Nutty or Anxious. What I do see is someone who has a huge chip on his shoulder, thinks he is better than everyone else (might go with the local area) and is very possessive. I would neither waste my time meeting someone like this nor chance a meeting with someone like this. While Ephemera thinks that "crazy" has it's uses, psychotic does not.

My response to an e-mail like this would have been "I was interested in meeting you until I got your e-mail this morning. I no longer believe that we are at all a good match. I wish you well in your search. Alli824"

If you do decide to proceed to meet this guy I pray that you will be extra cautious as this guy has dangerous written all over him.
 
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Alli824 is offline Alli824 — Advice Member-Moderator Post #37  January 28,2012, 4:17pm
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Gr8Guyn2008 wrote :
I am sorry but I just can't agree with all the people that think he was drunk e-mailing or sent the message to the wrong person. I can see NOTHING in the OP that would even remotely suggest either.

I also don't see anything that would lead me to think he is Needy, Nutty or Anxious. What I do see is someone who has a huge chip on his shoulder, thinks he is better than everyone else (might go with the local area) and is very possessive. I would neither waste my time meeting someone like this nor chance a meeting with someone like this. While Ephemera thinks that "crazy" has it's uses, psychotic does not.

My response to an e-mail like this would have been "I was interested in meeting you until I got your e-mail this morning. I no longer believe that we are at all a good match. I wish you well in your search. Alli824"

If you do decide to proceed to meet this guy I pray that you will be extra cautious as this guy has dangerous written all over him.
Well I haven't heard back from him since I responded, and he has been on line a couple of times. So in the clear light of day he's either embarrassed, or my response made him realize I wasn't desperate, low in self esteem, or flattered. He may just have poofed!
 
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NYCpigeon is offline NYCpigeon Post #38  January 28,2012, 4:50pm
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Alli824 wrote :
Here's the scenario. Yesterday I had several e mail exchanges with a man on Match that I seemed to have quite a bit in common with. After the second exchange he expressed interest in meeting this weekend. I responded with my schedule and several suggestions as to where we could meet. Went to bed at 11.30 last night. The last e mail with the suggestions was sent by me. Booted up the computer this morning and got this. What am I missing?

"You did say here that you don't like wasting time and that although you had a lunch date Saturday, you would be interested in getting together Sunday. So, naturally I'm now a little confused. We had a great conversation, I thought, but if something about that conversation made you less inclined to want to seriously consider me for a date this weekend, I'd really appreciate it if you would tell me that. I guess it's about honesty and openness. I f you don't think it will really work between us, just let me know, no harm done. I became very interested in you through our conversation and would like to know if that is or is not a mutual feeling. I'm sure that you understand that it is not pleasant to get your hopes up when the feeling is not corresponded. I hope it is, but do please let me know.
Thanks,
The fact that he mentioned Saturday straight away, shows this set him off. It bothered him.

Next, you'll notice how many times he shows insecurity with the fact that you mentioned Saturday.

Finally, he tries to rationalize that his rant is perfectly normal and not the result of an inferiority complex.

Drunk? Yes. Excuse him for being drunk? No. He has serious issues.
 
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tangochef is offline tangochef Post #39  January 28,2012, 5:15pm
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Well, Sunday is the first day of the week, so technically could be counted as not being the weekend
 
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alethea is offline alethea Post #40  January 28,2012, 5:39pm
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I think he meant to send it to you and I think he was asking for reassurance that you are interested in him because to him, it does not seem like it because you have a lunch date with someone else this weekend.

While, I think he does not realize that not everyone only talks/dates with one person I think he was very honest and open about what he was thinking and what he feared.

I would not necessarily not see him for this. If he was defensive then I would have but he just sounds confused because he thought things were going so well. He is under the belief that you dating others at this point means you will not be interested him.

If he is a jealous or insecure type then this will come out naturally while you are in the dating process so until I had confirmation that was true, I would proceed.

All I know at this point is he sent an email that was written sincerely. I think he is naive to think people only talk with one person at a time on dating sites but what will that have to do with anything if we get to a relationship. It will not matter at that point.
 
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